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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband hasn’t come home!

698 replies

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 05:20

My husband went to play darts last night as he does every Wednesday. I’ve woken up at 4.30am and he isn’t home!!!
I’ve tried calling him and WhatsApping him- no answer and no reply. He hasn’t read my messages.
his darts team are his old work mates who I have no contact information for.
im worried sick. What do I do!? Do I call the police? Do I call hospitals !? Help, I feel sick

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Dinoswearunderpants · 07/09/2023 09:33

Thinking of you. So sorry for this. Nothing good would have happened of this so thinking of you.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 09:34

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/09/2023 09:30

any news?

Why do posters do this on a thread like this?

If OP has news, that she wants to share, she'll come back.

This isn't some entertainment for MN, it's someone's real life.

Skybluecoat · 07/09/2023 09:34

I hope he’s turned up safe.

Saturdaygirl01 · 07/09/2023 09:35

It’s odd that he has the car when he knows you need it. It doesn’t fit the bender/mate’s sofa explanation plus op says he doesn’t drink.

I would definitely start with the place he played darts and ask if the car is there or if they can tell you anything about when he/the group left.

Mumsmet · 07/09/2023 09:36

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 09:34

Why do posters do this on a thread like this?

If OP has news, that she wants to share, she'll come back.

This isn't some entertainment for MN, it's someone's real life.

Show quote history

It comes from a place of concern, it is a way of letting the OP know people are thinking of her. Don't think the worst of people

Aprilx · 07/09/2023 09:38

Worried00 · 07/09/2023 07:38

I’ve called 101- he hasn’t been arrested and the car has not been involved in an accident that they know of.
I’ve called lots of hospitals and he isn’t in any of them!
I don’t know what to do or what to think.
i am meant to be leaving in half an hour to get the kids to school and go to work but he has my car! I’m not insured on his
i feel sick to my stomach

I don’t have any contact details for who he was out with last night

The police would have found him if he had been in an accident and they say he hasn’t been arrested, so at least I think you can take away that he is safe. I expect he was drunk and is sleeping on somebody’s couch, which is of course pretty annoying, but probably the best explanation right now.

FUPAgirl · 07/09/2023 09:39

Thinking of you op, and am hoping the lack of posts is because you are bollocking him. Take care Flowers

myyve · 07/09/2023 09:39

I'm thinking of you, OP.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/09/2023 09:39

It comes from a place of concern, it is a way of letting the OP know people are thinking of her. Don't think the worst of people

The OP knows people are thinking of her, posters are sharing helpful suggestions.

This is just prurience - eagerly awaiting an update while the OP is literally in the middle of a crisis.

Thriving30 · 07/09/2023 09:39

I keep thinking about this situation since I clicked on the thread this morning. Thinking of you OP hope you get some answers soon.

Bookish88 · 07/09/2023 09:41

BingandSulaandFlop · 07/09/2023 09:17

I don't think you can get temporary car insurance without the knowledge and consent of the owner. If you do it's insurance fraud

Can't imagine the OPs husband is likely to object to her having done so retrospectively is he? 🙄

WhatWouldMrMannersSay · 07/09/2023 09:44

Can only think that he must have, for some reason, had a drink and stayed with someone. That sounds really out of character for him but occasionally people have a blip.

If you can get a lift to the pub, or get someone to go there and check if his car is still there that might help.

Ignore the 'he is a grown man' type comments. Absolutely bizarre way to respond.

I've had one time that DH didn't come home until about 1pm after a night out and was totally uncontactable. He's not a big drinker and had for some reason this time gone totally overboard. He had been taken home by a friend and put on their sofa. In the meantime I was going absolutely out of my mind with worry and had phoned all the hospitals. It was awful.

VeridicalVagabond · 07/09/2023 09:46

Thinking of you OP, I hope he's safe.

Is it possible to report the car and ask traffic officers locally to keep an eye out for it? If they find the car hopefully they'll find him along with it, safe and sound.

pontipinemum · 07/09/2023 09:46

Hopefully he has just been a complete arse and is sleeping off a hang over on a friends couch, it's a good sign that the police/ hospitals don't have him. I hope you got the kids to school OK.

Positive41 · 07/09/2023 09:47

Haven't read all- is he back?

Hope OP is ok

Greyfoot · 07/09/2023 09:47

Does he often use your car because of the aircon or was that out-of character?

Oblomov23 · 07/09/2023 09:48

Sorry to read this. Hope you managed to get kids to school for starters.

TyrannasaurusJex · 07/09/2023 09:49

Really hope all is ok and that he's home/at work with a sore head and a LOT of grovelling to do!

TenderDandelions · 07/09/2023 09:49

Once the kids are at school, I would phone in sick and then drive to the pub that he was playing darts at, to see if your car is in the car park. If it is, the likelihood is that he decided to have a drink and it's got out of hand.

If he doesn't normally drink when he goes, it does seem very out of character OP, so I hope you get some answers soon, and that he's OK.

Seryse · 07/09/2023 09:49

You could try perhaps phoning the pub, the might be setting up/cleaners in and answer, could ask them to have a wee look and see if the car is in the car park? I'm so sorry OP, this must be absolutely awful for you.

Handcreamqueen · 07/09/2023 09:51

I really hope all is ok and there’s a simple explanation.

Greyarea12 · 07/09/2023 09:51

This must be so worrying for you. I hope he is ok.

SummerHouse · 07/09/2023 09:52

At this point I would report him missing. There is absolutely no need to wait any amount of time. This is very out of character (I assume from your posts) and unusual. A missing person report now is proportionate but hopefully unnecessary.

IncognitoMam · 07/09/2023 09:52

How awful for you 😔
I agree regarding contacting where he played darts.
I hope you're put at ease soon.

capricorn12 · 07/09/2023 09:53

Do you know where he was playing darts OP? Could you call the pub (if it was a pub) and ask if they know him and if he was in .