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Original poster

Is he weird?

131 replies

Mazhaz · 30/09/2023 16:27

Long story short, met this guy. He's very handsome, successful, hardworking and funny.

When we met I instantly got a weird vibe from him but thought my intuition may be in overdrive due to a previously abusive relationship.

The list of things that bothered me are:

The look in his eyes.

The fact that he always has a small bottle of alcohol in his pocket to 'calm his nerves.'

He's mentioned a few times about how beautiful my 9 year old daughter is (this isn't an issue) but recently we spoke and he heard that she was preparing food in the background. His response was, 'oh I need a wife like that!' He then realised how it sounded and said 'but older.'

He calls himself a weirdo.

Finally, we met last night and he was acting a bit strange. I mentioned that he made me feel like he views me as a little cheap since he hadn't taken my out but was always interested in sex. His response was
To get reallyyyyy upset and said, 'are you saying I've done something to force you because I can't have people accusing me of that.' he help repeating this and I said no, absolutely not it's just that I feel that's all you're interested in.

He just went on and on about not being accused of touching me without my permission. I said he sounded a little excessively paranoid (first time I've EVER had a guy respond like that). I asked him if he's ever been accused in the past and he said, 'no, but I know people who have...'

He got really upset with me and I kept reassuring him that he had done nothing wrong as he told me from the outset that he didn't want a relationship.

His response? 'I've got tears in my eyes you've upset me that much.'

He then left the car and walked off into his car whilst ignoring me.

No idea what to think... He's called me today and text apologising but I've not responded yet.

OP posts:
beatrix1234 · 30/09/2023 17:19

@Mazhaz He calls himself a weirdo.

Always believe a man when he tells you who he is.

@Mazhaz I kept reassuring him that he had done nothing wrong as he told me from the outset that he didn't want a relationship.

So why are you with him? Is this a fuck buddy situation?

Whatever he is for you he sounds like a weirdo (I have to agree with him) with more red flags than a Putin convention. Plus Your intuition is telling you there’s something wrong with this one. Intuition is usually right.

Bobbotgegrinch · 30/09/2023 17:23

You know you don't need a reason not to see him again @Mazhaz don't you?

He doesn't have to be weird for you to have an excuse not to see him. You feeling like he's weird is enough. Hell, him having bacon for dinner, or watching Corrie last Tuesday is enough. You don't want to see him again, that is enough of a reason not to see him again. You don't have to give him another chance, or the benefit of the doubt, or whatever.

Just block, delete, move on.

Original poster
Mazhaz · 30/09/2023 17:33

Thanks for the advice!!!

I also like the point about me 'feeling' uneasy even if hes ok because that's not a comfortable relationship to be in.

It's so fucking shit. The last guy I was seeing ended up being a total fucking nonce. He inadvertently told me that he likes little boys 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Thank GOD I hadn't so much as hugged the bastard.

I've really done my best to keep a physical distance between myself and men so I've been celibate years.

I just observe for a while.

It's getting sooooo fucking draining though constantly being let down. I've been single 5 years and I'm NOWHERE near finding a man I even want to hug!

FFS

OP posts:
Cinai · 30/09/2023 17:39

Apart from everything else, he said he isn't interested in a relationship but you are looking for something more than just sex, so that’s a mismatch in expectations to begin with. I think you need to let this one go.

Mama2six · 30/09/2023 17:49

The over reaction about the consent of him touching you raises alarm bells with me, and the comment about your daughter…… nope don’t even bother with the Claire’s law just get rid and quick!

SpringleDingle · 30/09/2023 17:54

He’s giving me the creeps virtually! Run for the hills.

Catsafterme · 30/09/2023 17:55

Sounds like you've had bad luck with creeps, are these from OLD?

DatingDinosaur · 30/09/2023 17:59

For your daughter's sake stay away from him and keep her away from him. The couple of comments about "his eyes" and how he spoke about your daughter, plus his quick defensiveness when you said he was just interested in sex.

All points to sexual predator.

I don't think it's you he's interested in, it's your daughter.

Menopausalandtetchy · 30/09/2023 18:02

Jesus Christ OP, run a mile. Yes he is weird.
Gut feeling is also layers and layers of experience coming to the surface to protect you. Do Claire’s law so the police know there has been a request (if he has had allegations in the past) and then disappear pronto. Don’t meet him again. Hope you are ok

PictureConsequences · 30/09/2023 18:18

Mazhaz · 30/09/2023 17:33

Thanks for the advice!!!

I also like the point about me 'feeling' uneasy even if hes ok because that's not a comfortable relationship to be in.

It's so fucking shit. The last guy I was seeing ended up being a total fucking nonce. He inadvertently told me that he likes little boys 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Thank GOD I hadn't so much as hugged the bastard.

I've really done my best to keep a physical distance between myself and men so I've been celibate years.

I just observe for a while.

It's getting sooooo fucking draining though constantly being let down. I've been single 5 years and I'm NOWHERE near finding a man I even want to hug!

FFS

Jeez Mazhaz!!! God that must have been horrific!!

imnotsickbutimnotwell · 30/09/2023 18:19

Weirdo alcoholic creep who sounds over invested in your daughter and is just after sex? He sounds like a prince.

Run away from this situation. Block him on all channels.

He openly calls himself a weirdo? When people tell you who they are then believe them.

Watchkeys · 30/09/2023 18:35

I'm NOWHERE near finding a man I even want to hug

How d'you know? You might meet him tomorrow in Tescos. It'll happen when it's meant to. Drop the drama. You've met some shit blokes. It's not the end of the world.

StopStartStop · 30/09/2023 18:39

A field of red flags. Creepy as fuck. Run. Oh, you are. Well done.

Goldfish41 · 30/09/2023 18:41

Run.

MagpiePi · 30/09/2023 18:44

As a PP said, you don’t need his permission or approval or to justify to him why you want to finish the relationship.
Your instincts are right, he sounds creepy AF.

WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 30/09/2023 18:46

FictionalCharacter · 30/09/2023 17:09

Bin him. I got the creeps just reading that.

^
He's not even trying to hide who he is. I've met men like this so many times over through work (social work/criminal justice) and this is just too many blatant red flags.

Original poster
Mazhaz · 30/09/2023 19:10

Thanks ladies 😭😭😭😭😭

I've just been deleting his number everytime he calls/messages so I can't 'give him the benefit of the doubt" and call him back.

If I block him, his number is forever on my phone and I just want to put this behind me.

I'm sure he'll get the message eventually.

The list of fucking weirdos I've met is unreal. I'm tired. Very ferkin tired of having to keep cutting people off.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 30/09/2023 19:40

It's so stressful dating as a woman and especially as a single mother

Don't do it, then. Why keep doing something you find stressful?

Do you need a man?

Watchkeys · 30/09/2023 19:41

If I block him, his number is forever on my phone and I just want to put this behind me

I'm sure he'll get the message eventually

Just block him. Why does it matter if his number is in your blocked numbers list?

beatrix1234 · 30/09/2023 19:46

Mazhaz · 30/09/2023 19:10

Thanks ladies 😭😭😭😭😭

I've just been deleting his number everytime he calls/messages so I can't 'give him the benefit of the doubt" and call him back.

If I block him, his number is forever on my phone and I just want to put this behind me.

I'm sure he'll get the message eventually.

The list of fucking weirdos I've met is unreal. I'm tired. Very ferkin tired of having to keep cutting people off.

I think you have a bit of a problem reading red flags OP or believing in your intuition. A man carrying a bottle of alcohol inside his pocket all day to “deal with the nerves” is an alcoholic ( I don’t care how successful or handsome he is), problem is that’s not the only red flag, he’s a ‘walking communist convention’ of them. I’m thinking you may have suffered from abuse in the past (ex husband? Childhood trauma?) and you have problems seeing the red flags. Of course I might be wrong.

beatrix1234 · 30/09/2023 19:49

Mazhaz · 30/09/2023 19:10

Thanks ladies 😭😭😭😭😭

I've just been deleting his number everytime he calls/messages so I can't 'give him the benefit of the doubt" and call him back.

If I block him, his number is forever on my phone and I just want to put this behind me.

I'm sure he'll get the message eventually.

The list of fucking weirdos I've met is unreal. I'm tired. Very ferkin tired of having to keep cutting people off.

If you don’t block him there’s a high chance he’ll get back to you with some sob story, apologising of all sorts and you’ll engage thus falling back in the trap.

CryptoFascist · 30/09/2023 20:04

On the plus side, OP, you have recognised all these warning signs.
You haven't ignored them, or made excuses for him, and you've taken action.
It's not always easy to trust your gut, so the outcome of this thread has given me cheer.

Londonscallingme · 30/09/2023 20:07

Not sure about the other stuff but I’m pretty sure it’s only really alcoholics who keep alcohol on their person ‘to calm their nerves’.

Darkmode2 · 30/09/2023 20:12

He calls himself a weirdo.

He's already confirmed to you that he's a weirdo, throw him back in op 🐟🌊🎣

Original poster
Mazhaz · 30/09/2023 21:29

beatrix1234 · 30/09/2023 19:46

I think you have a bit of a problem reading red flags OP or believing in your intuition. A man carrying a bottle of alcohol inside his pocket all day to “deal with the nerves” is an alcoholic ( I don’t care how successful or handsome he is), problem is that’s not the only red flag, he’s a ‘walking communist convention’ of them. I’m thinking you may have suffered from abuse in the past (ex husband? Childhood trauma?) and you have problems seeing the red flags. Of course I might be wrong.

Show quote history

I literally listed all of the red flags and went on to say that I've stopped responding to him 😵‍💫

Did I say we were engaged? And no, my childhood was great. My ex-husband was a tosser but that was 5 years ago.

OP posts: