Boyfriend said I need to start behaving before he proposes

[LouLo2121]

My boyfriend has made this comment a few times ‘that I need to start behaving’ before he proposes (we’ve been together 3 years, lived together for 1.5).

for some context, I'm very respectful towards him, I cook clean, doing all the washing and go 50/50 with most things money wise, he also lives in my house.

i do get emotional and sometimes say mean things in the heat of the moment. Me ‘behaving’ means getting less emotional and not calling him out on anything.

do I really need to be with someone that wants me to ‘behave’ in order for him to propose?

If you kick him out you will suddenly become the most desired and marriageable woman in the world. He will love bomb you until the wedding, and will then revert to form.

Do yourself a favour, learn to love yourself before you begin to think of loving anybody else.

Also, when you ignore our advice, marry him, and realise what a mistake it is, remember that it is okay to leave the relationship at any point. You don’t have to stay with him just because you made the mistake of staying with him the first/second/third/whatever time.

Oh, @LouLo2121 !

No, you don't "need to start behaving" before he proposes.

Nobody should ever be putting conditions on you before anything - just be yourself and go ahead and live a happy life with someone who loves you for who you are, not for who they'd like to mould you into!

Let him know that the door's this way ➡️ just ask him to close it nicely on his way out of your life 🤘.

@LouLo2121

You are not 'very young' at 27, though you and your boyfriend sound as if you're both about 13 (I also looked at your other thread, and it's Year 9 stuff).

Periods are no excuse to "be mean" to other people. You made some comment about how all women will understand this. I'm a woman, and I think it's a feeble excuse for bad behaviour. If your hormones affect you to that extent, you should see a GP.

You would be mad to marry this man given that a) you are financially better off than he is, so there's nothing in it for you at all; and b) he's a bellend. I don't agree with PP that he's abusive (this word is over-used), but if he can't accept you as you are, I am sure you'll find someone else who will.

I'd bin him and try to meet someone who's not already part of your social circle.

I’d show him how mean I could be before telling him to fuck off and then fuck off some more.

Behave! Ffs. Are you 7?

Telling someone they have to 'behave' and you will reward them with marriage is not the way to do that. However, I think you are stringing us all along and will not engage any further with your nonsense.

I'm very respectful towards him, I cook clean, doing all the washing and go 50/50 with most things money wise, he also lives in my house.

It's you who you need to be respectful towards. Why do you even want to marry a man you skivvy for?

He saw you coming.

How lovely for him: living in your home while you work full time AND do the bulk of the cleaning and cooking and pay half of all his other bills.

Show him the door! You don't want to legally tie yourself to this leech, you want him out of your life!

@Priscil Nope, still no idea what you are doing, apart from talking utter bullshit.

OP needs quite the opposite to being married to this wanker. Unless you actually are said partner of course, that's the only reason I can think of that would make you come out with such crap.

And remind me, why should she prioritise wanting a loser and leach to marry her over finding herself a good, respectful, quality PARTNER? Is it because getting married is the most important achievement for a woman, no matter what kind of low life it’s to?

Yes you’re right, it is, which is why she shouldn’t even consider marrying this loser who brings nothing to the table.

This is why I love Mumsnet!

Everyday, somebody manages to make an even better shit post than the day before!

🤣

Yep, I'd say so.

And there are hundreds of other red pill, Mra, pua writers/bloggers and sites out there who've been spouting similar shit for years.

@LouLo2121
Why would either of you want to marry the either? Why is a proposal even on the table?

He is right to have behavioural standards and expectations of the person that he is considering marrying and so do you.

Neither of you seem to be meeting the others expectations.

The real question would be what are either of you getting from living together?

Well he clearly needs to give more time to housework, cleaning, laundry and cooking.

He should also probably be giving more than 50-50 in bills, since he's living debt and mortgage payment free due to op.

Once he's given those, op can see if her mood improves.

We've been given no examples of what she means by not speaking to him nicely or however she phrased it anyway.

I have a feeling it's actually not ever criticizing or complaining or getting frustrated, even when there's reason to be.

As for marriage, not actually a great idea for op as the sole owner of a property mortgage free .... But especially not to.a sexist user like him.

Everyone is telling you the same thing though.
I have a feeling that you're going to keep him though

If it’s your house, ask him to leave immediately. This is controlling and abusive, and it will get worse when you’re married and worse still, he will have a claim on your home. Run for the hills and don’t look back - be thankful he’s shown you who he is now, before it’s too late.

Naunet's one of the best posters on here, while you seem like a troll.

I've been here. Leave him. It will never get better. My ex always went on about my behaviour and every time I "misbehaved" he would restart our relationship. Not a damn thing changed in 18 months. It was stagnant and dull and I couldn't handle being told I was being naughty all time time when I didn't do anything wrong.
What is he saying you have done so wrong? As to me it just sounds like my ex who was scared to commit properly and using you as an excuse to delay anything and everything