Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Janinejones That sounds perfect to me! I hope it goes well.

Thisisworsethananticpated I go with just a bit of cleavage, I've only had some for the last 6 years since I got fat, so I like to show it off just a little

NoDatingFor0ldMen I've probably said this on here but I've had several short term relationships with men I met in RL, with men around my height.

Doing OLD, I go for 'A bit taller than me' so 5'5 & above, that said I've arranged dates before & then though 'Oh! I wonder how tall he is?!' So it's definitely not a deciding factor for me, but I know it is for some.

I don't mind a woman my height (I'm 5 11) or even slightly taller - might struggle if she's 6 feet 4.

@Thisisworsethananticpated , Sorry I thought I had said that I am Bi, looking for F+F.
Hoping to go for a walk, so def NO cleavage display.
Btw I am 5'8".

Hahaha....love this @Thisisworsethananticpated....a trusted formula 😄

Am so jealous of the tall ladies on here being 5'3 myself but have to say there is just something about stand up hugs from a tall man for me personally....

Argh just lost a lengthy post 🤦‍♀️

Quick update. Had good night Friday with Mr North and date lasted into early hours with us ending up in a club. Hes asked to see me again and I've agreed as think worth a second date however my spidey senses are tingling about something so staying alert and may not make it that far so we'll see.

In other news was out in city last night and got hit on by a guy in wild but after I'd called a cab to leave the club so literally a 5 min chat - and it didn't occur to me to offer my number until after we'd left and my friend asked if I had 🤦‍♀️😄

@Janinejones what does ‘F&F’ mean?

It's a few years ago, but I remember he messaged me first on POF and I liked the chat, he seemed genuine and interesting. I think he claimed he was 5'8. But his height wasn't really that relevant because he got my attention with a good profile and good messages.

In person, he was very different. I might've overlooked the height difference but he was scruffy and moaned about everything.
Memorable because it's the only date I've used the "emergency friend phone call" to get away as quick as possible.

In general, I prefer taller men, otherwise I feel huge! But I wouldn't discount someone shorter. My last relationship was with someone slightly shorter than me.

It's just the difference between your expectation and reality when you first meet.
Like the ones who look nothing like their photos, so you can't even recognise them.

I went on two first dates via OLD where no mention had been made of height, I just liked the chat and off I went. Both were 6'2". I'm 5'8" so very unused to men that much taller than me. My goodness, I swooned, it was physical! However they were both just flings in the end. Later I met my DP on OLD. He is, at a push, 5'8.5" and a really lovely man. I would possibly have passed him over if he had put his actual height on the app. Now I actively like him being the same height as me, it's just another way in which it feels like a very equal partnership.

Men lying about something so immutable just seems rather sad but I do understand where it's coming from.

Yeah I think it’s quite silly, I’ve heard plenty of women do this not only OLD but on reality shows etc or just talking to friends some will say the man has to be 6ft minimum. I can kind of get it when the woman is tall herself but most the women saying this will be like my height and smaller - I’m 5ft 2! It’s considered far less socially acceptable for men to say for eg. She has to be a size 8.

Mr R is 6ft 3 but if he was under 5ft 8 I’d still have liked him.

It’s not very common for a man to reject a woman based on being too short, but I guess most men aren’t anywhere near 6ft 5!

I agree no one should be lying about their height though.

Slothmomma · Today 12:21

love a real life actual flirt !
listen to spider 🕷 senses on new iron

I’m a rare person in that height isn’t that big a deal for me

i remeber I showed my friend (also dating ) A pic of someone I was seeing and said he was short and fat 🙈 😂

Wow is she still your friend?? That's not very nice

I'm definitely attracted to taller. I'm 5'10. And lying about height - which is easily verifiable makes me wonder what else he may be lying about..

I’m also more attracted to men taller than me. Only most recent ex was a little shorter…

I never thought I had a type until OLD, but I really do - and I’m finding I am a stickler for it too. Lol.

It's a funny thing is height, I guess one of the few things I have in my favour is height as I'm 6'3" (always wanted to be 6'5")
I have mostly dated and also married a women over 5'9".
But in my youth dated a few in the 5'3" zone.
If I'm honest I do like a tall woman as it just makes "things" easier?

But I do think we all are probably guilty of cutting out a lot of people that would suit us in a relationship purely on the height criteria?

I've never been too fussed about height as I've said previously (my ex dh was shorter). The guy I met out last night was asking how tall I was and seemed happy I am tall as he was 6' 3" 😅

LuckyLinda I'm 5'4, the one I had dates with the other week was 6'4, tallest I've dated. He did spend a lot of time perching on walls whilst we were chatting, which evened up our height, but I wondered if he had a neck-ache by the end after our full-height snogs

My 'Wish list' pretty much changes daily on OLD (So that's probably a good thing as I have more options! The whole thing goes out the window if there's one with an extra cute smile but ticks none of the other boxes

I know the feeling @NervesOfCotton

Hello, an update. We met we both looked 'right' I boast. In the restaurant we were noticed. We were observed. I think mostly in a kindly way. The two 20yr olds were pricing our clothes and checking for labels I think. (Not sure about the horse faced older one). I wonder when she last smiled?
We had a lovely walk for about 2 hours, in sunshine, some open some wooded.
We are going to a hotel next weekend.
Ooh! Cannot believe my luck!.

What does ‘looked right’ mean? What’s this about pricing clothes? I don’t understand. Are you going to a hotel to DTD?

In the morning before I went out I was in a bit of a state about what to wear for an important date.
When we were in the restaurant we attracted some attention. We were two women obviously on a date. We are both fairly tall. The restaurant was a busy Gastro Pub in a fashionable area. Think Cotswolds.
Two younger women were obviously talking about us and I think looking to see if we were up to the local standard. Have you never felt yourself under scrutiny in a new place.
We are planning to go away for the weekend.

Janinejones I thought you either meant the clothes you had chosen were right, or that the 2 of you looked right as a couple... Either answer is good!

I'm glad you had a lovely time

I’m just back after a brilliant girls weekend away in Norfolk at the soul weekend. After my holiday and a great weekend I’m really at stage where I don’t know if I can be arsed with OLD anymore.

Last couple of months really made me think why I’m putting myself through this and whether I’m really that bothered about meeting someone when actually I’m really doing well on my own.

@SamW98 that really is the most important thing, that you are happy in yourself and with your lot. I think that energy radiates from us when we are genuinely happy and it's a very attractive thing. What's for us won't pass us...hoping for good things for you.