To not go on another date because of his car..

[bluebellmountain]

Met a guy OLD, we have been on 4 dates, twice we've met in public, once I picked him up to go out to eat and once I have been to his house. He seemed a great guy, we hit it off pretty quickly, I feel comfortable around him, he seems genuine and kind. Own house, good job etc.

I was out after work this evening to say goodbye to a colleague moving on, so id got a lift to work and was planning on getting a taxi home. This guy text to ask how I was etc and turns out he was nearby and heading to the gym so offered to drop me home, I was excited to see him so agreed.

He arrives to pick me up and my heart sank, his car was fine, a mondeo, pretty standard car but it had been modified to make that stupid noise when you accelerate, you know the kind of boy racer unnecessarily loud car. I got in and said wow that's rather noisy and he gave me some explanation as to what had been done to the car, how much it cost etc.. and it's really really put me off him.

I'm 35, he's 38, surly we're far too old to be driving round in a car like that. I was actually embarrassed to be in the car with everyone looking at every bang it made.

Am I an awful person, should I look past this? He was being nice and doing me a favour and all I could think of was getting out of there! Would this put you off someone who, granted I don't know well, but seems to be pretty good in every other area.

MN autocorrect removed the word ^t from my post

Good luck

NO, NO, NO and NO.

Sorry but this has made me giggle….I would have done the same however I think I would have actually said wtf is that 🤣

As much as I hate those cars good guys are hard to find so I might be prepared to overlook it.
I'd ask him point blank though why he thinks inflicting such noise on other people is a great idea??

You're only 4 dates in after all...

Absolutely not for me. Embarrassing, tragic, all of the words.

The type of car I mutter knobhead at as it's popping and spluttering away to attract 'attention'

I actually think you should tell him that you are considering not seeing him again because his exhaust is so embarrasingly wanky.

I wonder what he would say

If you do carry on seeing him you do realise he'll think it's because of his massive.....
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Exhaust 😀

It's not just a car. It's a car that has been modified to be as loud and obnoxious as possible. Only an inconsiderate knob would do this.

If you mean the pop/bang noise upon acceleration kind of mod, then no YANBU and I have second hand embarrassment for you, poor lass.

I wouldn't be caught dead in one as a teenager/early twenties, nevermind my thirties. Pretty much everyone in my circle rolls eyes/cringes when someone drives past in one of those things making that stupid noise.

Bit surprised at pp calling you shallow. How is it? It's not like you've been put off him because of his looks or something. It's perfectly reasonable. And also perfectly reasonable to not continue dating someone for whatever reason you want. I'd definitely have got the ick.

Like a pp said, it's what it signifies. Immaturity, lack of self awareness that everyone else finds it annoying and cringey etc and it's the complete opposite of the impressive influence owners of said modded cars think it is.

If you want to continue to see him because he has lots of good qualities great, I don't blame if you wanted to tell him you're not stepping foot in that car again though, and I'd have no qualms about (as kindly as I could) telling him exactly why. Same goes for if I didn't want to see him again - I'd probably tell him 'you're amazing but can't get past the cringey car mods sorry - you're nearly 40!'. It sounds like no one has ever told him.

I think they've all got some annoying habit, that I don't like.
Golf, fishing, playing guitar, collecting figures/ models, train spotting, marathon running, cycling, classic car rally, Bell ringing, football watching and playing, camping, hiking, boating, boxing, breeding ugly dogs.

I don't think I've ever met a guy that didn't do something I considered a complete waste of time and effort.
Some it put me off, some it didn't. If it puts you off then he's probably not for you.

Maybe, but he's male not female, so boy racer is appropriate... And many many more men/boys drive around in wanker-wagons than women.

I once went on a few dates with someone in their early 40s. Same thing with his car with the exhaust and he lowered it, modified it etc. Gave me the ick. He also wore a small man bag. Nope.

He's possibly having a midlife crisis and might get over it. But yeah, cringe.

It would be a deal breaker for me
Shows shallowness and immaturity

I know men who are very interested in cars as a hobby and it looks like they are driving something for attention but it's literally just their passion and hobby. I wouldn't ditch someone over this, I'd have a conversation about it first. Just be honest and say you find the attention embarrassing and see what he says.

I first thought your thread would just be about a basically crap car however YANBU. This man is a selfish show-off and frankly no-one wants to hear it.

I stopped dating a really nice man because I saw his car and it was a black golf with blacked out windows, red stripes stuck on the sides and had glowing lights underneath it so it looked like a UFO going down the street. Couldn't deal with it.

Yeah I’d be turned off too. It’s easy to say ‘but it’s just a car, he’s a nice guy’ but it’s what the car symbolises that would put me off.

I’ve never liked guys who are into cars. It’s like they don’t need a personality because they drive XYZ, that does ABC and costs £££.

Is he a nice bloke?
Do you like him?

Does his car really matter all that much?

As a car enthusiast I feel the need to defend this guy. Particularly when, with the greatest of respect, none of you know what you are actually talking about.

His “Mondeo” could be a 2.5T variant and the exhaust is actually adding to its performance. It would be quite a rare car, one which an enthusiast would appreciate. I doubt he has done it for the sole purpose of grabbing peoples attention.

Im lucky that I own a vast array of cars from an EV for my day to day to Porsches, Ferraris, classic cars and a few other cars that many of you would probably see it as an attention seeking car.

Everyone of my cars I have worked my ass off for. I don’t own them because of what other people think, I own them because they bring me joy. I have met life long friends through, they have been great investments usually too. I enjoy modifying and tinkering with them and they look great to me and that’s all that matters.

They are actually one of the great motivators I had in life to do well, so I could afford to own them and some of the cars I own now are cars I lusted after as a teenager, dreaming that one day I could get my hands on one.

I earn triple figures a year, happily married, self made and very much ambitious. It’s a hobby that only adults can participate in and afford. I can assure you I am a perfectly normal (or as normal as anyone can be, the definition of that may vary from person to person).

My wife isn’t a fan of them all, a few I know she is a little embarrassed of, but she is happy that it brings me so much joy.

So maybe give this guy a chance, rather than deciding his motivations for doing so, maybe take a little interest in what he is passionate about and you might understand it a little better.

A loud car is no more inconsiderate than those cycling clubs blocking up the roads or horses doing the same. A minor inconvenience that’s no big deal really.

Particularly when, with the greatest of respect, none of you know what you are actually talking about.
😂😂😂 Funny guy.

When something has been modified to make as much noise as possible then it's antisocial wanker territory. Nothing more, nothing less. We all know it.

Curtains for me

I don't find it important for myself but I have found that's it's a giveaway on personality. I ask it of every new person I meet!