Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Great updates everyone, can't believe this thread already has 800+ comments!

Let's keep up the good work and support each other.

@NervesOfCotton I hope you are doing all right. Let us know how you get on.

Thank you for checking in cassiatwenty I hope you are doing well.
I just noticed my name on the thread update.

I'm ok. Felt a bit judged so just getting on with things on my own.

Just posting to ask for honest opinions - be truthful I’m a big girl I can take it 🤣

Is it the done thing to send and ask for selfies once you move to WhatsApp? It’s not something I’ve ever done and seeing as when I’m at home I look like a tramp most of the time I’m not comfortable with but seems most guys I’ve chatted to recently ask and send me theirs when I’ve not asked.

The latest one just sent me a photo of him driving - not being rude but I don’t care 🤷‍♀️ but because it’s happened with several men I’m wondering if it’s me being weird but not wanting this.

NellyTheCake

to be honest I’d be really Direct with him
something like -
I get the impression you want to keep seeing me as you have invited me abroad and are discussing Xmas

If this is case I think we should both freeze our online profiles whilst we see where this goes
what do you think mr noodle ?

its a totally reasonable ask IMO
and if he puffs and huffs and asks why you can
mention you saw his profile , be honest

you will have to be prepared to also freeze it obvs

Eugh
Things were going so well between MrLocal and I
About to hit 5 months together
But he's f'd me off for his 'best friend' again
Everything I had been bottling up about it came out this morning
So I'm not sure where it leaves us
I wonder if we're maybe just not compatible.

Oh @NervesOfCotton - please don’t take what one poster said to heart. The rest of us aren’t judging you at all.

Think we’ve all been guilty of misjudging someone who seemed like someone they’re not and it’s part of the learning process. Show me anyone who hasn’t made a bad dating choice - they’re very few and far between.

Sending hugs

I think this is happening more as people don't want to be catfished. If you can send a selfie at any random point, they can see it's really you.

I also think people just enjoy sending and receiving pictures. Men are usually quite visual and seeing pics of you looking lovely are pleasing to them. Women are usually more into words, but no reason why we can't also appreciate pics.

I personally enjoy the pics! It's fun and an opportunity for compliments and flirtation.

Thank you SamW That's kind of you, you are lovely

Re selfies, yes I've sent one if they ask, I just quickly try & make myself look half decent (ha!) & take it & say 'I'm looking rough but this is me' or something.

Must be a me thing then lol. I’m really not interested in seeing selfies of them driving, having a coffee whatever and I’m not sending a photo to someone I’ve not met so I can get compliments. I just find all of that a bit cringey.
And they’ll have a long wait before I say ‘ooh nice photo’ 🤣

No wonder I’m still single lol

SamW I've never been sent one of them driving

I'm usually 'Oh, you look nice'. & then change the subject!

I was sent a driving one earlier which is what made me ask.

Though worst I had was the one who sent me at least 4/5 every day, including one of his legs after he’d been on a sunbed and then got really arsey because I didn’t comment on how brown they looked 🤣🤣

Maybe I’ll take a couple when I’m scrubbed up and use those if they ask. I just find it all a bit tiresome. Like fishing for compliments and I’m not playing that game lol

Oh no, only send one once we first exchange WhatsApp! (For me, anyway)

Still unsure what to do with people who match and are just happy to meditate/be silent once matched. This is really basic OLD 101

qqq82

sorry to hear this
it’s been a niggle for sometime hasn’t it ?
hope your ok

I would say that’s pretty common actually, Teacher used to send me lots of selfies ( she was pretty self obsessed about her looks) and quite a lot driving / in her car.

@qqq82 is this his female friend who was very needy?

@NervesOfCotton no judgement here!

Definitely no judgment here @NervesOfCotton - only support and I appreciate yours

@qqq82 sorry to hear he's annoyed you again. You've lasted longer than I would have with his limpet friend.

@SamW98 I don't mind the odd pic of daily lives being exchanged but I'm quite a visual person and photograph loads 😄

Got 2 matches but it's like pulling teeth so not sure why they bothered to swipe me. I'm embracing being a single cat lady instead and have adopted 2 new kittens to my brood 😄

Yes it's the female best friend again .
He has a few 'needy' friendships and I told him today that I think he has boundary issues
It just happens that this friend is the friend I've now been snubbed for twice .

Slothmomma
🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ ❤️

I got two kittens a year ago
im so glad I did

they are funny and strangely company as I work from home
they have really cheered me up

plus I can now watch cat videos on reels for Hours now
they also get friendlier as they age

I might actually send the latest iron a selfie tonight wearing my West Ham shirt as he’s an arsenal fan 🤣🤣

They are good company and fun @Thisisworsethananticpated. We've already got an older cat and lost 2 others so I said no more but they were homeless and are very cute so I gave in 😄

I’ve got a 3 legged cat. She did have 4 but next doors dog got out and grabbed her. She was in such a bad way I thought I would lose her but she’s recovered remarkably well.

Glad she made it @SamW98. It broke my heart losing the other two which is why I said no more but they did have good lives whilst they were here so we want to do same for these two additions.

Thanks Sam - might give this a whirl