Husband hasn’t come home!

[Worried00]

My husband went to play darts last night as he does every Wednesday. I’ve woken up at 4.30am and he isn’t home!!!
I’ve tried calling him and WhatsApping him- no answer and no reply. He hasn’t read my messages.
his darts team are his old work mates who I have no contact information for.
im worried sick. What do I do!? Do I call the police? Do I call hospitals !? Help, I feel sick

How do you all know op was uninsured.
it takes 5 minutes to insure a car for yourself.

You can grovel without apologising, and you can apologise without grovelling.

They’re not the same.

Good for you OP, I am seething for you! At least you can rid yourself of stress and worry now.

Why blaspheme?

Now there's a word I haven't heard for a long time. Don't visit the swearing threads, whatever you do; you may not survive!

As an aside, if he wasn’t prepared to insure me on his car, not a chance he’d be taking mine out for no other reason than “it has air con” and leaving me without a vehicle!

Grovelling is lying or crawling face down on the floor.
Behaving obsequiously to gain someone's forgiveness or favour.

Why not? It's her choice, she wasn't hurting anyone or putting anyone at risk. Any consequences would have been hers to bear. And also, nothing happened so she assessed the risk, made her choice, and it worked out fine.

Glad he's safe

I'd be livid too

Not sure I would end my marriage over it, but I'd be seriously unimpressed

Im so glad hes back OP so you're not run ragged today! ♥️. I had to pop on ...mid work lol .to see if he arrived bk home
Without packing his bags, i know you're angry, id be spitting feathers, but you know the obvious reasonable questions you need to ask once your adrenalin has dropped a notch or two, and to be asked as soon as possible.
I would judge whether its true or not...however id rip him a new one. Why drinking last night when dont drink? Didn't contact me knowing you were drinking n couldn't drive back? Had no car to take kids to school, safely and legally. The worry!. Whos sofa?. Why didn't get taxi bk home last night? Why drive in morning if drunk night before? I have rung hospitals, police etc. Does he smell of booze? Friends names?. And the question we are trying to avoid, were you with another woman. Xxx

OP has driven uninsured which is the worst part of this sorry, sorry saga. Give your head a wobble OP.

What a fucking twat

Oh bore off Captain Perfect, why in god's name would anyone else on the road be at risk? Even if the OP wasn't insured (which you don't know) it doesn't suddenly make her a wild and dangerous driver.

OP I'm glad he's turned up so you can stop worrying, but like you I would be absolutely livid and telling him to give me some space x

I don't think the OP ever said she was not insured.

@GarlicGrace I agree. OP specifically says he used to do this now and again, but not for years and that he doesn't drink. So I suspect there's been previous alcohol abuse and it was a dealbreaker and now he's slipped back into his old ways.

Meanwhile, OP spent the night completely terrified because she trusted him and therefore assumed that this out-of-character behaviour was because he'd been in an accident or similar. He has then stumbled home (or not 0 hard to tell), skipped work and still has her car, limiting her options for collecting children, getting to work etc.

It might not be marriage ending - the backstory is probably key here - but I don't blame OP for telling him to pack a bag right now while she calms down.

Shocking? Fgs this was an emergency at the time.

OP, I do not blame you for asking him to clear off out. As he has put you through a horrendous time, no one gets that drunk instantly that they cannot fire off one simple message just to say I am safe but won't make it home.

Relieved he’s unharmed, and I completely understand why you’d be fuming as I would be too. Not sure if I’d tell him to pack a bag but he’d be in some trouble

Drinking can get out of hand, and when you don’t drink, you might think you’re sober until you just aren’t, and that’s fine - but he’s a grown man, and even drunk, he can pick up the phone and ring you. It’s the complete no contact that would piss me off. Has he told you who he stayed with? That would be another thing I’d be looking into

Good point.. I'm assuming he left it at the pub? I wonder if OP ever did contact or go to the pub to see if it was there or not.

It's all a bit suspicious OP. I'm sorry you're going through this as totally understand your anger.

She did say that, she's not insured on DH car.

Glad he's OK although I bet you want to kill him right now. I hope he's telling the truth and that you manage to work things out x

"i am meant to be leaving in half an hour to get the kids to school and go to work but he has my car! I’m not insured on his"

Yes she did.

But she might well have checked, as suggested, to see if her own insurance covers her. You're jumping to conclusions.

Wow! That's so irresponsible of him. I hope you're ok - what a horrible mixture of feelings for you to deal with. Is there any reason he deicded to go on an unplanned bender? Surely he knew that by his third drink that he wouldn't be able to drive and that would have been a good time to let you know? Especially as he had your car...never mind the rest of it.

I’m sure the telling him to leave isn’t a permanent thing (as he doesn’t have form) but OP is so understandably furious with him she just wants him out of her sight. Until there is genuine apologies and acknowledgement of his atrocious behaviour I’d be keeping him at arms length too.

Why do men who have kids think this kind of behaviour is ok? Where are all the mums who get roaring drunk and stay out all night leaving their kids unable to get to school and their husbands unable to go to work.
I'd be digging a new patio.

Lol at the people thinking the issue is insurance through all this. Love to see them in an emergency !