Fussy eating as an adult - is this a common thing?

[Strawberrycocktail]

My DH seems to me to be quite a fussy eater. He seems to have a long (and growing) list of foods/dishes he has specified he doesn’t like. So much so it becomes hard to shop for meals for a family. I try to raise my children as unfussy eaters and encourage them to try different foods. I have accepted fussiness at a young age but encourage more adventurousness as they get older. My eldest (16) is now reasonably adventurous in food choices and will at least try and eat most food put in front of him even if he has some things he eats more enthusiastically than others. However, DH stands out as the consistently and resolutely picky ester in our house. I can’t think of a time when I have refused to eat any choice if food he has bought even if it wouldn’t have bern something I would have chosen myself. I wondered if I am unusually unfussy or us my DH unusually fussy? What happens in other people’s houses? Are you all trying to navigate your partner’s food dislikes or are you the one who has a long list of food dislikes or do you both muddle along eating most food without complaint?

I am but for me it’s sensory, I cook 3 different meals most days as eldest has autism only eats a few things, I eat more choice than him but still not a massive amount and also have a bowel condition so not everything agrees with me.

My DH will eat anything and everything, but I am very fussy. Always have been and probably always will be.

My husband classes me as a fussy eater. Though I have improved considerably since we met. He does most of the cooking and will 'hide' things in the food. So for example he will do a lasagne and put onion in or pepper. I would never eat either of these things on their own but when masked by other flavours I don't really notice. We get round some things like if he fancies a Chinese or curry he will have it if I'm a work on an evening.

I do think it's partly to do with my upbringing, we were never forced/encouraged to try things. If we didn't like them we didn't eat them. I'm quite content to eat a couple of slices of toast for a meal. But I have opened my palette and now eat most vegetables. I won't eat salad but I see that as no biggy.

My sister is worse. She lives off garlic bread, chips, chocolate, cheese and tuna sandwiches. Won't eat meat, not because of animal cruelty it's the texture. And she sit and eat nothing whilst her partner has a Chinese.

I was a fussy eater. I suppose I still am, but I do most of the cooking and I just cook what I like (which is actually quite a wide range).

I don't think this is a 'right' and 'wrong' thing. If you don't like something, you don't like it. Noone should trying guilt-tripping someone else into eating something they don't like. We all have different likes and dislikes in our house. Meals aren't too tricky - just pick out the bits you don't like / cook your own / I make a core meal everyone likes, and they chose the 'optional extra' on the side. Just like if you have a veggie / gluten intolerant person on the house, you work around it.

My husband eats anything I cook, but complains about stuff he doesn’t like.

My answer to fussy eaters is “this isn’t an a la carte restaurant”. I’m serving balanced meals cooked from scratch, often with top notch ingredients. Anyone who doesn’t like it can eat toast (so far no one has).

I’m also a fussy eater, and I’m 50. A couple of years ago I read the word “ARFID” on here, didn’t know what it meant, so looked it up. It describes me to a T.

I’ve not been to the GP about it, as I figure there’s no point in trying to get diagnosed as it wouldn’t change anything. I don’t want any kind of “treatment” to enable me to eat the (many many) things I won’t eat.

I'm a fussy eater. I get round it by doing most of the cooking.

The only things I won't eat are offal, Crab, Lobster, Mussels and Oysters. Im not keen on artichokes but if I was at someones house and they were in the meal I could easily eat them.

Growing up we were never forced to clear our plates and were allowed things we wouldn't eat, I use to hate mushrooms because of the texture but I love them now.
Meals and food were never a big deal, decent food was just served, we ate and that was that.

I’m somewhat fussy but I do most of the cooking so I just avoid foods I don’t like. We still eat a wide range of foods. There are just some foods I really can’t stomach and no amount of trying will change that. There are also some foods that I don’t like much but will eat if someone else has cooked for me. If we’re invited for dinner at someone’s house I would say (apologetically) which foods I don’t eat. I don’t want to be rude, but if you serve fish or seafood, very spicy food with lots of chilli, or avocados, then I really won’t be able to eat it. I haven’t consciously chosen to be fussy and would prefer not to be! I imagine that is true for most fussy eaters as it can be quite embarrassing.

I wouldn’t class dh as a fussy eater, but he doesn’t enjoy the same range of foods that I do. He doesn’t enjoy curries, strong spices, chickpeas, lentils, fish or green veg. But he’ll eat those things once in a while. I don’t like steak, red meat, shellfish, fast food and onions. Dd can’t bear the texture of mashed potatoes and finds poultry challenging.

It definitely limits the repertoire of meals we eat regularly. I’m definitely the fussiest, because I would really struggle to eat some of those things- I’d rather skip the meal altogether. But the three of us, eating our preferred diets would get a good range of nutrients.

I'm not a fussy eater, I'm just particular 😀

I'm also vegan.

I have no desire to force myself to eat food I just don't like. There's plenty I do. No big deal.

I used to be snooty about fussy eaters. I thought they were childish and a pain in the arse. I've since learned a lot about neurodiversity, sensory differences, childhood experiences shaping the adult relationship with food etc, and I feel rather ashamed of my former intolerance. I accommodate people's food preferences now with as little song and dance as possible. It's so personal, often not within the person's control, and just not important enough to get in the way of relationships.

I can't imagine being a fussy eater as an adult so this thread is really educational, thank you. I had some strong dislikes as a child but they all went by the time I was 20 and I assumed that was normal. Takes all sorts.

I've never attempted to eat animal eyes or chicken feet but would give them a go if offered. Having said that I'm increasingly vegetarian as I get older but I don't label it.

What happens in other people’s houses?

We all eat what we choose most of the time.

DH and I sometimes have the same meal but more often than not we don't. DC eats much earlier and is a vegetarian so wouldn't eat the same as is anyway. When the eldest was still at home he only ate chicken nuggets and bread for about 8 years (he is slowly increasing his choises) and the middle one ate something completely different to the rest of us.

No prizes for guessing we are autistic.

It never bothered me to cater for individual needs but if you are struggling take him out of the equation and ask him to either do a list for you if you are shopping or to go himself. He can also make his own if you don't want to make 2 meals.

My OH is like this and I try not to categorise it as 'fussy' but admit that this goes through my head

People like or dislike something dont they. I like most foods, a lot of foods but there are some things that I cant stand like offal

Having said that Im fussy with temperature. I HATE food out of the fridge, it has to be luke warm. I even warm up salad. I hate the texture of things that have been in the fridge, all tight and firm. People ruin food by putting it the fridge as far as Im concerned but OH has a fit of the vapours if anything is left out of the fridge for more than a few seconds. Drives me round the bend.

Reading this is eye opening. I never realised how many adults are fussy eaters.

In our house we literally all eat basically anything. DD1 doesn't love coleslaw but will eat it if someone put it on her plate. I'll eat anything as long as it isn't too spicy. DH eats anything.

Im curious about ‘fussy’ eaters as it’s a very alien concept to me. I’d find it difficult to have to constantly navigate my dietary choices.

Have you ever consciously tried to desensitize yourself, for instance by consciously taking small bites and trying to explore and get to grips with the taste and texture?

also wondering whether techniques such as CBT might help? Just thinking aloud…

I'm fussy(especially by English standards), but since I cook for myself I don't see the issue with it. I also don't see why I should put the work in to end up eating something that I won't enjoy.

If someones health is being affected by limited intake or if they find themselves disabled by it, perhaps. Otherwise why?

There are very few foods I wont eat, apart from the ones that now give me heart burn. But liver and kidneys. My god the taste, horrible horrible horrible. Like eating urine. Texture is horrible too

Plus Im remembering now there are a few things Im not overly keen on, sweet potato, butternut squash (both are too sweet with horrible texture), parsnips going the same way, too sweet. Plus wild salmon and trout, both taste like mud.

I am the fussiest eater in the world, mainly because I don’t really care about food (see another post where I got flamed for being a weirdo).

Just eat what you need to survive and don’t worry about it. So much fuss is made about food these days. Can’t be arsed to give it headspace 🤷‍♀️

I don’t really see myself as fussy but maybe I would be to the outside world. I’m willing to try most things but I find some things too much. Smoked salmon, goats cheese, game, veal, swordfish, octopus. I’ve tried all of those but the flavours were too strong for me, or I can manage a few mouthfuls of it before I find it overpowering. Other than goats cheese, they don’t really appear in day to day life, so I never struggle to find something to eat at a restaurant or at a work event. There are also times when I find a chocolate cake too chocolately, it’s not that I dislike chocolate but sometimes a flavour I like can be used too much.

I do have some weird things about certain foods around texture (banana) or how it’s processed and it changes the taste of it (apple). I admit they’re weird. It limits us at home a bit because I wouldn’t want a pork and apple tray bake for example and DH would probably quite enjoy that. If DH desperately wanted something I didn’t like, that’s fine we’ll just eat different things. On the whole though it doesn’t impact on day to day life because there is enough I eat otherwise so we have a varied menu, I’ll eat at different restaurants and try new flavours.

Despite my love of most foods, if we were not such a global animal, with imports and/or different cultivations of foods, our palates and tastes would have been far less extensive.

People might go on about the spice roads and the Romans with what food they bought over but the vast majority of people wouldnt have been dining on olive oil and fish sauce. Even a few hundred years ago, the majority of the population would have had quite basic foods and textures.

No I just eat what I want because your opinion doesn't matter.

It's not something I need therapy over

But why? Being a fussy eater doesn't affect my life at all.

Another thing I see on this site all the time, people suggesting therapy because the poster doesnt do the things another poster does or doesnt like doing something.