What has a guy done that instantly made you lose interest?

[LusaBatoosa]

The ones that spring to mind:

• Thought Jordan Peterson 'had some interesting ideas.
• Used 'female' as a noun.
• Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.
• Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practicaly unintelligible messages.
• Said he 'wasn't a reader'
• Was a picky eater.
• Was teetotal.
• Was religious.
• Wore a chain.
• Didn't drink water.

The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I'm fairly unreasonable. I'm very happy I met my husband. 🤣

First date (and only cos he put me right off) turned out to be the living embodiment of an ick
shorter than claimed
obviously insolvent
dirty
late
bitched about his ex
made comments about women preferring Netflix and cats
i could go on but I and getting ick trauma just typing this

And you married him ?

A nice pair of tight boxers! I was 20 I know it seems silly now, but they remind me of budgie smugglers.

I've been turned off instantly by being told "I love you" far too soon and I was no where near that point. I ended it the next day. We were only young, it was my first break-up.

Another man who was far too keen and talking about the future as though it was a certainty together whilst on our second date. I just felt as though I didn't have any say in my future. We went on a handful more dates, I hoped he was perhaps just a little overexcited, and then ended it.

Another who told me he had split up with his girlfriend - he had not. I was only young and felt as though he was the love of my life. I ended it the moment I found out.

A date who turned up wearing an outfit very similar to the photo my sister had of her now ex but at the time her boyfriend and whom I despised. He (the date) was a lovely man, perfect in every way and absolutely the polar opposite to my sister's ex in all respects including physically except the outfit but I just couldn't unsee the outfit. I dated him for a little while trying to shift the image and he didn't wear anything similar again (I never said anything to him about the outfit) but I just couldn't get past it. I was devastated when I decided to stop dating him, I actually cried all the way home after our last date as I knew I had to end it. It took me a long time to get over him and I still wonder if I made a mistake.

A man who overshared far too early. It was our first date and I felt like his therapist. I never saw him again.

No, I was just being dramatic.

I don't have time to get or lose interest, it just happens.

Nothing wrong with going half half. We did on our first date!

Good for you. If that’s what floats your boat, I’m certainly not trying to stop you.

This was all the same guy?! You poor thing!

🤣🤣🤣

I am just curious why the expectation that the guy should pay?

Have a read of op's other posts. She's taken the time to explain it very well.

And also why are some people acting as if traditionally men are not expected to pay? Is this really the first time they’re hearing of this?
Sure, a lot of women will happily go halves or even pay for the whole first date, but there’s definitely a well known tradition across most cultures that persists into the current day of men picking up the bills. Many many women of all ages still expect this. Nothing strange or unusual in that expectation.

On two occasions I’ve got the ick when men have been too “vulnerable”.
Man one broke down about being still upset about his ex-partner and oh by the way I’m an alcoholic
Second one all these MH issues and then cried
Killed any sexual desire instantly.

I've been turned off instantly by being told "I love you" far too soon and I was no where near that point. I ended it the next day. We were only young, it was my first break-up.

Ugh yeah I had one kind of whisper it to me AND add my name at the end , it was weeks in and it still makes me shudder a bit to think about.

Yes and within 30 mins. I left the minute I finished my drink

One guy I went on a date with took his jacket off and he had a belt with a massive chunky cowboy hat buckle and I immediately thought ‘no no no’

He then told me before I’d finished my first drink we were a perfect match before telling me he’s taken a long time out from dating after his engagement broke up. I asked when that was and he said ‘September’ this was in January - not what I’d call ‘taking a long time out’

He then proceeded to tell me they split up over her being a right moody cow because of the menopause and said he can’t bear moody menopausal women - he is 55 ffs

One wore perfume that I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to get close enough to kiss her

another had a really annoying laugh I couldn’t get past

and one who had clearly had a lot of work done and just looked plastic which hadn’t been obvious from photo’s

Got stupidly drunk on the first date and was falling over.
It instantly gave me the ick.
When he texted me to ask if I wanted another date, I said no and he sent me an essay off abuse. Apparently I was fat and ugly and he was only asking me out because he felt bad for me 😂
I dodged a definite bullet

I’ve also had the men who randomly come out with “I love you” just a few weeks in before they actually know me.

I’ve never been convinced so it’s always been a massive and immediate turn off as I tend to think they’re being manipulative/lying. Either that or they’re extremely co-dependent and are trying to artificially accelerate the pace of the relationship by throwing that out there.

Sent me a message calling me my baby girl after one date 🤮

Licked his knife when we went out for a pub meal on date #2. I knew he wasn't for the long haul but once he had done that ..............................!!!!🤢

You should write a book or a blog or something. If you did a compilation of yours, I would pay good money for it. 🤣

I went on a date once with a guy who loved the sound of his own voice. For example, he told me he was very original (his words) because he drank green tea. And then kept on looking at me hoping I would go wow or something?

He then whipped up his laptop and we spent around an hour looking at his holiday snaps from the past few years (most of them identical photos of one building from various angles, half of the photos included some ex of his). He was very disappointed to find out I have been to some of those places too (I may have got impatient at one point and told him at one point to maybe skip 100 of Sagrada Familia photos as I have seen it with my own eyes).

He was very annoyed when I was trying to say anything at all really, interrupting his monologue about his fascinating work (banking, he reminded me 5 times he was headhunted into his job) and also another intriguing thing about him was that he was learning a foreign language- when he found out I speak it fluently, he got a bit upset and told me I should not try to upstage him.
That was the first and last date we had.

Any kind of bad smell or cheap aftershave
sloppy, saliva overload kissing
too much exes chat
stingy
anger or serial killer vibes ( was at least one)
not bothered about your general safety
lazy
not ambitious in any way and not achieved anything ( living with parents, never been self-sufficient)
bitchy about friends and family
uber critical, except when it comes to themselves

my list is quite long and sums up 6 years of non stop online dating ! Goodness knows how I found my dh 😆

When should he stop paying for you? Are you not a feminist?