A thread for those of us who have realised our partners are not so bad after all....

[Janni]

..so we would like to practise being nicer to them! I managed a week without saying anything sarcastic or critical to DH.

This week I'm also trying to be more affectionate to him, rather than just hugging the kids!

I feel happier and the atmosphere at home is much better.

Letting it cause problems between us. Hope all is ok with you? I thought everyone had given up when i managed to get back on line and noticed not many people been on thread so it starts again now. More effort for ourselves as well as dp I've found it tiring so need to look after myself also i like feeling nice though x

Mostly everything is fine here.. Last week DS started playschool AND potty training, poor chap didn't know what had hit him by the weekend! It wasn't intentionally an 'achieving' week, he just seemed ready so I thought we'd go with it!

DP is working long days still, and has coastguard stuff around that, but we are a lot more relaxed at the moment. For now anyway!

I wonder where everyone else is?!

I don't know glad all is well your end I.m trying to potty train my ds as well how old is your ds? Luckily his talking is coming along better still way behind but good to finally see improvement. Not sure what task to set my dp feels we don't spend enough romantic time things have got to comfortable so i will be more assertive and come onto him a bit more even if it's just cuddling and kissing

Just to bring some closeness back we are getting on better but we are lacking physical closeness i find it hard to relax if ds is up and dp wants to sneak off at night I.m too tired from being with ds and sometimes just don't want to not sure why probably all the problems getting in the way so i will try to relax and have more moments with dp. Get our spark back. X

DS is 2.5, we're getting there but he seems to have a problem with doing his poos (TMI) he's been holding it in for 24 hrs now, that can't be good!

Bubbla, I have seen the pics of your little boy on your profile and he is absolutely gorgeous. I could eat him!!

Oh thank you very much irisheyes i like to think his gorgeous lol. Well last night worked out as planned we shared some romantic time together and are enjoying each others company saying that his ranting in kitchen at moment ha ha hope everyone else ok?

Hi all, am i too late to join this thread?

I think i need this to save my relationship. Myself and my DP have a 8 month ds and as i'm sure you can all relate to our relationship has suffered badly, on top of that i have discovered that i am suffering with PND. Looking at the positives i am now on AD and hopefully they will kick in soon. Need to start some positive thinking in our home. By time dp gets in from work i am shattered and very snappy, so we spend the evening snappy watching telly then i go to bed early...

THink that i need to make a HUGE effort to start being pleasent to him again...

How do you start this? I have got into a terrible habbit of being stroppy, moody, unaffectionate and generally not pleasent, i think if i start to be nicer then by the looks of it it starts to create a nicer environment at home???

Hi k sorry to hear your having tough time. We all started bit by bit start praising them more for there help instead of expecting things ask them nicely if something bothers you walk away if it's silly but most of all create time for each other. I hope your feeling better soon take things one step at a time create a time for you to chill out before dh comes home tell him how your feeling ask how

His day has been and bring some affection in sneaky cuddle and kiss but not leading to anything send a text and say we'll have cuddly night tonight get dressed nice cook lovely dinner or get take away and snuggle together don't feel you have to cope alone but also realise our actions affect our partners one step at a time we all noticed nearly straight away how our partners became nicer when we

Knew what we could change most of all communicate don't snap they too would have had stress at work so ask nicely to help can you do this so i can get this done then we can have some us time thanking for help giving kiss and cuddle but you must also have you time to un wind good luck and welcome to our thread. X

Sorry using net on my phone comp has packed up wanted to also say don't blame yourself pnd isn't your fault but easy to get stuck in rut more communication and cuddles should have you both feeling closer and remember your a team treat each other with respect you both work hard my dp works so hard for us i have found such an appreciation but he also appreciates me more we are working on the

Physical side as still lacking a bit there he works long hours me being to tired or annoyed not wanting to do anything but we have nice dinner snuggle and just see what happens really bad we cuddled naked the other day and realised i haven't done that since i was pregnant ds is 3 this month so i know we need to be more affectionate my confidence has gone since ds so working on that. X

Ah, thanks for that bubbleagirl, that has really made a difference to my evening. Its nice to know that others have similar problems, I think that is the most concerning but, thinking that its 'just me' that has craooy times.

Anyway, not snapped yet this evening so fingers crossed. Will keep you posted.

x

Hope your night went ok k? My dp was working till gone midnight and won't see him today either so just got me and ds to think about. Hope your ds is ok? Such a lovely age. Hope you have good day. X

Things still going ok, have find myself biting my lip a couple of times which is a great turn around for me, and hasn't led to bickering. Will see how the weekend goes.

Have a lovely weekend.

my dp going away tomorrow for 4 days working in scotland so will have to make sure im polite on our phone calls i geyt wound up when i only hear from him once in 12 hrs but have to be understanding his working and its nights too so he'll be sleeping when i want to talk and i'll want to sleep qwhen he wants to talk so lots of loving texts i think

luckily he will be back for thur night our ds birthday is sat he'll be 3 so im glad he'll be home for that

we did get on last night but night before and yesterday morning was constant bickering as we havent seen each other as his been working very long days he came home tired and snapped at everything i said

so i told him if he is tired and cannot tolerate me when clearly im just trying to be nice instead of being nasty go to bed

he was bit as normally would have had a go at him for talking to me like that

he retaliated and went to bed

i have to seriously bite my lip to point of chewing it off as i know its only because his tired

(yet if im tired and so much snap all hell breaks loose)

so this drives me insane that he thinks its ok for him to talk to me like that but i handled it well and he came home with tail between his legs last night lol

well hope you are feeling better and hope you too have good weekend dont be afraid to pre warn that you feel worn down and slightly stressed

dont just try and hide the fact i always say look im not in best of moods had stressful day feel really hormonal can we just cuddle

then i gradually un wind and can talk without me snapping at least they are well aware that your not feeling to happy having bad day etc x

well my dp is working away for 4 days now so will send nice texts and try not to stress to much looking forward to peace and quiet really lol

hope every one else is keeping up good work and feeling ok or has everyone else given up now? x

Hi everyone - we've just come back from a week's holiday in South Wales, with no internet access, which is why I haven't been around. It was lovely not being at home, and I didn't generally have to try so hard to be nice - somehow without all the stresses and strains of everyday life, it's much easier. Just having time helps too. Even though DH spent a lot of the time on his laptop, preparing something for work this week.

Glad DS is over the chicken pox bubblagirl, and that you're getting your iron levels back up again.

Welcome kkkkatie. Just try for little steps, as bubblagirl says, just being appreciative for the things they do, and thinking before you say something to them - I find it helps me to think 'would I say it like this to someone at work' - I've realised I'd phrase things differently, and more politely to other people. Why shouldn't my DH get the same respect?

welcome back jackie glad you had alovely time i would so love to get a break but until we have more money that will not happen

but anyway dp been trying bit more but has had few slip ups as work has been long and tiring and unfortunatly i'm on the recieving end when he gets home

well his away for 4 days so will do us good there

our ds will be 3 on sat so looking forward to doimg small family gathering as money is sparce at the moment but still it will be fun and dp and i get special time together with ds

x

Hey, for parties, it's not the money you spend, but the people you have there that counts - I bet you'll all have a fab time.

I really need to get back on this thread...am not doing great. Am not being mean, just feel quite low and bleugh and am not a good partner at the moment.

janni9 thought you had done a runner all the niceness come to a head lol

sorry to hear your not feeling so great wait till you feel better in your self and then put the effort back in hope his being kind to you and making effort?

dp still in scotland have had lovely phine calls although we have only had brief call when he wakes up his on night shifts

and one or two texts all day so convo is sparce but i'm not feeling to great all my throat has come up and feel run down today although slept ok but guess that could be the iron levels still

so im glad i dont have to watch what im saying or upset him by being tired and moody
x

Hi Janni, definitely second what bubblagirl says - be nice to yourself for a bit, and hopefully you'll feel better in a while.

Thanks - DH was away for a while and then I didn't get back on here...Will come back soon! Nice to see you're still going!