Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Teacher again? Surely she’s even busier now the children are back at school? Have you spoken about anything like that or not yet?

Hi @LuckyLinda3 It's gone 10.00pm How are you?

Hi @Janinejones I'm fine thanks, relaxing alone in front of a nice fire!
We texted back and forth a few times earlier today but it didnt amount to anything significant. Although he is normally a good texter, once problems arise he goes quiet and then prefers face to face communication.
As other have said we need to talk and I'm in no immediate rush to make decisions. I want to see what he says if/when we meet. Thank you for your kindness.

Hi All
I have had a good evening, Two chats, one Text, other phone. Both possibles, neither probables. Therefore it is OK to have two irons running for now? Yes?
Ms NewFriend who I met a week ago at works/social was the phone call. She has told her teens DCs that she wants women and might be bring friends home. Might be sharing a bed.
I was very interested in the details of this as I intend to make similar confirmation to my two at weekend. They will be home together. We will meet on Sunday I think.
Txt chat was with lady I met at Stately Home on Sunday. She defo wants to be a friend. That will be fine with me. Really fine. I realised I have not made a new friend recently. She seems to have similar interests to me. I might not even try to get off with her.

Relaxing in front of a fire, how nice. I once tried writing a story that started like that.

Posted this on another thread but come on this is too mad not to share on here - and this is why I’m giving up 🤣🤣😂

Honestly I must have a subliminal message on my OLD profile saying ‘losers please contact me’

I just got this message - I swear this is a copy and paste of exact words

Hi Sam. Thought I’d send you a hello tho don’t know why I’m bothering because you will just not reply like all the other good looking women on here who think that being rude is normal. Prove me wrong

Seriously WTAF????

SamW I get loads like that. When I first joined up I used to answer them but, same as most of them, they just have nothing to say! They think

Hi
How r u?
What u up to?
(Disappear for 24 hours)
Then back with
U do much today?

Is gonna make u want to date them

Or this one who kept messaging me just one word. I had 'hot'. 'Sexy'. Fit'. 'Babe' over 4 days, then 'U wanna go on a date?' On day 5, so I said 'I might, if we chat a bit on here first?' He didn't answer that but came back later that day with 'Still single?' So I said 'Since this morning? Yeah'.

FFS.

I spilt my tea laughing at this. I have to say I would have been tempted to reply and say - 'go away'😂At least he admitted you're good looking!

Oh Gosh I remember some awful awful men. One profile said no one over 35 and size8/10. He was mid 50's with the most awful teeth, terrible double chin , big beer belly and all his photos were in front of the same filthy toothpaste residue streaked mirror in a grubby loo. I'm pretty sure he's still looking...

Well.....he got your attention 😆
And, as the men on here, have said, they struggle as well to get any replies.

But I think it's a big no to anyone who moans in their messages or profiles.

I saw one on tinder recently that was 4 paragraphs of moaning how women match and never reply or unmatch after a few messages.
I was tempted to match with him just to see what would happen.

So, not putting all my eggs in one basket this time.

Have several chats on the go, resulting in:

1. second date mr beer (tuesday)
2. first date mr holidays (tomorrow)
3. first date mr ball (Wednesday)
4. first date me doctor (two weeks on Wednesday)

didn’t end up paying for hinge.

Yeah I don't swipe on anyone negative in bios - not a good start

@LittleFloatingGhost looks like you've been productive 😁

I matched with someone yesterday who messaged first thing this morning and seems interesting. We're going to have a chat on phone tonight. He's asked if I'm free friday but I'm waiting for Mr onethatgotaway to confirm whether he can get childcare for Friday although he's seeming flaky again so I'll give till later tonight for him to confirm and if he doesn't will take new one up on offer if phone call goes OK.

Did hear from last week's date again saying he had a less busy week this week and would potentially be able to fit something in at end of week - that word potentially again - so I said I'd got plans Saturday (I do) and was waiting to confirm my arrangements for for Friday so would have to let him know whether I was potentially available- haven't heard since 😄

@Slothmomma Yes 😂

I wasn’t comfortable multi-dating before, but if anything progresses then I’ll make a decision.

It’s really unfortunate when people say negative things. They might not even realise how they come across, and they’re just writing on their profile things they should be writing here or Reddit or some car forum or wherever.

But they all get a swipe left from me. If they don’t have the sensitivity to enquire about what does and doesn’t land well on a dating site, that means they don’t have a quality that I find attractive. But still…..my heart does go out to them.

Mr onethatgotaway did flake and asked for raincheck as not well - so have said yes to new iron, who i will name Mr North 😁 have chatted with him and am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow for a few drinks in town. Will let you know how it goes 😁

“And, as the men on here, have said, they struggle as well to get any replies.”

I think I probably said a few times, compared to the number likes, messages, chats women seem to get it was like tumbleweed for me and really did a number on my MH.

Looking forward to your update @Slothmomma 😀

I didn't use OLD yet, I had a long break so I'm a bit excited and nervous, last time I did use it it wasn't that bad, though I did avoid a lot of red flags and things I learned about myself I don't like.

This weekend then? Or maybe next week? It's important to stop if it's not fun.

A bit surprised reading NoCountry's update, I had no idea it was that difficult for men.

For me, I will admit I put my eggs in one basket simply because talking to many different guys at once wears me out quickly though I do agree it's sensible not to do it.

cassiatwenty I go through stages on Bumble & the Free dating site, of being completely ignored by everybody I message/match with, which does get me down at times, & having loads of chats at once, so I take them when I get them now tbh... I do find it difficult multi-chatting though & read back a lot to check who has told me what

Slothmomma Brilliant! Have a lovely date today

LittleFloatingGhost Happy date day to you as well

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife There's a forum on my dating site & men often come & ask us to look at their profile, 99% of the time they are full of paragraphs of 'Women should/shouldn't do/be like this'.
They don't take it well when we try & suggest that's not so great though, 90% of them say 'If you weren't all like that, we wouldn't have to write it' or 'What do you all know anyway'

@cassiatwenty I only dated one guy from June, that ended as he ghosted me (and communication was patchy) and mentally it was a struggle - first time dipping toe in after a long relationship.

So, taking a different approach. I have paused my profile for now as there’s a lot in the basket.

@NervesOfCotton which is the dating site with a forum? I like the sound of that!

@cassiatwenty not sure about your age range, as an older man (50 + ), I was generally , ignored, very few matches, very few opening meetings and very few responses.

with the assistant of ladies on the forum last year I had profile reviewed and pictures checked, that helped slightly, but not much

I saw on another dating thread a bloke said if you are male under 5ft 8 don’t even bother and if you are over 45 don’t bother & I would generally agree with that.

my inbox was mostly empty all the time and lead to huge self esteem and self confidence issues for me,

I know I’ve said this before, but for “most” (older ) men OLD is an absolute waste of time (and possibly money), that will probably do you more harm than good

NoDatingFor0ldMen Not that it helps you, but I'm currently going through a stage of dating/chatting to 45-52's (as the lower end of the 40's are still living like they are in their early 20's!)

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife It's just called Free Dating, I've not had any dates from there for a few months though, I think anybody half decent has left

@NoDatingFor0ldMen
Last night I decided to have a look at POF again.

I went through about 10 pages of profiles and couldn't find a single one that I would want to message. I would say about 90% of them have been on POF for years, still using the same photos (I'm cursed with a photographic memory for pictures).
And I've probably sent a message to all of them in the past & been ignored.

The rest either were negative about women in their profile or were clearly just after sex.

If there were any decent men on there, then they were lost in the sea.

But what I don't understand is, the men I see on POF year after year, are nearly always online. Who are they chatting to? Or are they just looking at profiles?
Because they are all ignoring me?

NellyTheCake Not POF but mine shows if people are 'Online' or not.
Sometimes if I'm at home I'll have my profile open so I'm obviously showing as 'Online', but I'm not actually doing anything on their at that time, if that makes sense? I'm doing something else & just refresh it so I'm shown as 'Online now' every few mins in case anybody amazing wants to message me (ha)

I did it when I was round my mum's the other night, so I was 'Online' all evening, but I wasn't doing anything 'on' there.

Agree re the same photos, Now I've been doing this a few years (gulp!) The amount of men who still have the same one headshot is huge.

I thought I was a being cheeky because I have been messaging two possibles but @LittleFloatingGhost has beat me. I hope they all come off and you get some fun from them.
My lady from the Stately home walk is going to meet me this evening after her office hours. Drinks, chat and maybe a meal.

On Sunday Ms NewFriend and I going to have lunch at smart restaurant. I am really looking forward to that.
Tomorrow I have to set out to kids that I am dating again. Might well be with a woman.