A thread for those of us who have realised our partners are not so bad after all....

[Janni]

..so we would like to practise being nicer to them! I managed a week without saying anything sarcastic or critical to DH.

This week I'm also trying to be more affectionate to him, rather than just hugging the kids!

I feel happier and the atmosphere at home is much better.

Finally managed to sit down with DH tonight - he's really stressed out with work. I'm afraid I did have a go at him about a few things, but we've sorted it out now and when this current work crisis ends, he's promised to work out a way to be able to work less in the near future.

He's convinced that the guy today is an absolute psycho who could do something like set the flat on fire if we made an official complaint against him. Sadly, DH thinks he is quite high up in this firm and was basically let down by his workers and chose to vent it all on DH who, because he is stressed, vented back. I just feel upset because he was charming to me on the phone yet this completely different character when crossed...

Weird times in the Janni household right now!

hope your all ok

well last night i chose calm time to talk to dp as i feel really tired of all my efforts being wasted

he is really stressed lots of bills not enough money bless him and i said it feels one way and ive had enough

he was really sorry and was really affectionate constantly worried i would leave

this morning he had ds so i can get out as due to ds chicken pox been stuck in so went shopping with my b day money bought some new clothes

even better clothes shop had sale all items 7 pound or less hooray got jeans top and trousers and went and got MORE shoes lol

so i dressed up and he said i looked sexy and was really affectionate today too

so it seems its been money worries on his mind men dont tend to share feelings sjust take it out on you

his now working a very long day but has tomorrow off so will let him rest and hopefully we will have enjoyable day all 3 of us

janni hope dh is feeling better now

hope every one else had good weekend and all ok? x

Hello girls!

janni my love what a truly horrible experience. Thinking of you.

Sorry I have been offline for a while, battling the demon depression. It has reared its hideous head again and I feel a bit lost. DH has been stellar with DD, but he struggles when I am down (can't blame him really its not too nice living with a misery guts!)
Anyway on the mend i hope.....

new challenge anyone? I am going to find out one thing interesting to me about my DHs work and try to incorporate it in a sensible conversation. Currently I'm guilty of the "oh that's nice dear" kind of response to his work-talk! . I will find this VERY hard as my DH has the most god awful boy type job ever (well to me anyway!!!) He loves his job and is hugely passionate about it, but i really struggle to find it interesting. I have huge respect for him and what he acheives, but its just so 'boys toys'!

anyone going to join me?
Also just out of interest how many of us are SAHM or working Mums? It would be interesting to see what our experiences are vis a vis time/work/stress etc and our attitudes to DH/DPs.

coo that was long- sorry!!

Bubblagirl just meant to say I hope alls well with you guys. My DH and i went through a horrible patch a while back and it took a lot of sorting out. It also turned out he was very stressed about money and the fact i was spending lots on the C Card . I just didn't realise we were in difficulties, so i gave him the card back and we have set specific limits on areas of our lives we need to spend money. Its actually helped us get a lot closer now as we are striving towards the same goals.
I hope you and DP can get to the bottom of it all and even if you have to tighten your belts, it might actually help you appreciate each other a bit more!
sending love and good money karma!

Hi all - will get back on this thread tomorrow.
Haven't seen DH to be either nice or nasty to him. He should be around tomorrow.

Hi all - will get back on this thread tomorrow.
Haven't seen DH to be either nice or nasty to him. He should be around tomorrow.

Hi ladies hope you are all well...disappeared for a while there so I could have a nag at dh!
Ap left after crashing our car recently which left me trying to juggle home, kids and work whilst dh carried serenely on as normal. Stress levels have been through the roof for me, but everything is calming down now, have found a new AP, am on top of work, just need to get a good nights sleep and will try and face dh with renewed appreciation on Wed. Have also realised having pil's for sun lunch every week is not good for our marriage... any suggestions on that one?

minkulus sorry to hear that you have been feeling down hope you are feeling better soon

managed to rearrange few bills today and we have budget shopped and living off food we already have instead of buying what we fancy lol

dp and myself getting on better ould be im feeling better so his not bugging me as much lol

i dont spend much we dont have c cards and i only buy what we need or browse a charity shop so his lucky really

i am sahm but have learnt to accept dp working hours and working away its only when im down i want him round more

im all up forthe work appreciation he lays wood flooring so can kind of appreciate until he talks of different types of wood and gloss and sanding lol

he did restore russian embassy and found that interesting

janni hope all is well and you see more of dh

ingles hope your ok hope all is looking up have no advise on the pil coming for dinner im afraid unless they eat in and you eat out lol

hope all have good day spk soon dp asleep on nights last night but has today off and is cooking me dinner later so will look forward to that x

hello ingles - sounds very stressful, let's hope things settle down with the help of your new AP.

Minkulus - so sorry you've been down. What helps you when you get like that? Good luck with the challenge, it's an interesting one!

Hi Bubbla and everyone else.

I won't have much to contribute on here for the next 10 days or so as DH is taking our older boys to Lanzarote and I'm staying home with DD.
I said he could He needs some sun and DD doesn't have a passport and is a terrible traveller. I'm going to go to my parents for a bit.

I'll be with you in spirit though and will pop in on the thread every now and then. xx

Janni,
hope all is well with you. Read your other thread and realised my challenge was a bit pants for you. Thinking of you and hope you have a good break with DD.

On a positive note i sat very still and did not glaze over when hubby started to tell me of his latest work.....He asked me if i really wanted to hear it etc and i was VERY convincing that it was hugely interesting and fabulous
One good side effect though was that we sat and had a chat for quite a while afterwards which was great.

One slightly personal/weird question, does anyone else get bad PMT and if so what helps? I have realised I keep getting the murderous feelings at around the same time each month and 'DOH' have only just put 2&2 together!
Speak to you all soon
Hang in there, love and hugs

Absolutely, the PMT thing is very real. will have a think and get back to you.

hope you have a relaxing time janni and hope dh and boys enjoy themselves

dp over in ireland working only for 2 days but we actually got time together last night if you know what i mean

i dont sufer with pmt as dont ovulate due to tabs im on but i did get bad pmt just found pre warning my dp that i was hormonal did the trick and just learnt to think before i speak and always made sure i had me time to relax in bath and get past it

hope all goes well for every one will write on fri when he comes back but will make sure i send him loving texts in between telling him i appreciate him x

Minkulus there was another thread recently about the PMT thing... One of the recommendations was taking Evening Primrose or Starflower Oil, apparently this helps. I can't claim to have tried it as yet though!

I do talk to DP quite a bit about work, as he's self employed and I do most of the invoicing.. (he's a plasterer now, no longer chef). That said, when he talks about different types of render or hovers beside building sites for a fraction too long (just to see what's going on apparently ), I do find myself switching off slightly.. But then he does the same when I bombard him with the minutiae of my day when he comes in from work

Minkulus - I suffer badly with PMY and, as Bubbla says, one of the most important things is to keep track of your cycle so that you are prepared. For me I'm worse a couple of days before my period. I might search out the PMT thread mentioned. Certainly Evening Primrose and Starflower Oil are recommended and there are dietary things you can do eg cut back on refined sugar and alcohol (yawn) and eat little and often to keep your blood sugar level.

So, I'm on my own with DD now, which is fine.
Will check in regularly.

Good luck everyone x

That should say PMT, of course.

Not premenstrual yodelling

I indulge in a bit of PMY myself!

well dp will be back about 4 tomorrow morning he has made loads of effort while away

he left his phone in van on ferry and used his work mates phone to call me {never ever ever does things like that}

normally i just wouldnt hear from him until his done for the night i got a good night text and he phoned me this morning and told me i was beautiful

i di say what have you done lol but not in horrible way i said you aint gone off with no fit bird have you and he said no darling because your not here aawww

the chat the other day must have sunk in then hope it lasts

Bubblagirl - your man sounds like he really misses you when he's away.

Have we all given up?

I.m back Hooray my comp has packed up so just managed to get dp to get internet un blocked on my phone in his name so had to wait for him. Well ds is over chicken pox Hooray i went to doctors about my hair loss turns out my iron stores were non existant so have tablets now explains my tiredness and dp attitude has changed now he knows I.m not making it up ha ha he thought i was feeling ill too

I.m back Hooray my comp has packed up so just managed to get dp to get internet un blocked on my phone in his name so had to wait for him. Well ds is over chicken pox Hooray i went to doctors about my hair loss turns out my iron stores were non existant so have tablets now explains my tiredness and dp attitude has changed now he knows I.m not making it up ha ha he thought i was feeling ill too

Much and started getting cross with me telling me I.m depressing when he found out he felt so bad but I.m glad i have an answer energy is rising already anything from 100 and under is classed as low and mine was just 30 so very low. Hope every one else is ok I'll try and get on as often as i can find it complicated using phone for the net. X

Glad you are feeling better Bubbla, must be a relief to know that it was something easily treatable. Good to hear your ds is better too x

Thanks jrocks well dp is making more effort with me and I.m still making effort too. Managed a sneaky night of passion together although we both know it's not enough moments like this just lately so we are going to try and make more time together still shaving my legs ha ha hate using phone to chat on here it's so awkward. Money is still i problem but were both supporting each other instead of