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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

WhatsApp

236 replies

LeilaM42 · 13/08/2023 10:47

I send someone a WhatsApp message 1 day ago and he’s not opened the message but I can see he’s been online. Is it possible he’s not got the message or is he ignoring me ?

OP posts:
Original poster
LeilaM42 · 13/08/2023 21:03

Now I’ve apparently got a message and can’t open it !!!
Ive had no notification but when I open the app in the bottom bar it shows I have 1 message/discussion I’m soooo confused

OP posts:
Original poster
LeilaM42 · 13/08/2023 21:05

Ok just sorted it it wasn’t him !

OP posts:
acpk55 · 13/08/2023 21:12

LeilaM42 · 13/08/2023 21:05

Ok just sorted it it wasn’t him !

So just your settings then?

good job you ignored all doubters and doom mongers on here 😂

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 13/08/2023 21:46

I quite often read the message in the notification, dismiss the notification and then it looks to the other person like I've not read the message. Drives DP up the wall!

Original poster
LeilaM42 · 13/08/2023 21:51

Still not heard from him so I’ve given up now! I’m so tempted to text though! I’m using all my will power not to !

OP posts:
BatheInTheLight · 13/08/2023 21:58

Seriously, don't bother. It's not even about whether or not he saw your message at this stage, it's that you'd usually have heard from him by now anyway, yet he is choosing not to ask how you are or arrange anything with you. He'll be even less enamoured by you if you go chasing him.

JibbaJab · 13/08/2023 22:08

Yeah someone who's left it that long ain't worth it.

Original poster
LeilaM42 · 13/08/2023 22:13

I know I’m sounding naïve but he was so keen and quick to get in touch.

OP posts:
Olika · 13/08/2023 22:35

he would have read and responded if he wanted to, don't waste your time on him.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 13/08/2023 23:39

Don’t chase him

he’s choosing to not communicate and he might have a valid reason

leave it be

he will either reply or he is a ghost 👻
in which case you are well rid

Thisisworsethananticpated · 13/08/2023 23:41

When this happens I delete them and the chat

then no ability to contact them

and you can’t torture yourself seeing their are online

Original poster
LeilaM42 · 14/08/2023 05:07

If I delete the chat can they see I’ve done that?

OP posts:
gwanmen · 14/08/2023 05:33

No, nobody can see if you delete the chat

acpk55 · 14/08/2023 08:31

The person will only notice if delete a message ( for everyone) or block them or delete their contact information ( the profile changes )

Rollonsept · 14/08/2023 08:36

I did recently just get rid of it I'm sick of people worrying themselves and bothering others over when watsapp messages are read. Checking the time of when people are online is bordering obsessive behaviour too OP.

Don't send anything else. Maybe he will reply later today.

JenWillsiam · 14/08/2023 09:09

Rainydays777 · 13/08/2023 10:58

He might not have read receipts on, but if it has two ticks it’s been delivered

If you’ve got read receipts turned off it doesn’t sag when you’ve been online.

JenWillsiam · 14/08/2023 09:10

He’s ignoring you. If it says when he’s been online and it’s since you sent the message he knows he has a message.

JenWillsiam · 14/08/2023 09:10

gwanmen · 14/08/2023 05:33

No, nobody can see if you delete the chat

Again not true. If you delete a message it says just that. Message deleted.

JenWillsiam · 14/08/2023 09:11

LeilaM42 · 13/08/2023 21:51

Still not heard from him so I’ve given up now! I’m so tempted to text though! I’m using all my will power not to !

What’s the point of texting? He will ignore you and be more miserable.

CornishTiger · 14/08/2023 09:24

@LeilaM42 have you looked at your attachment style?

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 14/08/2023 09:24

I think it will show message deleted but I'm not sure. He's a knob op and at least you know now

isthismylifenow · 14/08/2023 09:31

JenWillsiam · 14/08/2023 09:10

Again not true. If you delete a message it says just that. Message deleted.

Show quote history

You can only delete your own messages in the option you are referring to, but there is a time limit on it.

If OP deletes the whole chat on her side, he won't know.

OP, as it was a short message, he probably just read it on the pop up notification when it came in. Its very unlikely he hasn't seen it. Take that as you will.

But, do not double text a man. As in, send the follow up chasing text. Sit on your hands, or better still, archive the whole chat. So it isn't right at the top there egging you on. And get on with keeping yourself busy.

Original poster
LeilaM42 · 14/08/2023 10:02

Now I’m not seeing when he’s been online it just says seen at and then the time still no blue ticks. And I’m now going to stop overthinking this !

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 14/08/2023 10:12

LeilaM42 · 14/08/2023 10:02

Now I’m not seeing when he’s been online it just says seen at and then the time still no blue ticks. And I’m now going to stop overthinking this !

I think I will repeat myself and say you need to archive this chat. To do that, from the main screen, hold down on the chat and you will get options at the top. Tap on the arrow down option. It will send it to the bottom of the lists of chats. You can go back and unarchive it later if you want to. Also, if / when he sends a message, it will pop up back to the top.

It will show as last seen and time when he is not online, and when he is online it will say. Perhaps you should turn off your last seen, then you wont be able to see his either. But you will still see online as well, unless you also turn that feature off your side.

What is the situation with this person? Is this someone you recently met?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 14/08/2023 11:55

JenWillsiam

not true !

you can delete a contact and conversation and they won’t know

what people can see is if you go into the chat and delete one of the messages

but if op wants to stop 🛑 thinking she can delete his contact and the conversation

and he will be none the wiser