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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What does Lots of ducks to feed mean here???

267 replies

cluelessbingo · 04/09/2023 21:44

I met a guy on online dating. He asked where I lived. I told him my whereabouts. He then responded saying 'lots of ducks to feed there.'
Does anyone knows what he means by this?

OP posts:
LauderSyme · 06/09/2023 22:21

Iheartbobross · 06/09/2023 21:51

Not very helpful to the op after the event though! Where were all you sensible people the other night when she asked! 😁

Show quote history

<< waves >> 😉

Trisolaris · 07/09/2023 10:59

@Iheartbobross

Posting and being ignored 😂

BloodyHellKen · 07/09/2023 12:32

User56785 · 06/09/2023 18:06

What do you think it means then?

Show quote history

'Feeding the ducks' is slang for having a wank 😉

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 07/09/2023 13:16

GLORIAGloriarse · 06/09/2023 21:18

I would leave it until the day before the date now.

You have kindly shown concern but remember that you've not met yet so even if he feels awful, there's nothing you can do and he may just need to rest.

If it gets to the day before the date and you havent heard anything then I would text, ask how he is, check whether he is still on for the date tomorrow and maybe a quick, friendly line about how the rest of your week has been.

If in doubt, I would personally err towards less contact than more in the very early stages, especially before you've met.

Thank you for the guidance.
I haven't heard from him still, but I'll hold my peace till a day before, but I've also put a lid on the excitement so I don't get disappointed.
He's still alive though and possibly using the app as his distance from me has changed a few times.

OP posts:
Original poster
cluelessbingo · 07/09/2023 13:18

Thank you @ThickSkinnedSoWhat Flowers

OP posts:
whereisthecheese · 09/09/2023 07:38

Has his distance from you changed a few times? Do we know why that is (apart from covid) because that's something that would put me off. Have you heard back from him yet?

WhatapityWapiti · 09/09/2023 07:59

whereisthecheese · 09/09/2023 07:38

Has his distance from you changed a few times? Do we know why that is (apart from covid) because that's something that would put me off. Have you heard back from him yet?

She means his physical distance, not emotional!

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 09/09/2023 12:05

Update: Not a word from this man.
Not even a response to my last message to him wherein we I asked how he was feeling.
I've now texted today asking if he's still up for meeting tomorrow.
I'm thinking of unlatching him as I think he was using COVID as an excuse. It's been 4 days and no response to my last message, but his location has changed a few times.
It's tacky behaviour to me and he seems like hard work. His habit of responding with a few lines here and there is a turn off for me.

OP posts:
Olika · 09/09/2023 12:09

I would move on. If he was interested he would make it happen.

nongnangning · 09/09/2023 13:18

Damn! Still ... it was a really good thread anyway.
Also quite educational 😂
Sorry OP. Think you should tell him to quack off and line yourself up a new duck

SequinsandStiIettos · 09/09/2023 13:40

He's got Covid - he's probably in bed trying to rest in this heat.

Would you even want to meet up if someone is covid positive? Many would postpone for a week.

You can feed ducks corn or peas in moderation, just not bread.

Original text was a proposal of duck-feeding in park (I'd assume most parks in London have cafes too?) nothing to do with wanking.

Neurotypical responses:

  1. Yes, lots of ducks in Green Park. We could grab a coffee/ice cream there too.
  2. Oh no! You poor thing. Let me know when you are feeling better and want to meet up outside.

I would not unmatch him. Nor would I expect to meet up this weekend when he's poorly. The ball is in his court - he'll contact you if he wants to.

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 09/09/2023 15:24

SequinsandStiIettos · 09/09/2023 13:40

He's got Covid - he's probably in bed trying to rest in this heat.

Would you even want to meet up if someone is covid positive? Many would postpone for a week.

You can feed ducks corn or peas in moderation, just not bread.

Original text was a proposal of duck-feeding in park (I'd assume most parks in London have cafes too?) nothing to do with wanking.

Neurotypical responses:

  1. Yes, lots of ducks in Green Park. We could grab a coffee/ice cream there too.
  2. Oh no! You poor thing. Let me know when you are feeling better and want to meet up outside.

I would not unmatch him. Nor would I expect to meet up this weekend when he's poorly. The ball is in his court - he'll contact you if he wants to.

I think you may be missing the point. It's not about wanting to meet up. It's about not being communicative?
Anyway he's replied saying he won't be able to meet.

OP posts:
LylaLee · 09/09/2023 15:39

cluelessbingo · 09/09/2023 15:24

I think you may be missing the point. It's not about wanting to meet up. It's about not being communicative?
Anyway he's replied saying he won't be able to meet.

Show quote history

Don't chase after him. Draw a line under this one and move on.

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 09/09/2023 16:22

Thank you @LylaLee
I didn't respond to him saying he can't meet, as he didn't suggest he'd love to after recovering. I've unmatched him. He can quack on. I will meet someone more suitable for me, and if not I'd be fine too.

On a final note, thank you to everyone for contributing to this thread. I got some really good advice that made me reflect on how I can self-improve and some useful tips that I have already begun to apply in my everyday life.

For example, I invited my friend to come over for tea via text, saying 'I found this really great honey that gives my tea a tinge. I think you'll love it. Perhaps you could come by for tea when the warm weather goes away?'.
My old approach would have been 'Dear X, hope you're well? Would you like to come for tea on X day at X time?'

Sending best wishes to everyone. FlowersFlowersFlowers

OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 09/09/2023 16:54

cluelessbingo · 09/09/2023 16:22

Thank you @LylaLee
I didn't respond to him saying he can't meet, as he didn't suggest he'd love to after recovering. I've unmatched him. He can quack on. I will meet someone more suitable for me, and if not I'd be fine too.

On a final note, thank you to everyone for contributing to this thread. I got some really good advice that made me reflect on how I can self-improve and some useful tips that I have already begun to apply in my everyday life.

For example, I invited my friend to come over for tea via text, saying 'I found this really great honey that gives my tea a tinge. I think you'll love it. Perhaps you could come by for tea when the warm weather goes away?'.
My old approach would have been 'Dear X, hope you're well? Would you like to come for tea on X day at X time?'

Sending best wishes to everyone. FlowersFlowersFlowers

OP I'm sorry things didn't go anywhere this time. I'm glad that the thread has been helpful though, whilst perhaps a bit of a giggle at times 😅

I truly hope you find someone worth your time soon and your text to your friend sounds great, I am intrigued by this tea honey mind you!

Sending positive vibes your way :) Flowers

Original poster
cluelessbingo · 09/09/2023 18:30

@ThickSkinnedSoWhat thank you.
I'm glad many got a giggle out of it.
The is called Truva Hot Honey. Found it in TKMaxx £4.99. May not be for everyone, but it's currently what I'm fixated on. Highly recommend it!

What does Lots of ducks to feed mean here???
OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 09/09/2023 18:34

cluelessbingo · 09/09/2023 18:30

@ThickSkinnedSoWhat thank you.
I'm glad many got a giggle out of it.
The is called Truva Hot Honey. Found it in TKMaxx £4.99. May not be for everyone, but it's currently what I'm fixated on. Highly recommend it!

Ooooh interesting, I think I'd like that. Will definitely keep an eye out! Have a lovely time with your friend :)

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