To not go on another date because of his car..

[bluebellmountain]

Met a guy OLD, we have been on 4 dates, twice we've met in public, once I picked him up to go out to eat and once I have been to his house. He seemed a great guy, we hit it off pretty quickly, I feel comfortable around him, he seems genuine and kind. Own house, good job etc.

I was out after work this evening to say goodbye to a colleague moving on, so id got a lift to work and was planning on getting a taxi home. This guy text to ask how I was etc and turns out he was nearby and heading to the gym so offered to drop me home, I was excited to see him so agreed.

He arrives to pick me up and my heart sank, his car was fine, a mondeo, pretty standard car but it had been modified to make that stupid noise when you accelerate, you know the kind of boy racer unnecessarily loud car. I got in and said wow that's rather noisy and he gave me some explanation as to what had been done to the car, how much it cost etc.. and it's really really put me off him.

I'm 35, he's 38, surly we're far too old to be driving round in a car like that. I was actually embarrassed to be in the car with everyone looking at every bang it made.

Am I an awful person, should I look past this? He was being nice and doing me a favour and all I could think of was getting out of there! Would this put you off someone who, granted I don't know well, but seems to be pretty good in every other area.

It'd put me off, too. Someone who wants to do something like that to a car is unlikely to have matching goals and ideals with me.

I think cars as a hobby is way preferable to cycling or golf.

At least he's not wanking around in Lycra and padded shorts.

wanking around in lycra? @tbtf 😆

It would be a ‘No’ from me.
I would have told him how embarrassed I was at the time. If you continue to date him, tell him that you won’t be seen dead in his car again.

My first serious boyfriend at age 16-18 was this type; lusting after and spending most of his spare cash on his Escort XR3i…..an utter waste when he proceeded to wrap it round a tree 6 weeks after buying and upgrading it, trying (and failing) to race a souped up Sierra with me in the car next to him.

He made sure I’ll never forget him though….my chronic back and neck issues are a regular reminder of the tw@t.

My DH is a petrol head too, but thankfully is more into bikes, quads and high end performance cars vs the DIY/amateur project style ones.

To be honest, provided he isn’t attending (and wanting you to join him at) any ‘Max Power’ style car meets at a random DFS car park in Stoke on a rainy Saturday night with the other boy racers doing donuts and showing off their big bore exhausts and new, brightly coloured brake callipers, then I wouldn’t consider this a dealbreaker.

For me its more that he doesnt seem to have grown out of what is quite a common phase. A lot of young men like to soup up their crappy little hatchback to pretend that it is a lot more powerful and sporty than it actually is. Annoying yes but crucially, they grow out of it. The fact that at 38 he hasnt grown out of it and that this seemingly perfect man is still very single suggests that he has arrested development in that department and there will be other things making themselves clear soon.

What is his favourite restaurant, cuisine and band? That should be illuminating.

I'd take a cyclist over a pimped exhaust any day. No contest. Cars as a hobby is great...they can fix my car. Boy racer exhaust, nope. No thank you. No.

It's embarrassing enough in younger men but for a man approaching forty, its utterly tragic.

Yep it would give me the ick big time. I just couldn’t date a boy racer

Is the type of anti social noise that makes people wince?

I was at a bus stop recently and a car came by that was so loud, everyone jumped out of their skin and a couple of people shouted "wanker".

In London, surrounded by noise.

I couldn't get past the lack of consideration for others.

How was his driving @bluebellmountain? Did he drive like a boy racer too?

Oh no how cringe! 😳

If he’s a nice guy though I’d look past it and avoid using his car.

It's his hobby clearly. And that car must be his pride and joy. He wouldn't have realised it would give you the ice, poor bloke thinks it's a babe magnet. But if he's ticking all the boxes otherwise, you enjoy his company and actually like him..... ask yourself, can you look beyond this?

I'd be gone. Every time I hear a car doing that I immediately think "fucking bellend". I don't understand the point of it at all? I don't know a single person who hears it and thinks "wow how amazing", completely bizarre.

Ick

Maybe, but you could snap up a bargain here if that's the only issue with him. I'd put up with a noisy exhaust for a kind man.

Besides, his car could always accidentally suffer a random mechanical failure from being set at by a spanner...

He should have grown out of this attention seeking phase by now and the fact that he hasn't doesn't bode well for the future. I would walk away too.

I wish you'd said, "Are you not worried that everyone will think you're an absolute prick?"

@PyongyangKipperbang "What is his favourite restaurant, cuisine and band? That should be illuminating."

interesting that you find that important. Funny how things turn out (I remember chatting to you about single joy on another thread).

I would be put off.

Grim, bin him.

Ive got a neighbour with one of these and I have trying to pluck up the courage to say that to him for ages!

Seriously though , anyone doing that to their car is prepared to annoy loads of people around him, just to get a rush/kudos with his mates. It is a childish, inconsiderate and self-regarding thing to do, which would make me think he was a bit if a w*nker.

A car like that would instantly put me off. Couldn't get over a man of almost 40 needing to prove himself with his Big Loud Zroom-zroom Engine. If he was 8 it would be cute, but thirty years later...?

Foul.

Mmm no, he wasn't racing around, his driving was pretty steady but even so, the noise.. the attention.. I don't think I can hack it.

On reflection, I do think it's swayed me into thinking our values just wouldn't align. I feel like it's immature. There must be other things that will crop up that match with this.

I don't want to do all the driving, I want an equal. I don't want it to all fall onto me.