Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband hasn’t come home!

698 replies

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:20

My husband went to play darts last night as he does every Wednesday. I’ve woken up at 4.30am and he isn’t home!!!
I’ve tried calling him and WhatsApping him- no answer and no reply. He hasn’t read my messages.
his darts team are his old work mates who I have no contact information for.
im worried sick. What do I do!? Do I call the police? Do I call hospitals !? Help, I feel sick

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
PinkFloors · 07/09/2023 10:20

@Worried00 I don't blame you! 😰

Which sofa was he on?

crochetmonkey74 · 07/09/2023 10:20

Wow I'm glad he's home and safe , and I would be angry too.

BorrowedThyme · 07/09/2023 10:20

so good to hear he is safe xx

ScottishIceCream · 07/09/2023 10:20

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 10:18

He is home.
I drove his car to drop the kids to school, I didn’t go to work.

i called his brother and his friends, none of them knew where he was.
he called me at 9am to say he had got drunk and fallen asleep on the sofa.

he has called in sick to work.

although I am relieved he is is okay, I am absolutely fuming!!!! I’ve told him to pack a bag and leave

Good for you!!!

deydododatdodontdeydo · 07/09/2023 10:20

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 10:18

He is home.
I drove his car to drop the kids to school, I didn’t go to work.

i called his brother and his friends, none of them knew where he was.
he called me at 9am to say he had got drunk and fallen asleep on the sofa.

he has called in sick to work.

although I am relieved he is is okay, I am absolutely fuming!!!! I’ve told him to pack a bag and leave

A relief that he's ok I guess, but if you are kicking him out it hardly matters.
Who's sofa did he sleep on?

Tabitha1960 · 07/09/2023 10:20

Just as I posted that, the OP was posting that he's safe.

Thank goodness!

I have been in the same position myself and it was exactly the same story - crashed on a mate's sofa, overslept, etc. They are oblivious to the anguish they cause.

Coffeetree · 07/09/2023 10:20

Oh my God that's unforgiveable. Imagine if you did that to him and the kids. There'll be a lot of cool wives piling on now to gaslight you, but that is outrageous behaviour.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 10:21

I'm glad he's home, and well.

It's so out of character for him (as you've said), I'm not sure why you're ordering him to leave?

Of course you'll be furious - can you not discuss this & address any issues?

sezzer87 · 07/09/2023 10:21

Good for you OP. Make him grovel !!

Viviennemary · 07/09/2023 10:22

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 10:18

He is home.
I drove his car to drop the kids to school, I didn’t go to work.

i called his brother and his friends, none of them knew where he was.
he called me at 9am to say he had got drunk and fallen asleep on the sofa.

he has called in sick to work.

although I am relieved he is is okay, I am absolutely fuming!!!! I’ve told him to pack a bag and leave

You have every right to be furious. But pack a bag and leave?? That's a bit over the top IMHO.

baytreelane23 · 07/09/2023 10:22

Glad he's okay!

Whose sofa, I thought it was a regular darts event on a work night? I'd be fuming too!

randomuser2019 · 07/09/2023 10:22

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

PickledPurplePickle · 07/09/2023 10:23

I'm glad he is safe

saraclara · 07/09/2023 10:23

Coffeetree · 07/09/2023 10:20

Oh my God that's unforgiveable. Imagine if you did that to him and the kids. There'll be a lot of cool wives piling on now to gaslight you, but that is outrageous behaviour.

Oh give over with this crap. This cool wives trope is ridiculous and no-one is going to gaslight OP.

marblesthecat · 07/09/2023 10:23

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 10:21

I'm glad he's home, and well.

It's so out of character for him (as you've said), I'm not sure why you're ordering him to leave?

Of course you'll be furious - can you not discuss this & address any issues?

When my DH did this I wanted to murder him and I basically told him we would continue living together for financial reasons but not be a couple.

I did calm down after a day or so 😂But I still get annoyed thinking about it and it was over a year ago.

Ostryga · 07/09/2023 10:23

I don’t think I’d ever be able to get past that. It takes seconds to text, no matter how pissed you are. Absolutely outrageous behaviour.

Really look after yourself op, there’s loads of support on MN, but make sure you have people around you in real life as well. Thinking of you.

Oioicaptain · 07/09/2023 10:23

Am glad that he's home. He has a lot of making up to do to you!

sezzer87 · 07/09/2023 10:23

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 10:21

I'm glad he's home, and well.

It's so out of character for him (as you've said), I'm not sure why you're ordering him to leave?

Of course you'll be furious - can you not discuss this & address any issues?

Took her car
Didn't call
Didn't come home
Got drunk and is saying he fell asleep on a 'sofa'
Friends and family don't know where he was.

And you're questioning why she's asked him to leave??

Issummernearlyover · 07/09/2023 10:23

Thank goodness he's safe. I was so worried for you. My friend had a similar situation and the outcome was the opposite.

I'd be very suspicious of his excuse.

Phos · 07/09/2023 10:24

Which sofa did he fall asleep on?

I think chucking him out is a bit extreme for a first offence but I'll be told I'm wrong.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 10:25

He has been an utter arse.

But kicking him out? It's his house, too.

Surely OP plans to at least talk to him before throwing him out.

As for 'make him grovel' comments - nonsensical. The OP needs to let him know how distressed she's been, how selfish & unacceptable his behaviour is, and he needs to address this. Grovelling isn't part of it.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 10:25

This cool wives trope is ridiculous and no-one is going to gaslight OP.

👏👏👏

Oldsu · 07/09/2023 10:25

Talk to him and tell him how upset you are but unless there is another problem telling to pack his bag and leave due to one stupid mistake which I doubt he will repeat is a bit drastic are you really going to throw away your marriage over this?

Eileeneddover · 07/09/2023 10:26

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 10:18

He is home.
I drove his car to drop the kids to school, I didn’t go to work.

i called his brother and his friends, none of them knew where he was.
he called me at 9am to say he had got drunk and fallen asleep on the sofa.

he has called in sick to work.

although I am relieved he is is okay, I am absolutely fuming!!!! I’ve told him to pack a bag and leave

You told him to pack his bags and leave just because he got drunk?

Harsh or what

However I agree with others it sounds VERY suspicious and I think he most likely cheated on you and is using getting drunk as a cover story.

Berlinlover · 07/09/2023 10:26

Do you believe he got drunk and slept on a friend’s sofa?