What has a guy done that instantly made you lose interest?

[LusaBatoosa]

The ones that spring to mind:

• Thought Jordan Peterson 'had some interesting ideas.
• Used 'female' as a noun.
• Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.
• Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practicaly unintelligible messages.
• Said he 'wasn't a reader'
• Was a picky eater.
• Was teetotal.
• Was religious.
• Wore a chain.
• Didn't drink water.

The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I'm fairly unreasonable. I'm very happy I met my husband. 🤣

Eugh, I remember a similar turn off. Having made it clear I wasn't interested he insisted I see the view from his house. For some stupid reason I said "ok". It was a nice house et cetera. Then when I went to leave, he lay down on his bed and patted the space beside him. Eugh. I just whatsappef my friend my location. Then set out to eslk to a nearby pub where I coukd get a taxi home. I felt so scared of my own poor judgement. Shudder.

no one person but several:

flirting with other females
telling me what I have to do, criticizing me
boring
no hobbies
no profession, no vocation, had 100 jobs, never managed to keep one
conservative (in everything, including gender roles)
interested in conspiracy theories
huge flabby bum
flaccid cock
dirty shoes
too much talk about exes
racist and/ or antisemitic

Is it really unpleasant though @Sushi4Dins ? I can understand it personally. He isn’t a gamer, but if he were, and started wanting to game in the evenings instead of doing something we both enjoyed and could do together I’d feel a bit put out. And if I tried to show an interest and talk to him and ask questions about his game and he was like “ugh please can you just let me play” I’d probably feel a bit hurt. If we were on holiday and he was gaming alone instead of interacting with our friends I’d think he was being antisocial too! I’d definitely read more if I was in a relationship with another reader but as it is it’s all about finding a balance between our own interests and things we can do together.

Sorry OP, gone a bit off topic!

I remember being on a date that was going perfectly. I found him really attractive, he seemed lovely, we were getting on well…Got to the end of the night and there was a really long wait for a taxi home and it was pouring with rain and freezing so he suggested walking the 5 minutes to his house and waiting for the taxi there. I looked over at him as we were walking and something about the way he was hunched up and shivering left me cold. Told myself I was being mean and forced myself to overlook it. Fancied him again once we got in the house, then I went to the loo. The bit behind the seat was covered in dried wee, there were pubes and nail clippings absolutely carpeting the floor. I never saw him again.

I asked DH what would make him regret going on a date.

He said if the woman was over a size 10 or had a degree from a modern university, which seems fair enough.

He finds it rude/offensive if I just want to be left alone to read. He doesn’t see it as a worthwhile way to spend time so if I spend time reading I’m “sat around doing nothing” whereas if he’s doing one of his hobbies then he’s doing something with his time because his hobbies are more active.

This is unpleasant, yes.

• He doesn’t think you are entitled to time to yourself to do something you enjoy.
• He thinks the things he enjoys are intrinsically more valuable due to an arbitrary metric he has created.
• Presumably the things he enjoys don’t all involve you doing them together, but he gets his solo time for them?
• He thinks he’s entitled to tell you what is and is not a worthwhile use of your time.

Too many to mention. Ha ha ha, just realised this is why I am soooo happily single. Seriously, though, biggest turn off is a tight arse.

Im a woman and i freeze bread, cos its usually expensive loaf, waste not..also i buy snacks outside cinema because cinema so expensive anyway..unless DGS with me and he wants popcorn etc, even then i always buy chocolate outside cinema.

I never drink and my boss told me it was weird and people would think I was a recovering alcoholic.

Wow. You’re a bit stingy OP!

My husband has never let me pay half, or anything, ever. But come on 🤣

My friend fancied a guy for ages, months, and another friend and I had all the angst from April up to Christmas when he finally asked her out.

After about three or four dates he took her to his local (more correctly she took him, she was the driver and doesn't drink alcohol ever). Sitting having a drink and chat he pointed out a group of women: "See them? Shagged 'em all."

He'd already taken her home - he lived with his family - and she met the grandad asleep on the sofa in his underpants so she shouldn't have been surprised.

She then discovered he wore a pendant with a naked woman on a swing. He said he was going to get another one with a man so then "it'll look like they're shagging."

She dropped him off at home and said that was it and he burst into tears and said he loved her!

I was chatting to a bloke from OLD who was quite attractive and we got on really well.
He started sending me selfies several times a day ‘me driving to work’ ‘me at the gym’ ‘me laying on my bed’ which then turned into ‘me just got out bath with towel just about covering my tackle’ then asked if I wanted him to move the towel. I was cringing by now so said ‘no thanks I’m good’
Then next day he told me he was going on a sunbed ready for our date on Friday . An hour later he sent me a photo of his legs and said ‘can you see how brown they are?’ I was at work, barely glanced and just said ‘yeah’. This seemed to upset him and he replied ‘I expected a better reaction than that. Is it hard to tell your boyfriend how much you like his brown legs?’

At that point my ick factor went from 0-100 and any attraction I had was gone.

I don't get the not paying half. If everyone felt the same no one else would go on a second date!

Oral sex that was so bad, it was actually painful. Then said how great he was at it. First and only time I’ve ever faked one.

I'm wearing them right now.

A foreign guy who spent half of the date complaining about 'the bloody immigrants ruining the country' was one of my 'favs'.

Also, a dude who after a few drinks went on and on about his ex and how amazing she was.

Called us an Uber…then got in the front and made me sit in the back. I felt like I was in a car with my dad!

Realising he had worn a throng on the beach tan lines ….. fuck that no way dumped

Women, on average, outearn men in their 20s, so should 20s women by paying for the dates?

Then pay half. Nobody is stopping you. You aren’t required to ‘get’ other people’s dating criteria.

It's very old fashioned, yet women who still want men to be old fashioned and pay for her meal don't want him to be old fashioned otherwise.

That’s between them, surely? If the men in question don’t like it, they can date other women.

@User135644 It depends. Are our hypothetical women intending to make lifestyle choices (for example remaining child free) that would maintain that advantage? Looking back if I out earned my partner I wouldn’t have minded splitting. In practice this never happened.

That being said just because a woman makes more in her 20’s it doesn’t mean that over her lifetime her earning potential won’t be less and that she won’t end up sacrificing her finances for family life. A great part of the pay gap is driven by the fact women take time out or have working hours restricted to raise families. Yet generally men with families don’t see the same kind of reduction in their earnings. I’m generalising, I realise this isn’t everyone but it is most. Ultimately, a man, paying for a few early dates is nothing compared to the sacrifices most women make.

I understand why some women prefer to pay. I just feel personally that it perpetuates the idea that we’ve already achieved equality to the disbenefit of women.

I find it hard to accept that a woman who wants to be treated specially (I.e. not as an equal) outside the office can then expect to be treated as an equal inside it.

To me, it’s an all-or-nothing deal, we’re on a par with each other, and don’t demand special treatment because of our sex, or we’re different and have to accept different treatment in all areas.

We shouldn’t be basing decisions on the average situation of other women, but on our own. If I’m earning far more than a man then I’d not want it expect him to subsidize me.

In exchange I expect to be judged at work on my own abilities, not on that of other members of my sex.

Spoke to me in a baby voice shudder