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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To not go on another date because of his car..

283 replies

bluebellmountain · 01/09/2023 20:46

Met a guy OLD, we have been on 4 dates, twice we've met in public, once I picked him up to go out to eat and once I have been to his house. He seemed a great guy, we hit it off pretty quickly, I feel comfortable around him, he seems genuine and kind. Own house, good job etc.

I was out after work this evening to say goodbye to a colleague moving on, so id got a lift to work and was planning on getting a taxi home. This guy text to ask how I was etc and turns out he was nearby and heading to the gym so offered to drop me home, I was excited to see him so agreed.

He arrives to pick me up and my heart sank, his car was fine, a mondeo, pretty standard car but it had been modified to make that stupid noise when you accelerate, you know the kind of boy racer unnecessarily loud car. I got in and said wow that's rather noisy and he gave me some explanation as to what had been done to the car, how much it cost etc.. and it's really really put me off him.

I'm 35, he's 38, surly we're far too old to be driving round in a car like that. I was actually embarrassed to be in the car with everyone looking at every bang it made.

Am I an awful person, should I look past this? He was being nice and doing me a favour and all I could think of was getting out of there! Would this put you off someone who, granted I don't know well, but seems to be pretty good in every other area.

OP posts:
LovingMyLiver · 01/09/2023 21:12

Does it have flames stuck on the sides in vinyl? :-)

Ibetthatyoulookgoodon · 01/09/2023 21:13

Simbaiamyourfather · 01/09/2023 21:08

My husband 38m just traded in his very sensible Audi estate and got a Subaru WRX. It's actually ridiculous and very noisy but it makes him so happy. He and our teenage son love working on it and he's started enjoying his comute to work again. Personally it's not for me but it's definitely not a deal breaker 😂

Edited

I’d say this is different. I’d have no issue with someone who was genuinely interested in cars and liked doing work on them. Subaru’s are quite loud but they are not shit cars and they don’t scream ‘attention seeker’ necessarily. My issue with what the OP has described would be that (as far as I understand it) modifying the exhaust does nothing to improve the performance of the car, it’s all about how it sounds and the image it creates. That would really turn me off because I would wonder why they are looking for attention from strangers to make them feel good about themselves.

DatingDinosaur · 01/09/2023 21:14

They usually drive by too fast to get any attention round where I live. Which makes it even more pointless IMHO.

ToughFuss · 01/09/2023 21:16

Yea, nah I’d not see him again either 🤣 embarrassing pretending to be a bloody boy racer at 38 😬

DisforDarkChocolate · 01/09/2023 21:16

Oh I'd hate this, getting the ick wouldn't cover how clamped up I'd feel.

I could not have his this.

Blankscreen · 01/09/2023 21:17

It's too cringey. I would be mortified getting in it.

I'd have to tell him and then move on.

SweetAndSourChick3n · 01/09/2023 21:18

A mid 30s boy racer would be a total turn off for me

Burnoutqueen · 01/09/2023 21:19

When I see/ hear cars like that I always imagine the driver has the IQ of a toilet brush and is the sort of chap responsible for spreading chlamydia through year 10. Was he also wearing a tracksuit and smelt of lynx Africa and cannabis resin?

TarquinOliverNimrod · 01/09/2023 21:19

You lost me at Mondeo

🏃🏽‍♀️ 🏃🏽‍♀️ 🏃🏽‍♀️

Dottheeye · 01/09/2023 21:19

@bluebellmountain yes this would put me off him too. I just wouldn’t be attracted to a guy in his late 30s acting like he was 21. It would also make me wonder what else he has a 21 year old mindset about 🥴

abyssofwoah · 01/09/2023 21:20

I mean I wouldn’t be impressed but I’d not write off a good guy I hit it off with because he’s a bit of a car wanker.

The whole ‘ick’ thing is BS if you ask me.

DatingDinosaur · 01/09/2023 21:20

I'm still undecided whether it's a dumpable offence. It would depend how he took the mickey-taking I think.

bluebellmountain · 01/09/2023 21:20

Oh I feel even more guilty and awful with you all agreeing with me. Is this the reason why this seemingly 'perfect' guy is single....

OP posts:
TarquinOliverNimrod · 01/09/2023 21:21

Subaru’s are quite loud but they are not shit cars and they don’t scream ‘attention seeker’ necessarily

They totally do! Awful, awful cars

Stratocumulus · 01/09/2023 21:21

kitsuneghost · 01/09/2023 20:58

My big issue is that these people spend a lot on their car and modifying a car rather than saving for house, retirement, savings etc.. would put me right off.

This! ^
Don’t go there.
You’ve got the ick. Listen to your gut.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/09/2023 21:22

When I see/ hear cars like that I always imagine the driver has the IQ of a toilet brush

Exactly how I feel. Who else but a absolute pillock would drive around in something so stupid and obnoxious?

msbevvy · 01/09/2023 21:23

RedHelenB · 01/09/2023 21:07

Think you're being really shallow and mean seeing as he was doing you a favour. Yabu

Surely it is more shallow to waste money on making your car make a stupid noise that disturbs everyone?

Paq · 01/09/2023 21:23

38??? Nooooo.... my 18 yo neighbour's mates have done that to their cars, a man more than double their age? Run!

bluebellmountain · 01/09/2023 21:24

Burnoutqueen · 01/09/2023 21:19

When I see/ hear cars like that I always imagine the driver has the IQ of a toilet brush and is the sort of chap responsible for spreading chlamydia through year 10. Was he also wearing a tracksuit and smelt of lynx Africa and cannabis resin?

I think the same! But no, there were absolutely no red flags to suggest this may be an issue.
He has a respectable office job, wears a suit to work, I've not seen a track suit!

OP posts:
pictoosh · 01/09/2023 21:27

Oooh no. I'd be morto being seen in one of those. He clearly loves it though. Do me a favour before you ditch him...please ask him what it is he gets out of his car making that noise.
It so happens we were discussing this the other night and we were all baffled by the appeal of it and why anyone would seek to make a bellend of themselves driving around like that.
I'd love to know.

WandaWonder · 01/09/2023 21:28

I would think would it be OK for a bloke to break up with me because of my handbag or some other trivial thing about me?

ActDottie · 01/09/2023 21:28

I’d get the ick too!!

pictoosh · 01/09/2023 21:29

WandaWonder · 01/09/2023 21:28

I would think would it be OK for a bloke to break up with me because of my handbag or some other trivial thing about me?

The answer is, it would. After four dates it's fine to walk away.

AutumnCrow · 01/09/2023 21:30

WandaWonder · 01/09/2023 21:28

I would think would it be OK for a bloke to break up with me because of my handbag or some other trivial thing about me?

Exactly how noisy is your handbag?

Mummy08m · 01/09/2023 21:35

Oh, the elaborate curses I've wished on this kind of noisy car every time my hard-of-napping dd was woken up by one.

My DH is a quiet man. My favourite kind of man is seen but not heard.

A man who wants to intrude his noisy presence on unconsenting ears is a selfish thoughtless man.

Just look at that recent thread about noisy husbands clumping round the house slamming doors and hoiking phlegm. This is a bazillion times worse because the whole street is bothered.

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