Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

SamW I know! I had one at an hour & that was fine, but mine tend to run over into a few hours as well if they are going well, not that it changes the outcome overall

Sorry bethatgirl It does seem like he's cooled things off/ghosted, doesn't it, but it's definitely not you.

@Wessexguy @NoDatingFor0ldMen @SamW98 @JaneyClicks @Janinejones

Can I suggest that we look into dating each other in here as we all looking for the same thing it could work for some of us. Maybe start by listing our interest, what we looking for and so on. It’s all meeting online as the Apps. What do you all think?

I’m not saying it’s a bad idea per se but Rule 10 at the top of the thread covers this: no dating the thread. It’s there following a big Hoo-ha a few years ago. PMs on the other hand…

@Bowbobobo ah my didn’t read that 🙈, so we keep sharing and giving advice to each other

@Honeybu , I will join in and invite you to PM me.
That is allowed I think

I’ve spoken to Steve from Kent about a dozen times now

😂😂

Is he on this thread?
His username?

@Bowbobobo yup, a huge hooha! A couple met on the dating thread and seem to still be really happy yet people really slated him for being on mumsnet plus both for being sly when posting/flirting after they found out.

I suspect people were just jealous!

If you only went for a coffee yesterday, and you've messaged since, then I think it's a bit premature to assume you've been ghosted! It's easy to get jittery with the speed of someone's response... Having said that, you can generally get a sense from someone's messages and their frequency whether they're really in to you...

@harerunner well, he was a very frequent at messaging, maybe a bit too much, if I didn't message back straightaway he panicked about it, then we met, he did say I was still cute after lol, but I did get the impression he wasn't as interested, and then he just did t reply back at all! And he's been online loads. So I'm trusting my gut instinct. I blocked him but now feel it was a bit hasty, but I don't think he'd have ever messaged back 🙃

I suggest we start to break out of the rules such as Rule 10 to see if that makes for better results.

id happily seek better ways to meet someone.

It says 'don't date the thread' because a few years back there were a couple of instances of men messaging women on here asking for dates. And not taking no for an answer. Very creepy behaviour.

However, there have been meet ups arranged with groups of people from here. Friendly get togethers for drinks and a chat.
One couple did start dating as a result.

Personally I never understood that rule and it was before my time. How are any of the rules enforced anyhow? I see very few loo updates now😂

We're all adults and if you find love on mumsnet- why not? It's so rare to find someone with similar values, that you fancy etc. I'd absolutely take the chance if I were you. As long as its all respectful, and you're not on the thread clogging it up with sweet nothings😂haha!

I actually met someone from the extensions thread - we found out we were both going through builder drama literally 10 minutes from each other. It turned out not to be the same builder, after PM'ing each other and we had then had a few decent dates- however he then made it clear ( thankfully before we DTD) that he was dominant and a few other sexual kinks I could not get my head round. Otherwise, we're in touch on and off, and was going to set me on a blind date with a colleague of his but I then met someone.

My goodness. “those bricks are out of line in that wall” “I know right, how about a bit of throttling over by the cement mixer?” 😂😂

Yes, if he was like that then your instincts are probably right. However, messaging you panicky that you weren't replying quickly enough (esp when it seems you're a pretty quick responder anyway) would be a red flag to me. Anyone who shows such needy or insecure tendencies, especially so very early on, would likely be exhausting and toxic... you had a lucky escape!

Apart from the fact I'd have blocked him sooner for being super-needy, I'm not sure why you blocked though- what's to be gained in doing that if he's not messaging you? It's just possible there was a good reason given it's only be a day! You'll never know if there was now!

Very true. We live and learn x

Mr North has just messaged, having left me on unread since Saturday, but will know I've deleted as my pic will have disappeared 🤷‍♀️

Slothmomma He's playing it cool isn't he are you going to answer?

Yes @NervesOfCotton isn't he just 😄 no, don't see point in replying. His doing the unread etc has given me ick and made me think that my initial concerns were correct and I was being played in an attempt at an easy bunk up - which he didn't get

how does this sound then?

Old man seeking female, interests include crop rotation in the 14th Century.
non-smokers only.

I’m absolutely sure my inbox (no pun intended), will be bursting with responses

No I wouldn't bother either Slothmomma. Like you say, I'd take that as a sign that he's after what he can get (When it suits him)

Exactly my reaction, why do people do this?
If your not really interested just bloody say so. If your after a possible hook up say so.
But stop the stupid dance?
Perhaps its easy for me to say this as I seem to have been relatively lucky on OLD with only 1 person being a fruit loop.
Actually what am I saying I've been very lucky on OLD and MrsW is my world right now and I can't see it ever ending ❤

WtP Only one fruit loop! I've spoken to enough fruit loops to give everybody on the thread a bowl full of fruit loops

Also, the ending of your post is very sweet

The men are clearly getting their own back on (some of) the women only wanting tall men!

After being told I was 'Too short' the other day, there's now another profile that says 'No chatting unless you are over 5'10'.