Think partner is cheating

[Moonchild5]

Hi, my partner has a tendency to go out “for a few pints” & not return home & not communicate with me. I just knew he wasn’t returning home last night when he asked if I minded he go out for a few with a friend from his old job. I’m not his keeper so will never stop him from going out but told him last time to leave etc after he didn’t return home. I was pregnant every other time & have an 8 week old now. He messaged me this morning saying sorry I just stayed at my friends I’m just waiting on the train. Told him I’m not interested, gave him a lecture then not spoke to him all day. I find his wallet not long ago, I look in it to see if there’s any evidence of him taking drugs as he told me he stopped. I find a hotel receipt so he lied about staying at his friends. Is it likely he’s cheated? Can’t think why else he’d lie about where he stayed. Rather discuss here before making any quick decisions or flip out( I’m not naive be brutally honest)

Hotel invoice? He’s cheating.
Decent men don’t stay over in hotels on a night out. They’re at their mates or on the way home.
Decent men also check in with DW or DP.
Wise up.

Sounds like he does hookups probably meeting people on online dating sites.
I'm sorry it doesn't sound like he has any respect for you and your little family.

Thank you. Yes hotel invoice. I was wondering who he’d be cheating with as it would have to be someone that’s okay with not seeing him for weeks at a time in between going out or a one night stand. Best of it is he’s never took me to a hotel & never wears a shirt to go anywhere with me but buys a new suit every time he goes out. I don’t even have any tears this time I’m so tired of this.

I would say there are plenty of opportunities for hook ups.

What an absolute little d*

Pack his bag and tell him to do one

I’m so annoyed! The hypocrisy of this man. He goes on about how disgusting cheating is etc & he can’t stand liars. Grr

My dad was a cheat. He always judged others who cheated.

Be strong op

Oh and the one he left my mum for stayed hanging on for years waiting for him. He only left her when my mum kicked him out. OW only got her man when my mum had enough. There are women out there who hang on and wait. They hang off the cheaters every word.

Phone the hotel if you need confirmation.

Likely saying this to put you off the scent

Cheating or not, you have a child with this man and he's never taken you somewhere nice or for an overnight at a hotel? On top of that he goes out drinking all night while you're pregnant or at home with a newborn. Get him in the bin.

He's 100% cheated. That's just the cherry on top of a whole pile of crappy behaviour from him. You deserve better and I think you know that.

I could scream I don’t know wether to laugh or cry. I feel sorry for my 10yo. (He’s not my partners) he’s complained about my partner since the start & said he hates him etc. maybe he’s a good judge of character. I wish everyone could telepathically communicate & understand how the last 3 years have been. I cannot get over the hypocrisy. More & more things are coming to light now I’ve discovered this. I’m going over everything he’s said & done & I'm getting more & more frustrated

No I know that’s what I said to him in my rant this morning before finding this receipt. He can go out with his “friends” at a drop of a hat but if I ever want to do anything I need to plan it & let him know about it many moons in advance. Can’t even go on a spontaneous walk after dinner without it being prearranged I’m flipping furious

I'm so sorry 😢

Has he "explained"?

To top it off it me & his 8 week old daughter have covid & was just in hospital with her 2 days prior to this before finding out she had covid. What a guy. I’m getting deja vu I found out the day I gave birth my sons dad was cheating on me now here 10 years later going through the same thing. Great!

I haven’t said anything to him yet I’d like to get some sleep as me & my daughter have covid & have barely slept in days as she’s been in pain & screaming non stop so I don’t want to be up all night speaking to him. I’m in the bedroom & he’s in the living room sleeping as we’ve been sleeping separately since giving birth as listening to his snoring when waking up for night feeds was too much

If this is the level of respect he gives you then he is capable of anything.

Sounds like he fancies himself.

I just know he’s going to give me, “but why were you in my wallet?” & flip it on me

Can you say you found it on the floor?

Then you can never win in this situation.

He's not a fair man.

Are you frightened of him ?

Don’t admit to finding the receipt in the wallet. Say it fell out of his pocket as he left the house or something.

Or you could say he was seen at the hotel by someone you know? Ask who it was he was with and watch his reaction.

Can you check his phone? You know he’s going to say he was there by himself.

No I’m not frightened

No I don’t know his password & his phone is glued to him

Yes, @Moonchild5, your Partner is cheating.

This drug using, self-serving player has form for going out and not coming home or communicating, even when you’re pregnant, are ill, and have a sick baby. That is appalling. This time you found evidence that he lied about his whereabouts, and in fact stayed in a hotel. He wouldn’t have been alone.

He has risked not only your sexual health, but also your baby’s health in utero.

Your 10 year old has the measure of this low-life, and doesn’t like or trust him. He is indeed a keen judge of character, and he sees P’s contemptuous behavior that devalues all of you.

Surely it’s game over, @Moonchild5. Don’t even give him the opportunity to gaslight and blame shift. (Newsflash: You had every right to look for the truth by investigating his wallet, phone, etc., due to his dodgy absences, disrespectful behavior, and possible drug use.)

Tell him it’s over and mean it.