If you were born in the 90's was it normal for your parents to hit you?

[Avelora]

Or if you were a parent to young children then was it acceptable?

I was born in the mid 90's, and after recently going no contact with my parents I'm trying to unpick some of the things that happened and why I feel the way I do. Both parents, but particularly my dad used to smack us both a lot, and I don't just mean a tap on the hand or clip round the ear kind of thing. Punches on the arms or thighs, pinching us, slaps round the face, smacking us with a shoehorn, banging our heads together if we argued. It happened a lot more to me than it did to my brother

My mum was a lot more emotionally abusive rather than physically. If we ever did anything wrong or if she fell out with my dad she would give the silent treatment and not speak to us for days. She once didn't speak to me for 2 weeks

Obviously I know things were different 20-30 years ago, but I'm just trying to deal with it all as obviously all these feelings have come to the surface recently

I'm early 90s and I remember getting a couple of smacks on the bottom, but literally 2-3 in my childhood.

Sorry - had children in the 90 not 70 🙄

To be honest some little shits today could use a smack!

No it wasn't! DS was born Jan 96. I would never have smacked him, neither has DH. I once tapped his hand away from a plug socket that he was about to stick a fork in but that was shock.

Born in the 80s. Never smacked. Apparently an older relative once goaded my dad into giving my brother a snack and he still feels guilty.

I started teaching at this time and no, it wasn’t normal. Did you ever talk about it with friends? Tell teachers? Did anyone notice bruises or marks on your arms?

This isn’t a solitary slap on the bottom, this is child abuse and would have been a huge thing if we’d known about it.

I was born in the late 70s and was only smacked once on the bottom/leg, I mean I remember it well as it’s the only time my dad ever lost his temper. But only once.

Sorry for what you endured, that’s awful.

I was born in the mid 80s and used to get smacked. My brother was born in the early 90s and didn't.

Never laid a finger on us - either of them - that was in the 60s. They weren't hippy or peace loving. Just wasn't their style. We were told off if we'd done something wrong and left under no illusion about it.

A friend in the 60s received similar treatment to you - I think it sounded highly abusive and you can see how it has affected her and her sister.

Pretty common for my siblings but not myself. They were 70s babies I was a 80s.

What you are describing in your childhood is child abuse. Nothing whatsoever to do with the decade in which you were born. None of that is your fault
and this is all on them. Am also glad to read that you are no longer in any form of contact with them, let it remain so. If you are in the UK do consider contacting NAPAC.

Mine were born in 94 and 98.

I remember smacking DS lightly on the back of the hand when he was about 2.5 on the third occasion that he pulled open the freezer door, had been asked not to do it twice, and the third freezer full of food was wrecked. He didn't do it again.

They both got a smack each when being incredibly silly in the bath and despite several warnings. A tap on the thigh. They were about 3 and 6.

DD once got a smack in the heat of the moment when she hit ds over the head with a toy filled with stones. He was sitting quietly minding his own business.

That was it although there was lot of sitting on the stair and withholding of their sweetie ration.

@Avelora I am sorry for the way your parents behaved. That was abusive imo.

No, I have no memories of being smacked by my parents growing up, born 1990. If we ever were I don't remember it. I'm sure I probably had a few clips round the ear but as I said, no actual memory of it.

I do remember my nain coming after us with a wooden spoon when we sailed our little brother down the creek in a baby bath, but I think we probably deserved that.

Thank you everyone, it's interesting to hear different opinions and experiences. I just always thought it was normal when I was growing up and that it was how parents behaved, but now we're at the point of thinking about having our own and I just can't even comprehend treating a child that way

Actually I might have given dc1 a few bottom smacks not many and I stopped because smacking is pointless.

Born late 90's and endured smacks to the bum and a smack on the top of the head but never anything malicious. I most certainly didn't grow up to be traumatised from it

Born in the early 60's and was never hit by my parents. Had my kids in the 90's and they were never hit either.

Both my parents came from fairly abusive backgrounds and made a deliberate choice to parent differently.

I was born in the early 70s. It wasn't normal then OP.

I'm sorry your parents treated you that way.

I was born in the 90’s and smacked quite a lot, not punches etc but a slap around the back of the head or legs. Yours sounds more extreme and definitely not ok

it was, but that does not justify it. I've had friends whose parents did not hit them, and even back then parents tried to hide the fact they were hitting their children, despite the greater social acceptance for this form of punishment. So everyone knew it was wrong.

I was born in the 80s and no they never smacked/hit me.

Born in the mid 60s and was smacked by parents and teachers.

My DS was born in 1991 and I never smacked him. ExDH smacked him once (very lightly by 1970s standards) and I told him we’d leave if he ever smacked him again. (He didn’t - he was horrified at himself).

It was commonplace then to see parents slapping their children in public though.

I was born in late 80s and smacked in the 90s, just a smack bottom though. Nothing like you describe, that sounds horrible

Mine were born in the 90s and we didn’t smack , but I was born in the 60s and my parents didn’t smack either .

My DC were born in the 90s and were never smacked. By the 90s it was generally understood to be unacceptable.