A thread for those of us who have realised our partners are not so bad after all....

[Janni]

..so we would like to practise being nicer to them! I managed a week without saying anything sarcastic or critical to DH.

This week I'm also trying to be more affectionate to him, rather than just hugging the kids!

I feel happier and the atmosphere at home is much better.

I'm still around - still doing OK. Nothing much to report, I'm afraid . I think I need a new challenge - maybe this week I'll try saying more nice stuff to him, instead of just not being nasty, iyswim.

ooh can i join in?
we had bad year last year-dh wasnt so dear.but things have seemingly been clicking back into place gradually.

i would also like to join this one. i am such aperfectionist and a control freak it must feel to dh that he is never quite up to scratch, but bloody hell...he does so much for us, more than most people's partners.
This weekend I totally overdid the booze on a weekend visit to my sister's (think bellowing Meatloaf on karaoke and the next day i felt so crappy and he really looked after me and took the kids out while i had a kip. he never tried to make me feel bad for misbehaving (i don't think i could be as kind!) so i fully support the motion for affection towards one's partner.

it's really blardy hard having kids and making ends meet and keeping house and going to work ad infinitum...it seems like such a shame when we don't work as a team - like why are we fighting each other?

Welcome to the newbies. Set yourselves a specific challenge and report back!

Jackie - that's a good point. To be positive rather than just avoiding being negative, if that makes sense I really am trying to say 'I love you' more. Never heard it in my family of origin (not that I wasn't loved - it's just no one said it), so it's quite hard for me to come out with it.

Minkulus - we need photos, we need evidence Well done!

Yes I think about the others who wanted to join this thread. COME BACK!

ok - this week I am not going to undermine him infront of the children even if i think he is wrong. They ar his kids too and if he wants to discipline them, well, as long as he isn't whacking them one, so be it!

My partner is an absolute sweetheart, I never have to moan about him because he never does anything nasty, thoughtless or unkind. Not bragging, but I just felt he deserved a mention in your 'nice blokes' thread, bless him.

I'm still here

I've been doing okay, but have slipped slightly over this loooong weekend with a couple of digs. Although I accompanied him to a football game yesterday in the blardy freezing cold [saintly girlfriend emoticon] WITH his parents too

So on balance I think I'm still with the programme. I'm leaving him to his own devices for a few days tomorrow, taking DS to see my brother in Wales. Let's hope he misses us dreadfully

You're all doing very well...keep up the good work!

Littlewoman - Yeah - let's hear it for Littleman!

JRrocks - freezing weather + football + inlaws is qute a combo. We're not looking for perfection, just improvement - so you're doing great enjoy your time away!

what kind of challenge?

Janni - I'm only a bit evil RE relief over sick child ds is fine and it was a marginally more successful w/end in the end. Maybe next time it's a tricky w/end the felt tips will need to come out

Hope all's well with everyone else, I do still struggle (occasionally) with the not being nasty bit, but I think my challenge this week will be to be more physically affectionate to my DH (he may have the fright of his life!)

Good Luck and Good Weeks to you all

Hi everyone.
Having a really bad time of it at the moment - not sure if its PMT/ too much chocolate/ tiredness etc etc.
DH is getting on my blardy nerves and my DD has turned into wingey madam....deep breath
There, now i feel a bit better. Sorry its just i think its more constructive to let it out here than build it up into one of those volcano eruptions when all gets blown out of proportion!
On a better note - hello to the newbies! nice to hear from everyone on their different experiences. This is a lovely thread and one i keep coming back to even if its just for a bit if a break. we all need girlfriends to listen and gently prod us in the right direction.
Fell free to prod me!
regards

Minkulus! prod, prod.

Agree about the explosion.

Cheesesarnie - ones we have tried are: 1) try not to say anything critical/sarcastic to DH for a week 2)try to be more affectionate 3) do something to make us feel better about ourselves 4) cook something nice for DH etc etc
Whatever you think would help you, basically.

Minkulus - I'm finding the school holidays hard and DH (luckily for him) is working such long hours this week that he's out of the firing line. He IS getting up with the kids in the morning though and I attribute that directly to me having been nicer to him these past weeks.
He feels sorry for me, rather than wanting to stay out of my way.

i'm back not been well and dp is rubbish when im ill very distant does less for me i hve no idea why lol

well it was my b day sat just gone and dp took me la tasca on fri night and we had such a nice time out together and i went out with friends sat

sun spent recovering lol but we havent really been getting on very well think its just because he has the i dont know what to do attitude so tends to do nothing still his working away tonight so peace and quiet for me lol

hope everyone else is ok and all still going well xx

Hi bubbla - sounds like you've had a mixed few days. Belated Happy Birthday. Have a nice evening x

thanks janni ds not been well and now is appearing to be coming down with chicken pox spots appearing lol

it doesnt just rain does it it pours lol

Belated Happy Birthday, bubblagirl .

Oh no - not chicken pox. Poor him (and poor you, too). Hope it's just a mild dose. Use the aqueous cream with calamine lotion in it - much easier and less messy than normal calamine lotion. And piriton or similar to ease the itching, if you can. Oh, and porridge oats in the foot of an old pair of tights soaked in the bath, and squeezed out over his skin, can ease the itching too.

thank you for cake jackie and the tips i cant believe it he has been off colour for weeks thought we wrere getting to end of it and then spots appear

id much rather he get it now than later though

Yes - gets it over and done with, at least .

Ooh that cake looks good!
I agree it's best to get the pox out of the way!
DH out tonight. Trying to get a bit of housework done. BORING!

DS tells me there's a new series of Desperate Housewives starting tonight - that's always good for a laugh.

well hope you have relaxing evening every one the prog i want to watch is dispatches tomorrow night

tonight i might watch enchanted in bed as full of cold and it looks funny dp at work till the morn so peace and quiet for me just the way i like it

he finally sent me a text saying i really do love you his actions just of late dont match his words neither does the tine of voice lol oh except its not him its me so i guess ive given up a bit as he dont seem to make any effort back

i just feel worn out trying to make him happy still i like how i feel doing what i was doing guess i just shouldnt expect him to want to do same back i can be quite happy sitting in silence lol x

Oh Bubbla, I'm sorry. You sound low.
We can't make them happy and it did sound like he was really appreciating the effort you were making before. There are lots of things in his life you have no control over, please don't blame yourself.

Bubblagirl HUGE hugs for you.
I guess right now things seem pretty horrible and you've a lot on your plate, but keep your chin up honey, it WILL pass.
The happiness of your DH is not ultimately your responsibility and I think this thread should also be called 'for those of us who realise WE are not so bad........
the happiness or at least settled feeling you have from being more measured about your responses etc is for you as well as those around you. Hold on to that thought when you want to dissolve into a screaming harpy hissy fit!!
sending love and good vibes to your beautiful boy - chicken pox bleurgh

and to everyone else - hugs, kisses and kicks up the bum for those who need them!

This is a really sweet thread, trying to make your dp's lives more lovely. I hope you girls are getting the results you deserve.