Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Having a nice little chat today with a new match until he asked ‘do you want to know what attracted me to your profile?’ So obviously I said yes and his reply ‘your fantastic bobbies’

Not sure what’s worse - the fact he thinks that’s a compliment or the fact a middle aged man says ‘boobies’

Either way - conversation over 🤦‍♀️

Im with you - babe, gorgeous, sexy, hun - all in the deleted folder 🤣🤣

Yes it's nornal to have a few who don't chat weirdly, i also believe that men'll swile right on anyone whike women do it only when a bit more interested

I've paid for tinder & bumble in the past. It can be useful to see likes because it gives you a bit of time to think about whether or not you want to match.

But I would say about 99% were rejected because they were too far away. 100s of miles away in some cases.

I did bumble speed dating last night
Got 3 matches. 1 is a bit far away but seems keen. 1 called me yummy, so he's out.
The last one lives about 5miles away. But his ex lives a few roads away from me! I don't know her but this could be awkward if it goes any further.

Hi forgive me if im in the wrong place but new to OLD dating after my long term relationship ended a while ago.

Just curious what dating sites people are on ?
Is Hinge , Match or Eharmony worth the money?

Or is tinder , bumble worth joining for free ??

At the moment I'm on hinge free just joined some better looking nicer men on there and for context I'm not looking for a hook up just looking for something meaningful

.I know they are all pretty crap just wonderd if anyone has any recommendations .
Thanks

@NellyTheCake that’s interesting. Even if you did date the local guy, you’d hardly see his ex. I wouldn’t overthink it - thinking how often I see my neighbours 😂

I have date three this week, but had been interviewed for a job where he works before we had started talking. Have a second interview lined up and if I got it, would be in the same office and his ex 😂

@cherrytree23 I use free Hinge and started with Bumble this weekend. Like them both, but you still get the chancers etc (sometimes hard to spot!).

Have fun!

@cherrytree23 I've paid for them all at one point. With Bumble you sometimes get a day offer for 1.99. With match, 4 99 for a month. Tbh i used to get 1000s of likes on Tinder, POF and OkCupid, hundreds in Bumble and about 30 max on Hinge! But pretty much all were too far or just not compatible/sleazy. I think now if you like them, you'd swipe, regardless if you knew they swiped on you.

LittleFloatingGhost
I think he's more worried than me about the close proximity to his ex.

Good luck with your job interview and date 3. Could potentially be awkward with his ex 😬?

Loopylooni
I think now if you like them, you'd swipe, regardless if you knew they swiped on you.

I used to think that, but I've had likes appear on tinder that were local and I've not seen them to swipe on.
Also local man I matched with on bumble speed dating had never seen me & I'd not seen him before.

cherrytree23
It depends very much on your age and location.
There's hardly anyone on hinge around me. Tinder seems to work best, but bumble has improved recently.
Match was a waste of money. But other people have been successful.
You have to try them & see.

Well another day another perv lol

Matched on bumble and he lives pretty close so I send a nice friendly breezy message and he replies within minutes saying lovely introduction. A few messages then I say I’m leaving to go to work and let’s chat a bit later.

And then he replies he’s got a day off so he’s still in bed. But he’s looking at my photos and it’s keeping him busy in his words ‘think you know what I mean’ followed by a photo of himself in bed in his boxers

Dear God why?? I’m starting to wonder if I’ve got an invisible perv magnet that draws them to me.

@cherrytree23

Hinge has been a waste of time for me. Bumble is ok but only use the free app and after a few days they’ll usually send you a half price offer.

Im over 50 so use Ourtime/Match and quite frankly it’s dreadful. Full of men who look my dads age but claim to be 55.

Ive just joined FB dating. A few matches but nothing too exciting as yet.

I have blocked Mr Coffee “bedtime and cuddles xxxx”

Is it just where I am or does every single man on Hinge spend their Sunday going for a long walk followed by a roast in a country pub?

Do any of you message your Suitors first or do you sit back and let them be hunters?

As for me, if I really fancy him, I message. Life's too short.

Always message first on Bumble because we have to.

If I really feel attracted to someone I’ll message first on other sites too.

I never approach men in the outside world. I’ve just never had the confidence to do it.

cassiatwenty I'm on an 'Anybody can message anybody site, as well as Bumble, & I'll message first. Why not!

Although I have been told off for it before & told it makes the woman look 'Simply desperate' ... By a man who then sent me 6 more messages apologizing & begging me to talk to him. Nope!

@SamW98 and @NervesOfCotton I completely forgot Bumble, I just realised. I don't use it because when I tried it, I had some bad experiences despite their credo of being women friendly and Be Kind and all that.

@SamW98 I'm sorry you dealt with such a man, as well as @NervesOfCotton, you both are both interesting and funny people so it's a tad annoying you deal with such rude/mean behaviour

Thank you cassiatwenty That's kind of you. I'm sorry you've had some bad times too.

Now that I've been on both for a while, I'll say, just for myself I've found that there are plenty of sex obsessed on Bumble but on the free site there's plenty of sex obsessed AND a whole load of nasty, cruel, women-hating men as well.

hello all - am i allowed to join please?
Ive just started dipping my toe back into the world of dating after a lengthy absence to sort myself out - it would be helpful to have some support!

I have been to a few singles events, but i will be starting online soon too - its been helpful to read all your experiences of the sites!

Welcome MrsDaniFilth Don't let us put you off, it's not all negative

@NervesOfCotton Ah thank you! No I am feeling very positive actually! Looking forward to it :)

Appreciate the welcome 🙂

@cassiatwenty

Thank you. I do always get told by men I chat to I’m easy to talk to, funny and I crack them up. But I don’t want to discuss my breasts or have phone sex after 2 days of messaging and that’s more important to most of the OLD idiots.

The sad thing is now almost as soon as i exchange a couple of messages with a guy I’m already waiting for the sexual stuff to start.

Right, so I've been on Bumble nearly 2 weeks now and so far, I've had 3 dates. Two wanted to see me again, but I didn't want to see them again. One I did want to see again, ghosted me 😱🤣 at the age of 46! (Him).
I've been chatting to a few who didn't float my boat at all, and so I was honest and told them. Last night, I started chatting to a guy and we spent all evening bantering and flirting. We really got on, and we both made each other laugh. We left it to go to bed, with him saying he thinks we could have some fun together. I've woken up and he's deleted me!! Or come off the app. It's very up and down isn't it!

I've had that @bethatgirl - I just assume married/in relationships/ working away and killing time

@bethatgirl

Think we’ve all experienced similar and then I’ve had them try and match with me in other sites 🤷‍♀️

3 dates in 2 weeks is amazing. I’ve had 5 in 10 months 🤣