Page 23 | Dating Thread 243

VenturingOut80 · 2023-09-27T07:55:47+00:00

The Rules: 1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

SamW98 · 21/10/2023 13:27

IDriveMySupernova · 20/10/2023 18:42

I have a dating etiquette question. I recently plunged back into Bumble and got chatting to someone who seemed nice. We messaged back and forth for about an hour. He said he was going to bed, that it had been very nice chatting to me and let’s do it again sometime. I said yes, let’s chat again. It’s been a few days and I haven’t heard from him. Should I message him or was it a brush off?

Personally I’d send a light and simple message along lines of ‘hey how are you what you up to the weekend?’ and see if that triggers a response. At least you’ll know one way or the other.

Personally I ignore the so called rules. The 3 days let them message first etc - if you like him try and spark the chat back up. He’ll either respond or not but there’s nothing to lose imo. But if he doesn’t respond - move on

IDriveMySupernova · 21/10/2023 13:57

Ok, thank you, I’ll send him a message. If he doesn’t respond I’m going to delete my account and sign back up again to try to find the one I accidentally swiped left on!

Bowbobobo · 21/10/2023 16:24

Reported

harerunner · 21/10/2023 20:29

I got 500 likes within 24 hours of signing up but I’ve been through most of them now and the only people I’ve liked out of any of them are the two I’ve mentioned, so I’m feeling a bit disheartened.

2 decent ones out of 500?! Either you're extremely picky or the standard of men must be abysmal!

harerunner · 21/10/2023 20:30

harerunner · 21/10/2023 20:29

I got 500 likes within 24 hours of signing up but I’ve been through most of them now and the only people I’ve liked out of any of them are the two I’ve mentioned, so I’m feeling a bit disheartened.

2 decent ones out of 500?! Either you're extremely picky or the standard of men must be abysmal!

Either that or most of them are many miles away...

cassiatwenty · 21/10/2023 22:36

Wishing everyone on this thread good luck with potential irons and dates 🤞 May weekend vibes be on your side

IDriveMySupernova · 21/10/2023 23:14

harerunner · 21/10/2023 20:29

I got 500 likes within 24 hours of signing up but I’ve been through most of them now and the only people I’ve liked out of any of them are the two I’ve mentioned, so I’m feeling a bit disheartened.

2 decent ones out of 500?! Either you're extremely picky or the standard of men must be abysmal!

Definitely the former and a bit of the latter. I think I’m looking for somebody who doesn’t exist.

IDriveMySupernova · 21/10/2023 23:19

I didn’t end up sending the message. I’ve started again now so I can try to find the one I accidentally swiped left on. It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack 😳

cassiatwenty · 21/10/2023 23:31

I know the feeling @IDriveMySupernova

I didn't start again but just at times when it's not fun I definitely thought about taking a break

LittleFloatingGhost · 22/10/2023 08:04

I joined Bumble last night. Saw a few familiar profiles from Hinge, but loads I haven’t seen before.

Matched with a few, but unmatched some this morning without my wine eyes 😂

IDriveMySupernova · 22/10/2023 09:14

Matched with a few, but unmatched some this morning without my wine eyes

I’ve matched with a few overnight. There seems to be different men to when I joined before.

IDriveMySupernova · 22/10/2023 15:10

I cannot find this guy to save my life. It doesn’t help that I’m in a city and he’s in a town 20 miles away. It would be quicker just to drive to his town with a flask of coffee and set up a swiping base.

SamW98 · 22/10/2023 15:28

LittleFloatingGhost · 22/10/2023 08:04

I joined Bumble last night. Saw a few familiar profiles from Hinge, but loads I haven’t seen before.

Matched with a few, but unmatched some this morning without my wine eyes 😂

Think we’ve all swiped with wine goggles on and when we look at the match we think 🤷‍♀️

Janinejones · 22/10/2023 17:19

Earlier in the week I was nervous about whether Ms NewFriend would come on the date we had planned. We had met for drinks, lunch walks etc . Very pleased to say that it has been a super weekend. We stayed at a nice hotel, delicious food at various places. A good walk in the warm sun at lunchtime today. Now home with pot of tea and memories.

WtP · 22/10/2023 17:49

Janinejones · 22/10/2023 17:19

Earlier in the week I was nervous about whether Ms NewFriend would come on the date we had planned. We had met for drinks, lunch walks etc . Very pleased to say that it has been a super weekend. We stayed at a nice hotel, delicious food at various places. A good walk in the warm sun at lunchtime today. Now home with pot of tea and memories.

That sounds like quite possibly the perfect weekend for you 😊
Lets hope this continues.

Itssnotunusual · 22/10/2023 18:35

I'm at a bit of a crossroads mentally. A couple of weeks ago Mr Analogue and I made it 'official' after a lovely night out together, followed by a single night in my parents holiday cottage.

As I've mentioned a while ago on the previous thread, he's been super cautious about things getting too serious. He has big reservations about my little boy, he's single and in his mid 30s and a think quite used to living life on his own terms.

He sent a screenshot of a message that's painted him in a really bad light. It's a message from a woman he's 'told off' for not managing her toddler well in a semi public place (it was sent to his business page, he was there in a work capacity). As someone who owns my own very unruly toddler I think this is a red flag for compatibility in that respect. He's expressed a bit of wariness and, I guess, unfamiliarity about kids previously. To be entirely honest, it's given me the ick. I really like him in pretty much every other way but this is definitely one thing I don't think I'll get past. I'm disappointed because I've really enjoyed spending time with him.

I don't know whether to being this up first or just break things off

Myfabby · 22/10/2023 21:13

Itssnotunusual · 22/10/2023 18:35

I'm at a bit of a crossroads mentally. A couple of weeks ago Mr Analogue and I made it 'official' after a lovely night out together, followed by a single night in my parents holiday cottage.

As I've mentioned a while ago on the previous thread, he's been super cautious about things getting too serious. He has big reservations about my little boy, he's single and in his mid 30s and a think quite used to living life on his own terms.

He sent a screenshot of a message that's painted him in a really bad light. It's a message from a woman he's 'told off' for not managing her toddler well in a semi public place (it was sent to his business page, he was there in a work capacity). As someone who owns my own very unruly toddler I think this is a red flag for compatibility in that respect. He's expressed a bit of wariness and, I guess, unfamiliarity about kids previously. To be entirely honest, it's given me the ick. I really like him in pretty much every other way but this is definitely one thing I don't think I'll get past. I'm disappointed because I've really enjoyed spending time with him.

I don't know whether to being this up first or just break things off

In what context did he send it- Disagreeing with the feedback? Sharing his side of the story?

I think it's odd for him to be correcting random people's parenting unless of course it was a massive health and safety issue.

Do you see this going long term? because yes he doesn't have to be step dad, but if he ideally doesn't want to date someone with children, there is no long term compatibility

Janinejones · 22/10/2023 21:44

@WtP , thanks, yes it was extremely romantic. It does look good for the future.
Also I have had a PM from someone who wants to chat. Early night coming up and enjoying the memories.

Backagain2 · 22/10/2023 22:09

@Itssnotunusual I’m also curious about the context. Was the toddler doing something that risked their/others safety? Disturbing other customers?

I remember a dad ignoring his daughter kick her legs about in this tiny sweet shop. I was just waiting for an accident to happen and it did. Big jar of sweets crashed down and Smashed thankfully didn’t harm any of the kids I was with or anyone else. I didn’t say anything but I did give him a bit of a frosty look as neither him nor his daughter apologised 😂

I think the main issue is that he isn’t keen on dating someone with kids . Of course he may end up liking the fact you have a child and really getting on with your son to the point of actually wanting to play a step parent role , but more likely he will continue to see it as somewhat negative and that’s not fair on anyone involved especially your child.

I was always reluctant to date men with kids for various reasons so I just don’t as I feel it’s something you should go into positively or not at all.

LittleFloatingGhost · 22/10/2023 22:24

Hey, so getting used to Bumble…

what’s normal for the amount of likes you get?

when matched with someone, I have messaged then heard nothing from a few - which is a bit “why bother?” 😂

Is it worth paying the money?

for context I am in a large city, seems to be loads of men on there.

IDriveMySupernova · 22/10/2023 22:34

LittleFloatingGhost · 22/10/2023 22:24

Hey, so getting used to Bumble…

what’s normal for the amount of likes you get?

when matched with someone, I have messaged then heard nothing from a few - which is a bit “why bother?” 😂

Is it worth paying the money?

for context I am in a large city, seems to be loads of men on there.

There isn’t really a normal. If someone has liked you and you swipe left, it takes them out of your ‘stack’ so the number goes down. I did a few swipes then left it for a day and opened to find 500+ but some of them will have no doubt been out of my geographical and age ranges.

I’ve had quite a few matches who don’t reply. I asked my friend about it today who has been using it much longer than I have and she said it happens to her all the time, really common. But equally I’ve matched with people and not bothered to message them so…

I don’t think it’s worth paying the money personally unless you’ve got money to burn. Going premium allows you to see all your likes and browse incognito, which is nice but not worth £11 a week or whatever it is IMHO.

IDriveMySupernova · 22/10/2023 22:40

I’ve hardly got any likes now as I’ve swiped left on just about everyone within a 60 km radius trying to (unsuccessfully) find this guy I accidentally swiped left on 😳

LittleFloatingGhost · 22/10/2023 22:53

Thanks. I made my profile about 1/2am and had over 100 likes by the time I woke up. It’s a lot more than that now.

I also got swipe happy and now can’t like for 24 hours 😂

Have swapped numbers with someone but he calls me babe and goegeous 🤮🤮🤮🤮 think I’ll knock that on the head.

IDriveMySupernova · 22/10/2023 22:55

I knocked one on the head for using the phrase ‘a big bag of dicks’

NervesOfCotton · 22/10/2023 23:07

LittleFloatingGhost Hey fellow Bumbler!

Personally, I prefer paying. I like to see the ones who like me & also kept hitting the daily swipey limit & then it just felt a bit like 'Well I can't do anything now!'

But yeah, loads of matches who never chat. The one who told me that women barely have to Swipe right, also told me that his 'Friend' swipes Right on everybody & then choses who to chat to back.