If you were born in the 90's was it normal for your parents to hit you?

[Avelora]

Or if you were a parent to young children then was it acceptable?

I was born in the mid 90's, and after recently going no contact with my parents I'm trying to unpick some of the things that happened and why I feel the way I do. Both parents, but particularly my dad used to smack us both a lot, and I don't just mean a tap on the hand or clip round the ear kind of thing. Punches on the arms or thighs, pinching us, slaps round the face, smacking us with a shoehorn, banging our heads together if we argued. It happened a lot more to me than it did to my brother

My mum was a lot more emotionally abusive rather than physically. If we ever did anything wrong or if she fell out with my dad she would give the silent treatment and not speak to us for days. She once didn't speak to me for 2 weeks

Obviously I know things were different 20-30 years ago, but I'm just trying to deal with it all as obviously all these feelings have come to the surface recently

I was born in the 80s, smacked in the face by my mum about 5-8 times in total when I didn’t listen. Also got locked into my room. My mum would be considered a calm and friendly person by everyone around, highly intelligent and university educated. People didn’t see much wrong with the hitting and my mum said it was only ever the last resort when I didn’t want to listen.

I posted too soon. Op, you were abused. That is not acceptable at any time!

I would be made to hold my hands out and they'd be hit if I was naughty, one parent also lost their temper a few times and would smack me round the face several times / push me and scream in my face.

I didn't get the silent treatment, but my mum would do things like not cook dinner for me if she was angry at me and just cook it for my sister / herself.

It definitely affected our relationship because I never felt able to talk to her about issues or problems in case she got angry, so I just never told her anything important and found others to get support from.

Born mid 80s and just a smack on the bottom. What you described is completely different, sorry you had to go through this

I am late 80's and nobody ever hit me or my sister as a child.

I was born early 90s, never smacked.

I remember my mum grabbing me very hard by the shoulder once when I was about 7 when I went to run across a road without looking. I cried but mainly because I was embarrassed that I had been silly.

My similarly aged cousins were regularly smacked by their father who was an angry, scary man. My parents didn’t let us go to their house without them.

Sorry, this doesn't make sense. You say you didn't hit them but smacked their bottoms? Or that you didn't but it was common generally?

Because 'smacking' and 'hitting' are the same thing here, if it's the former.

Gosh @thishasnotmyweek that is truly horrible. Not cooking for a child! I have often lost my temper with my DC and shouted- which I regret and have tried to do better- but I would never deprive them of food or money.

Working class / middle class will be a factor in the answers here, I think.

Born in the 90's. Not normal to my knowledge

I was born in the early 90s and was certainly treated similarly to you, smacks definitely left marks and we were chased through the house with a wooden hairbrush. My mother swears blind now that she didn’t but we all remember it very clearly! Like you I thought it was normal!

I think she means it was normal for other people but she didn't do it

It would have been very unusual to be hit but I do remember the occasional smacked bottom which didn’t really hurt but was more embarrassing really and a sign we’d gone too far.

I was born in 1995 and I’m sorry but no that’s not normal, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. Like a PP have said there’s a difference between a smack on the bum and what you describe. I remember my brother and I getting smacked on the bum once in our whole childhood (separate occasions!).

Wishing you luck moving forward.

Yes, we were smacked. My step siblings got worse, they were belted and more beaten than smacked.

I just depends on the parents, I was born in the 60s and my parents never hit nor shouted at us.

What do people mean by a smack? Open hand below the shoulders? Is around the head or face still a smack? What about a wooden spoon? Autistic 80s child trying to figure out what people mean.

I was born in the 60's and was never smacked, ever. My parents didn't believe in it . Occasionally I'd hear of kids at school getting the cane - my DH said he got the cane in the 70's but only once in his entire school career , and one cut on the hand only . He survived quite well ! My kids were born in the 80's and they were also never smacked .

Born mid 90s. I apparently got a smacked bottom a few times as a small child but I don't remember it. We had older relatives give us a clip around the ear at fairly regular intervals when we were a bit older.

I had friends at school for whom it was more normal, and a couple of South Asian friends in particular who spoke about getting quite frequent corporal punishment, even as teenagers.

I was born in the mid 70's and was never smacked or hit or anything by my parents. Neither were my 2 older siblings. I didn't hear or ever see it happen to any of my friends either, apart from one friend who told me she was hit occasionally by her mam with a wooden spoon. But not very hard.

What you're describing is abuse. Awful abuse. Your parents were abusive bullies. I'm so sorry you went through that and I hope you can come to terms with it. Maybe counselling might help.

We got the occasional smack, as did a lot of my peers.
But what you're describing isn't the occasional smack and certainly wasn't normal.

I was born in the early 1960s and I was hit once. Neither my mother or I ever forgot it. And it was a smack, and I can safely say I deserved it! She still felt guilty about it 50 years later.

I was also frequently hit for autistic behaviour.

My kids were born in the late 1990s. No it wasn’t normal even then. I did come across a child minder and a nanny who slapped kids hands but not normalised apart from that.

I was shut in my room frequently which was okay if it was my dad because if you stayed there and were quiet you'd be fine and when he was back everything was okay again and forgotten. If it was my mother I would hide under the bed.