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Original poster

To not go on another date because of his car..

283 replies

bluebellmountain · 01/09/2023 20:46

Met a guy OLD, we have been on 4 dates, twice we've met in public, once I picked him up to go out to eat and once I have been to his house. He seemed a great guy, we hit it off pretty quickly, I feel comfortable around him, he seems genuine and kind. Own house, good job etc.

I was out after work this evening to say goodbye to a colleague moving on, so id got a lift to work and was planning on getting a taxi home. This guy text to ask how I was etc and turns out he was nearby and heading to the gym so offered to drop me home, I was excited to see him so agreed.

He arrives to pick me up and my heart sank, his car was fine, a mondeo, pretty standard car but it had been modified to make that stupid noise when you accelerate, you know the kind of boy racer unnecessarily loud car. I got in and said wow that's rather noisy and he gave me some explanation as to what had been done to the car, how much it cost etc.. and it's really really put me off him.

I'm 35, he's 38, surly we're far too old to be driving round in a car like that. I was actually embarrassed to be in the car with everyone looking at every bang it made.

Am I an awful person, should I look past this? He was being nice and doing me a favour and all I could think of was getting out of there! Would this put you off someone who, granted I don't know well, but seems to be pretty good in every other area.

OP posts:
Bored1000 · 01/09/2023 22:03

I wouldn’t not go on another date with him over this ( even though I wouldn’t like it either) as it’s something that can be easily fixed, …..he gets rid of the car if you do end up dating for a long time.
it sounds like he has a lot of good qualities and no one is perfect after all ….I’m sure yourself included

SquirrelFeeder · 01/09/2023 22:04

Simbaiamyourfather · 01/09/2023 21:08

My husband 38m just traded in his very sensible Audi estate and got a Subaru WRX. It's actually ridiculous and very noisy but it makes him so happy. He and our teenage son love working on it and he's started enjoying his comute to work again. Personally it's not for me but it's definitely not a deal breaker 😂

Edited

Early mid life crisis 😆 Oh dear. I'd refuse to be seen in one of them. Yikes

Hooplahooping · 01/09/2023 22:13

As PPs have said. There is no undoing the ick. I think this is dead in the water…

TheGoodBanana · 01/09/2023 22:17

My ex had one of these I think it was an Astra but I could be wrong, The Red Rocket he used to call it, he was also 38.

We used my car, without fail. I got him added to my insurance pretty soon after we started dating exclusively because I hated being in that car!

Things didn't work out because he definitely was stuck in his early 20s in other ways too, clubbing for entire weekend, bad cocaine habit, used to play his decks in his spare room.

Just wasn't for me that one.

Velvian · 01/09/2023 22:17

It would put me off too. As well as smacking of immaturity, it is also dull and lacking imagination. I mean a Ford Mondeo is about the most boring car imaginable.

However, I feel equal contempt for the man a few doors away that gets his Lamborghini (sp?) out on a Saturday. It's like a knob alert as soon as the key turns in the ignition. Also if you can afford a supercar, why are you living in a 3 bed house on a housing estate??

Rockbird · 01/09/2023 22:19

Oh dear. How dare someone as old as...gasp...38 do something they like to their own car. Fucksake.

HennyPenny1234 · 01/09/2023 22:21

Boy racer is a very sexist term

Lots of women modify cars too, used to work with one

beatrix1234 · 01/09/2023 22:22

I’d be embarrassed. I don’t think I would be able to get passed this. Unless of course he’s super kind, good looking, able to hold a conversation, good in bed, has a good relationship with his mother and can cook.

harerunner · 01/09/2023 22:27

It doesn't matter how others feel.... but the ick js real, and once you've felt it Noom a big way, you can't ignore jt. It would
be a dealbreaker for me.

harerunner · 01/09/2023 22:30

Rockbird · 01/09/2023 22:19

Oh dear. How dare someone as old as...gasp...38 do something they like to their own car. Fucksake.

He can do what he likes, but he can't expect women not to be turned off by it... similar to if he wore a monicle or lederhosen or had a face tattoo - sure he has every right to do that, but there are consequences!

JaneIntheBox · 01/09/2023 22:31

Burnoutqueen · 01/09/2023 21:19

When I see/ hear cars like that I always imagine the driver has the IQ of a toilet brush and is the sort of chap responsible for spreading chlamydia through year 10. Was he also wearing a tracksuit and smelt of lynx Africa and cannabis resin?

this is so funny, you have a cracking wit!

PinkB87 · 01/09/2023 22:31

I'm 36, I drive a pink and white modified Audi. I'm a professional mum of 2. I can do both of those things... to be "boy racers" are the type you see around McDonald's who are in their teens/20s and piss about. People like me are car enthusiasts. We just love cars.

Chickenwing2 · 01/09/2023 22:32

My dh's ancient car started making similar noises because it was faulty. He loved it and I was absolutely mortified. In your shoes I'd have laughed at/with this man or made a joke about him being a boy racer.

JaneIntheBox · 01/09/2023 22:35

HennyPenny1234 · 01/09/2023 22:21

Boy racer is a very sexist term

Lots of women modify cars too, used to work with one

I've certainly seen people use the term 'girl racer'.
Boy/girl meant to show immaturity. Not sexist stereotyping. 'Child racer' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Dungeonsandwagons · 01/09/2023 22:38

Fuck no. You can’t have sex with that

Dunnoburt · 01/09/2023 22:38

Ick 🤮

NudeLouboutins · 01/09/2023 22:39

Or… The guy is just unapologetically himself. It’s what he likes and he doesn’t feel like he needs to conform with society’s ideas of ‘what 38 looks like’ or be someone he is not with the objective of attracting women.

He can still be mature and responsible in other ways.

I used to date someone like that and it was fun, seeing how much he knew about cars etc. Nice to see someone be passionate about something. It’s just not for everyone

Whataretheodds · 01/09/2023 22:40

kitsuneghost · 01/09/2023 20:58

My big issue is that these people spend a lot on their car and modifying a car rather than saving for house, retirement, savings etc.. would put me right off.

And that he's gone to time effort and expense of doing that, which is incredibly antisocial and a bit pointless when you're nowhere near an autobahn, rather than doing something useful.

GirlOfTudor · 01/09/2023 22:41

Good god. It's just a car. If it's turned you off him, then don't waste any more of his time. If you can look past it, then great! I'm sure there's something he's found out about you that's made him think twice!

k1233 · 01/09/2023 22:41

Yeah, no one wants to hear your heap of crap going up the road. There is a HUGE difference between the purr and rumble of a performance engine and a shit box with noise amplifiers. One is a sound of beauty, they other a high pitched tinny wine, pretty much what I imagine the owners sound like.

I'm with you OP. Not only is the sound offensive to me, it shows lack of consideration for others that you happily inflict that racket on them.

ohyesohyesoh · 01/09/2023 22:41

My friends & I used to have this same convo ..:what if you found 'The One' but he had a shite car ?? We all said no way. It would put us off. Sorry

youhavenoshameonyourface · 01/09/2023 22:42

Nothings makes me say in my head more often than a car with a souped up exhaust making that racket, and motorcycles.

It would be a rock hard no from me.

Original poster
bluebellmountain · 01/09/2023 22:42

He's asked me if I want to do something tomorrow. It's taken me so long to make up my mind but I've decided to go and see how I feel, I'll know pretty quick if I can move on from it, if not I will end it there and then rather than drag it out wondering if I can or can't get past it

OP posts:
Saysoe · 01/09/2023 22:43

It would put me off.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 01/09/2023 22:44

A 38 year old teenager!
I'm very much live and let live, but that would massively put me off

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