Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I told him that I had a lovely time but he was too forward & rough for me at the end & I don't want to see him again.

He replied with 'No problem, thank you for your honesty, I'm a forward kind of guy & I apologise if I was rough, if you aren't into that then I agree it's best we don't meet again. I wish you well'.

I think that's my healthiest ever 'Thanks but no thanks'!

@SamW98 Steve from Kent is gaining legend status 😂😂😂😂

I can’t remember the name I gave to the guy I’m dating, but we had date 3 last night. Amazing food, drinks. I don’t quite know if he realises just how funny he is, but I was in stitches. Anyway, we are seeing each other again :)

Oh Nerves I'm so sorry it ended like that. I've been in a similar position myself and like you I was thinking it would get better. Are you ok? Kissing is one thing but the boob groping is a violation and so many guys think that's ok, I'm angry for you. 💐
I hope you're alright today

@NervesOfCotton what the heck! A bad kiss is one thing but manhandling you is really not on!

Ugh sorry to hear that @NervesOfCotton sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant end to an evening. I wouldn’t like a guy going for my boobs on the first kiss personally.

At least you found out now rather than later though. He sounds as if he’d be the type to be incredibly rough in bed without checking their partner was OK with that.

@NervesOfCotton sorry to hear your date took a turn after a promising start. You should have roughly squeezed his balls hard and saw whether it was actually his thing or if in fact what he meant was being rough with women is just his thing 🤦‍♀️

Has anyone noticed on tinder that it now has a little yellow text box telling you whether they've already liked you? Never seen this before. Also can't get my head round why men 100s and 100s of mileage away would waste swiping on me 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for the support everybody. Really kind of you & I'm fine, honestly
The boob grabbing didn't bother me so much tbh, I remember thinking I was glad I had kept my coat buttoned up as it gave me som padding on top of them! I jumped back when he got hold of them but of course there's only so far to go with a car seat behind you, I remember thinking something like 'Lets fix this kiss & then I'll sort his hands out'...

Anyway, positives, I got to see my film! Which was brilliant!

SlothmommaI know, I bet he's had women before think that they can't say no, since he's been so lovely the whole evening, even holding open doors & stuff. Thinking they 'owe him' or something & that's probably his aim.

LittleFloatingGhost Brilliant update there! Aww I'm so happy for you, still going strong with Mr... Amazing dates

@SamW98 I'm in your age bracket, and in the world of OLD I've been 'too old' for men my own age and even older since my early 30s 😆

In my mid-30s, I remember seeing a guy in his 50s who stated on his profile (Guardian Soulmates?) that he wanted a woman no older than 32 because fatherhood was still an option under consideration, although he was giving up his sensible career to pursue acting, so she'd have to be fully self-supporting. 😮😮I occasionally wonder if anyone took up with this prize. Fortunately I was too decrepit to be of interest.

I used to like older men but my upper age limit has now stopped dead at my own age. The thought of all those 70-80yo blokes out there wanting some 'young' middle-aged flesh gives me the ick big time.

(No idea why 'and even older' has a line through it, can't find the edit option.)

seishonagon Oh I've spoken to some of those! There was the 50 something who had on his profile 'Id like 10 children' I asked if that was a joke & had the reply of 'Absolutely serious, I've always wanted a big family. Due to your age though, with you being no spring chicken (40 at the time) We'd have to start right away & get to know each other along the way'.

Lovely!

@NervesOfCotton That's awful, especially after such a promising start. How dare he keep groping after you pulled away. At least you know what he's like now and won't have to waste any more time.

@seishonagon I remember stumbling across my 48 year old ex on Match. His profile said 'no grannies please as I want to have children'. Pretty sure he's still single.

My friends pisshead ex messaged me on Badoo 🤮
Funny thing is his profile said he’s 56 and yet I was in his 60th party in 2021

And drinks socially - hmm I could tell you some stories.

IDriveMySupernova Yes it made him more persistent if anything.

Oh no he actually messaged you? I didn't think that would happen 😳

It doesn’t surprise me he’s a creep. And I was actually out with my friend over the weekend as well which he probably knows

He’s made lewd comments to me and other friends before and fancies himself as a bit of a player. He’s blocked on my Fb so why he thinks I’ll respond to him on a dating site is beyond me 🤷‍♀️I’ve blocked him on Badoo now

The distance thing is woman as well, I used to get occasionally swiped by women who were 100 + miles away, one lived in a town I used to live in, that was a bit weird!

London used to be an issue as well- not in London - don’t want to commute into London, but I suppose due to population density that seemed to be where most of matches came up.

My friend’s pisshead ex likes me every time I join a dating site. I never actually met him but from what my friend used to report I found his behaviour bordering on abusive. I remember having to remind her of her worth when he ground her down and encouraged her to bin him.

In his profile he lists one of his interests as ‘psychiatry textbooks’ 🤢 I remember her telling me how he liked to psychoanalyse her and tried to give her an armchair diagnosis. What a creep.

I’m just outside the M25 and get a lot of matches in London but I don’t want to be driving into London. I prefer driving away from town - Essex Herts south Suffolk or North Kent.

I regularly get messages and likes from men in Scotland, Newcastle, the North West even though my profile does state only really looking within an hours drive.

@SamW98 Yes I think it’s just down to population density in London, I’m outskirts of Oxen, ( which probably is an hour from London), but don’t want to go there! ,people don’t think.

@NervesOfCotton 😞Eww, the penis-tongue, ram-it-in kissing technique.
A man who hasn't learned to use his lips or won't take instruction is a poor prospect. Boob-groping on the first date seems very disrespectful, unless things are mutually hot & steamy. Bold/underline 'mutually'. Did he not notice that you weren't into it?

seishonagon Nope he seemingly had no idea, I mean I guess he could have thought that I was into the kiss as I was trying to make it work but I dunno. He made a grab for me again & I said 'I've got to go' & reached for the door handle. I stayed holding it open as he said thanks for the evening etc just because my Spidey senses were telling me to get out, but it was almost like a switch back to 'lovely guy' again. He even jumped out, ran round & grabbed hold of the car door & pecked me on the cheek & said goodnight.

NervesOfCotton
Sorry to hear your date ended so badly after it seemed to be going so well.

NoDatingFor0ldMen
SamW98
I get a lot of likes from London as well. It's only an hour on the train. But London is a big day out for me, not a quick coffee date.

I also get the ones from Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool, Glasgow etc
Some say they're "looking for new friend", which I interpret as "looking for a sexting penpal". Either that or they haven't worked out their distance settings.

Will be looking out for Steve from Kent on tonights speed dating!

We'll still no contact from my Monday night date today either . I'm thinking I've been ghosted or usurped by a younger model .

Disappointed after all the chat and him saying he wanted to come up next week. He was really keen , date went well, talked to me Tuesday, went quiet weds and nothing today either 🤷‍♀️

I aren't chasing him . His loss .

Thank you NellyTheCake I'm doing speed dating tonight too! Fight you for them

I was chatting to one on Bumble yesterday daytime, he seemed nice enough, a bit 'Look on the worst side'. I told him I was busy last night. Came home to 5 messages asking if I could just talk to him & that he's lonely & needs a friend & needs me to care!
I mean, I feel sorry for him but that's hardly attractive is it!

Sorry capabilityfrowns It's crappy when they do that, isn't it.