If you were born in the 90's was it normal for your parents to hit you?

[Avelora]

Or if you were a parent to young children then was it acceptable?

I was born in the mid 90's, and after recently going no contact with my parents I'm trying to unpick some of the things that happened and why I feel the way I do. Both parents, but particularly my dad used to smack us both a lot, and I don't just mean a tap on the hand or clip round the ear kind of thing. Punches on the arms or thighs, pinching us, slaps round the face, smacking us with a shoehorn, banging our heads together if we argued. It happened a lot more to me than it did to my brother

My mum was a lot more emotionally abusive rather than physically. If we ever did anything wrong or if she fell out with my dad she would give the silent treatment and not speak to us for days. She once didn't speak to me for 2 weeks

Obviously I know things were different 20-30 years ago, but I'm just trying to deal with it all as obviously all these feelings have come to the surface recently

No, not normal in the 90s. But I bet it was more normal when they were children, even in schools my Ddad remembers getting caned in the 70s and they were probably carrying on what their parents did to them, not that that makes it OK but physical discipline was common for many people.

There’s a big difference between a smack and what you endured

I grew up around the odd smack and it really was the last resort and it would never be a punch!

You have described a highly abusive environment and I hope that you are no longer suffering

I was born in 1990 and it wasn't usual to be smacked. I had it a few times if my parents lost their tempers (usually just my DF). It would only ever be a smack on the bottom. I knew someone (born 1980s) that got a slap round the face. That always shocked me, that any parents would do that😒

I was born in the late 70s and this was not normal then. If this had happened to a friend we would have all been so shocked at the time and probably told a teacher or advised our friend to call child line. Well done for going no contact

Myself and my brother are late 80s / early 90s babies and were smacked or hit with a slipper. So yes, going by my experience it was normal.

Absolutely not. Never. I'm sorry this is what you experienced.

It was vaguely acceptable for a tap on the leg in those days but nothing more violent.

No, I was born in the 90s and my parents never hit us. I don't know anyone who was smacked as a form of punishment who is around my age. So from my experience, I would say it wasn't normal.

I'm so sorry for what you endured. I hope you are able to find some closure.

Born in 1991 and was smacked quite a lot (usually by my mum in temper, never my dad).

It’s really damaged my relationship with her, and what you endured sounds far worse.

My sister was born in the 00s and was never smacked.

I hate early to mid 90s children I never hit them . Although smacked bottoms were common and not unusual

I was born in the 80s and was smacked but what that meant was on very rare occasions (maybe 3 times ever) when I was really naughty or doing something dangerous then I was smacked a couple of times on the bottom. It hurt but honestly not much. Nothing at all like you describe. Yours would have been looked at with horror in the 80s I think. Obviously that's just my experience.

I was born very end of 70’s and got wooden spoon, smacked, backhanders from mum/grandma when you think about it is horrible!!! My mum once couldn’t find the wooden spoon and hit me on the thigh with a metal spoon. I suffered abuse from my daf
but seems in those days hitting was the alternative to actually parenting. They were just nasty rage filled bitches who thought they were teaching me something by taking their physical frustrations out on a child.

Op what you experienced was child abuse that wasn't normal.

I was smacked fairly often. Got the wooden spoon a few times

It happened to me, born in the mid 80s. Slapped in the face, dragged by hair etc. Didn't happen to my sibling born mid 90s from what I know, but maybe because I was there watching, and also they went to a childminder and I did a lot of childcare so it wasn't just young parents struggling to cope alone?

My mother, born in the 60s, was treated the same, I think it continues in private until someone breaks the cycle.

I was born in 1992 and was smacked quite regularly as were all my cousins and siblings. If a child was seen misbehaving it was very much commented on that “that child needs a good smack” and certainly within my parents peer group they were quite scathing of parents who didn’t smack their children!

No, it wasn't. There was pressure to keep on doing it from some (absolutely not a class thing, either), but even before you described absolutely abuse even in the context of those who would say it was acceptable to smack, it wasn't the case that everybody did it.

Never

No, I’m a little bit older and was smacked 3 times. They really stand out in my memory as it was so unusual. 2/3 I was a teenager and with hindsight very much pushing the boundaries

Yeah, it was pretty common. However always a smack on the bum or back of the thigh with a hand or something like a hairbrush. I don't remember ever being scared of it escalating like it sounds you were, it was always clearly a punishment for a specific thing. Sounds like your parents were vicious bullies.

I was born late 80s and I think I was smacked once, and that was a real shock to me - mum only did it out of panic I think because I put myself in a dangerous situation. My cousins who are the same age though used to get slapped pretty much every day, and sometimes an actual beating. It was awful to see it as a kid. And my husband who is also the same age still has scarring from his mum pinching him. So I don't know if your experience was unusual but that doesn't make it ok

I was 80s and used to get slapped and put in a cupboard if I was ‘ naughty ‘ or put in my room for 24 hours.
it’s all relative isn’t it. In my head my experience was just ‘ normal ‘ Among me and my friends. Yours sounds horrific.

No. My parents, born in the 50s, weren’t hit either. I know it wasn’t generally seen as a problem back then, but it also wasn’t a regular thing in all families either.

I was born in the 60’s DH 50’s, he was smacked at home /cane at school. We both had teachers who would throw the blackboard rubber at us and sent to the corner. I was smacked rarely at home for something really bad always my mum hand on bottom but not hard and only when very little, my dad was whipped by his dad for the slightest thing and never raised his hand to me but did occasionally to my brothers- again slipper on bottom. But I can’t say any of us were beaten.

we had children in the 70’s, we slapped on bottom for really really bad I should say maybe once per child ! Slap on back of hand was more common, quick instant for something wrong which could cause them or someone else harm. I went with my dads approach a talking to and discussion about the behaviour is far worst than a slapped hand.

what you received was abuse, like I said my father had the same, doesn’t mean history will repeat he was a good father to me and my brothers.

Born in 81. One smack if we'd ignored multiple warnings. I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm not traumatised by it.