Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What does Lots of ducks to feed mean here???

267 replies

cluelessbingo · 04/09/2023 21:44

I met a guy on online dating. He asked where I lived. I told him my whereabouts. He then responded saying 'lots of ducks to feed there.'
Does anyone knows what he means by this?

OP posts:
Diospyros · 05/09/2023 10:35

I've never heard "feeding the ducks" as a euphemism for masturbation nor, as PP suggested, as a euphemism for gay cruising (I'm assuming that was what was meant in the Simpsons episode). But both of those would fit if you told him that you live near Green Park and Hyde Park...

The rose garden in the corner of Hyde Park opposite Green Park is a gay cruising spot and there is most definitely some "duck feeding" going on the bushes at night.

Or he could have meant it literally. Lots of people go to the park to feed the ducks on the Serpentine or in St James Park.

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 05/09/2023 10:44

LordLetMeGlow · 05/09/2023 10:13

All you should have said is "do you mean there are loads of pondy parks round my way? If so, yes! We could go for a walk sometime this week? X"

Thank you.
In hindsight, this is what I needed to say.
I'm kicking myself for sending him the ducks or tossers question.
I'm disappointed I couldn't just think up your suggestion or something similar. How easy was it for you to come up with that? It would have taken me forever. Flowers
I'll give him 24hrs, after which I might go back to smoothen things over by saying sorry I'm too literal and was confused. I thought he couldn't have meant to suggest we feed ducks because we're pro-planet/ animals so why would we do so when clearly the signs say do not feed the ducks.
I guess if he told me this in person, I could have tried to read his countenance and work out what he could have been suggesting.
Too bad.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 05/09/2023 10:52

OP "Why throw me a confusing/controversial line of expression and then go mute?"

it's no one's fault. It's so annoying and sad that everything is a euphemism. I've not heard of this either.

Diospyros · 05/09/2023 11:15

Just explain yourself with a lighthearted message eg

Just in case you think I have lost the plot with my last message, feeding the ducks was used in the Simpsons this week as a euphemism... I'm guessing my last message sounded totally mad if you didn't see it 😂

Beeinalily · 05/09/2023 11:18

Could he be referring to the MP who claimed expenses for his duck house? It was a bit of scandal at the time.

ThatSunCreamSmell · 05/09/2023 11:30

Never heard of this, I would be confused too. Hopefully he will get back to you!

Iheartbobross · 05/09/2023 11:39

Sorry OP I feel really bad now - as much as I thought we were all enjoying the lightheartedness of this last night - it was a genuine suggestion to make light of the confusion. Others clearly disgree it was a good one! Hopefully he has a sense of humour too - the potential reference to Westminster being full of tossers is quite a funny one. You could just say that thought made you laugh and you didn't mean any offence - I certainly didn't, so sorry if it's made things awkward. Hope you get an opportunity to laugh it off with him Flowers

OrlandointheWilderness · 05/09/2023 12:00

God I really need to know now! 😂

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 05/09/2023 12:33

Iheartbobross · 05/09/2023 11:39

Sorry OP I feel really bad now - as much as I thought we were all enjoying the lightheartedness of this last night - it was a genuine suggestion to make light of the confusion. Others clearly disgree it was a good one! Hopefully he has a sense of humour too - the potential reference to Westminster being full of tossers is quite a funny one. You could just say that thought made you laugh and you didn't mean any offence - I certainly didn't, so sorry if it's made things awkward. Hope you get an opportunity to laugh it off with him Flowers

Please don't feel bad at all!
I know everyone's trying to help me land this date or avoid a potentially bad man. And it's comforting to know people found it amusing. I genuinely needed the help.

I've been on the app for a while now and all my matches/ dates haven't materialised, mostly due to miscommunication. Hence why I'm being careful to try to understand what this man means and not bungle it up.

If he doesn't respond to me by close of play, I intend to do a thematic analysis of all PPs suggestions on here so I can come to my own conclusion on what is most plausible as I'm still confused on what transpired and for my own sanity, I need closure!

OP posts:
Iheartbobross · 05/09/2023 12:47

Bless you OP - I think we all need that closure 😂

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 05/09/2023 13:02

"Hi- when you say 'ducks' are you being literal? I don't always get idioms!"

What next? He suggests 'meeting at a cafe' and then asking him to clarify whether he means somewhere in town to get a cup of coffee and a slice of cake or an underground mediaeval sex dungeon?!

Iheartbobross · 05/09/2023 13:05

Hang about. I've just seen the thing about la la land and now I'm even more Confused tbh I think I'd give him a miss as all a bit too weird. Even if it does mean what pp says it does - in my understanding it more commonly means a place of fantasy - that AND the duck comment would have me questioning his every word for alternative meanings. I'd def go cautiously.

hashbrownsandwich · 05/09/2023 13:12

At uni the boys used to have a phrase 'feed the ponies' which was basically a vulgar phrase meaning to use their hands on a girl. I am thinking feed the ducks is this blokes version.

beccaskylar · 05/09/2023 13:14

I'm going to guess Good Omens reference about ducks in St James' Park? 😂

gannett · 05/09/2023 13:22

hashbrownsandwich · 05/09/2023 13:12

At uni the boys used to have a phrase 'feed the ponies' which was basically a vulgar phrase meaning to use their hands on a girl. I am thinking feed the ducks is this blokes version.

I do not understand why your mind would go here first rather than the very well-known parks with ducks in where the OP lives.

MN is truly sex-obsessed.

Iheartbobross · 05/09/2023 13:25

And la la land where he says he lives? Where would you go first with that one?

Olika · 05/09/2023 13:29

La La land and lots of ducks to feed... With this man you might end up guessing and guessing with so many things along the line

66rabbits · 05/09/2023 13:35

I actually think your 'ducks or tossers' response is minor genius. It also sounds like some kind of board game.

35dadof2kent · 05/09/2023 13:38

I cannot believe the amount of replies and comments here, nor that ive wasted ten mins of my life reading them all 😂, he definitely meant you live near parks lets feed the ducks as a date option, no man in the history of earth EVER would use the term "feed the ducks" in a sexual way especially in a conversation that wasn't in any way sexual before hand

hev126 · 05/09/2023 13:42

66rabbits · 05/09/2023 13:35

I actually think your 'ducks or tossers' response is minor genius. It also sounds like some kind of board game.

I think if you want to make things a bit less awkward OP it might be good to take an approach that you were attempting a clever joke.....along the lines of the political one of Westminster being full of tossers.

That way he might assume you were being witty/funny and it's gone over his head.

Either that or just be honest about your tendency to take things literally - perhaps the better option in the long run

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 05/09/2023 13:43

MN is truly sex-obsessed.

Sometimes, I think that MN is just like a female version of Urban Dictionary - a mundane word that's universally used to refer to a mundane thing simply cannot mean that and instead must be a slang term to mean something 'exciting' about sex!

PimpMyFridge · 05/09/2023 14:28

There is surely now a parallel thread on dadsnet saying 'I sent a cute message to a possible date implying we could go and feed the ducks and she's replied asking me ducks or tossers... What could this possibly mean!!??'

OhwhyOY · 05/09/2023 14:37

I'd just assume he meant there's lots of ducks in the lakes in the parks which would be an opportunity for a nice stroll post coffee. I work in Westminster and walk through St James Park to the office past lots and lots of ducks (and the pelicans) plus a couple of nice coffee places in the park. I wouldn't be put off by this, if you otherwise get good vibes meet him and see.

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 05/09/2023 14:48

Iheartbobross · 05/09/2023 13:25

And la la land where he says he lives? Where would you go first with that one?

He actually told me he lives in another London borough. I just used La La Land to protect his identity and to make sure if he ever stumbles on this thread one day, he won't be certain this was about him.

OP posts:
Iheartbobross · 05/09/2023 14:51

Oh okay!! That's a relief! As you were then Smile