Think partner is cheating

[Moonchild5]

Hi, my partner has a tendency to go out “for a few pints” & not return home & not communicate with me. I just knew he wasn’t returning home last night when he asked if I minded he go out for a few with a friend from his old job. I’m not his keeper so will never stop him from going out but told him last time to leave etc after he didn’t return home. I was pregnant every other time & have an 8 week old now. He messaged me this morning saying sorry I just stayed at my friends I’m just waiting on the train. Told him I’m not interested, gave him a lecture then not spoke to him all day. I find his wallet not long ago, I look in it to see if there’s any evidence of him taking drugs as he told me he stopped. I find a hotel receipt so he lied about staying at his friends. Is it likely he’s cheated? Can’t think why else he’d lie about where he stayed. Rather discuss here before making any quick decisions or flip out( I’m not naive be brutally honest)

Can you change the locks when he goes to work tomorrow? Make sure you tell your landlord why (or maybe contact landlord first to get permission) and give them a key

It’s a council house. I could have it done but he quit his job last week & still looking for a new one so he won’t be going to work tomorrow

Get rid of him asap and sort out your benefits since he won't be living with you anymore and you will be entitled to more.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

You deserve so much more 💐

Well whether it's cheating, or doing drugs, or just repeatedly getting shitfaced drunk like a teenager, he's not behaving in a way that's befitting of a man with an eight week old baby at home, is he? He's showing you a massive amount of disrepect and his treating you with contempt.

I strongly suspect this is a man who cannot and will not change. The question is how long are you going to give it before you throw in the towel.

The more you post, the worse he sounds.

I feel sorry for my 10yo. (He’s not my partners) he’s complained about my partner since the start & said he hates him etc. maybe he’s a good judge of character. I wish everyone could telepathically communicate & understand how the last 3 years have been

Seriously? Not only has this man treated you like shit, but your poor son has been telling you all along that he is really uncomfortable and unhappy with having him in your home. yet you decided to have a baby with him anyway?

I feel sorry for your son too.

he’ll say that he says he hates me sometimes

Your son will say that he hates you, because he hates your total dick of a partner and you refuse to do anything about that. Your son feels angry and ignored.

I'm sorry you are going through this , but unless you are in immediate danger from him I doubt the police would come straight away if you phoned and said your partner won't leave the house.
They have more pressing things to do rather than watch a man pack , I also doubt they would pack / or remove his stuff for you.
I suggest a burly man / friend / relative comes round whilst you tell your partner to go.
Good luck .

He’s only said things like he’s so annoying for things like my partner moaning that my son left the cereal open or something. My son complains about a lot people me included. He’s never came & said too me I don’t want him here or I want him to leave etc otherwise that would be different

If you phone & say someone is in your house that’s not supposed to be & they won’t leave they normally come o have witnessed it myself

You should ring your housing trust they will give you advice and support and probably change the locks for you if you need it.

@Moonchild5

If you phone & say someone is in your house that’s not supposed to be & they won’t leave they normally come o have witnessed it myself

Maybe , but a bit of digging from them would soon tell them it's a partner / stbex
not a burglar .

I don’t mean make out as though it’s a burglar.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I definitely think he's cheated but regardless he's an awful man who isn't worthy of your love.

if you have found the room key just say that fell out of his pocket and ask if you can check his phone and wallet if he denies.

He took his jeans in to the kitchen & took the room key card out with him earlier to dispose of rather than put it in the bin. So strange I normally get upset & frantic when things like this happen I’m so calm & I don’t know why. Why heart started pounding when I found the receipt last night but otherwise calm

Tbh it wouldn't matter to me if he was cheating or not. The regularly staying out all night and not communicating would be issue enough for me.

This time was the final straw then found that receipt as I was going to bed & wondered if people thought he had cheated

Maybe you feel calmer because you've seen tangible proof now and he can't squirm out of it?

He's had a coked up night in a hotel with a hook-up or prostitute. It's obvious.

And not for the first time.

What a twat. Hopefully he leaves quickly. Make sure you don't let him win you over with excuses! Cheaters are very good at that.

Maybe. I always feel “crazy” but not this time I still can’t believe it

explains why he’s always skint

Not this time

update: I waited until my son was at school until I told him I knew & to leave etc he’s claiming he didn’t cheat apparently “he would do a better job of hiding the evidence” if he cheated & is glad I caught him out taking drugs as he needs help even though I’ve told him I know plenty of times