Husband has lost our kids savings

[Helphusbandmessedup]

I am so so so annoyed/angry/upset/fuming.

my husband has invested all our kids savings in crypto mining and lost the f*ing lot £14,500.

I’ve told him he personally needs to pay it all back, he thinks he’s just going to replace it from our other investments. Telling me he’d be poor if he takes it from his monthly money. I’ve long suspected he has a borderline gambling issue. I’m absolutely raging, when I said I don’t think it’s fair it come from our other investments he tried to overbearing me because I said it wasn’t an option.

I’ve said his other options are take a personal loan that he pays for or pay back every month but he’ll need to calculate the lost interest.

I’ve also told him I want to split our money going forward so we split bills but then have our own money. I earn more than him btw.

am I being unreasonable or just full of red mist.

Search binance scam claims. Not saying it will fit your circs as i dont know enough but there are ongoing claims for these things

@GaslitlikeaVictorianparlour also sorry to hear you split in the end. How do you feel now, do you feel you made the right decision. Xx

Wow your husband invested the kids money without understanding anything about crypto . There is nothing wrong with investing in crypto imo but any money should be considered lost . 2 years ago both me and hubby did a few thousands ( nit massive amount £7000 after investing £1000 between us so to this day we kept the £1000 as investment but we took our £6000 profit straight away , I recently lost £550 of those £1000 and literally just made it back with £90 profit , that again I withdrawed . You need to be extremely controles to make money with crypto .
people like your partner think they will become millionaires over night .
Never ass on your crypto to someone else , you can invest it yourself on revolut , no need for wallets of inbetween people .
im absolutely shocked he doesn’t grasp he stole from his children .

OP, please don't be sorry. When you legally seperate you can't live together and I was advised not to let him use my address for correspondence.
For the first time in years I wasn't watching him for signs of stuff going wrong or scanning the mail for letters from debt collectors. I can go to bed and know all my money will be where I left it when I get up. Sometimes I find money hidden away inside cushions and credit cards taped to the back of pictures where I planked them to stop him cleaning us out and I feel so grateful I don't have to do that anymore.

My username refers to those days.

Excellent post.

I find it so hard to believe there isn't an issue if he would stoop so low as to use his children's savings.

It's funny the way we all have our deal breakers and like in the sands with our relationships.

I would get over a once off infidelity a lot quicker than my husband touching our children's savings.

Truly I would be beside myself on their behalf.

But thats me!

I think as you were both involved in this you both have to take responsibility.

I can sort of see him thinking it’s too good to be true, safe etc. If I were to stay with him yes it would have to be all paid back and I’d have to have guarantees this would never happen again and if he’s got a gambling problem he gets help with it.

I would divorce him.

He is selfish and you can’t trust him.

There's a strong chance he's got secret debt, OP. May we worth checking for that.

I don’t understand why this is ALL on him though? Sounds like you made a joint decision to use your children’s safety fund and that NEITHER of you did your homework or research. But now you’re washing your hands of it and claiming all the responsibility was his? That sounds like a horrid bum deal for him. I’d be fuming at YOU to be honest! Doesn’t sound like much of a partnership, and you sound like you’re putting all your stress and anxiety and anger into a blame game. Which isn’t fair. You both decided, both knew it was happening, and both made th mistake. So ride it out together.

Separate. ASAP. Do not buy a new house with him. Make sure your own money is in your name and that he has no access to it. Otherwise you’ll end up penniless and homeless. Cut your losses now.

What sort of account was the money in with HSBC? Was it in the DC's names or yours / your DHs?

@MelroseGrainger because he assured me it was in a safe wallet that he could get back. He told me he’d done he research and told me he’d lay it back. I was naive in believing him but he’s my husband why should I not trust or believe him. If I go against him then he says I don’t trust him etc etc.

I should’ve gone with my gut and said no. But he made the shit investment on their behalf.

I've only read the OP's posts, but in case no one else has warned you as yet - watch out for recovery scammers. These are often the same people who have scammed you your DH in the first place, posing as an organisation who recovers money stolen by criminals in these sorts of scams. They will ask for some sort of fee to recover the money, or to release it to you, but will just steal that too. This is a horrible situation, I hope this might help stop it getting worse.

;)

@MelroseGrainger THIS- 100%
When OP thought there was going to be a profit from investing in crypto she was fine with her husband investing.
When the money was lost, it's all on him.
OP should never have agreed to her husband reinvesting their children's money in the first place.
Yes, he should pay it back, but OP also needs to accept responsibility as she was aware of him reinvesting the money at the time.

@LuluBlakey1 at least hers was only £3k 🙁

Why take risks with all of your children's savings ?
There is no way I would have allowed that.
Sorry but you are both accountable as you say you knew he was 'investing' their money.
You say you have other saving/investments why not use that money.
Very very irresponsible.

Sorry, but you BOTH made the shit investment. Knowingly risking £14k of your children’s money is on you, too. You should have looked into it with him. You don’t get to say you feel
awful for trusting him - you trusted yourself, too.

If you would have shared in the benefits of it going brilliantly and making lots of profit, then you need to share in the repercussions and responsibility now it’s all gone wrong.

Well in future you know not to trust him. Crypto, bitcoin or any of those dodgy investments are gambling. Separate your finances immediately and tell him he needs to pay back the money by doing private jobs, reducing monthly spends or whatever. Don't trust him with any financial decisions again. Surprising he decided to use the kids money rather than his.

It's all unacceptable, too high risk with other people's money, but especially with the money your parents put into savings for your children.

He needs to pay that back out of his own money, as promised, immediately.

He doesn't know what he's doing; that's obvious. He's going to fall for every 'get rich quick' scheme out there and gamble it away with his ' I know what I'm doing' attitude when. I'd be doing separate finances and seriously considering divorce if he didn't open up all his accounts and investments for you to look at this weekend. And show you his supposed 'research'. Go from there.

Agree wholeheartedly with this approach.

As this very wise PP has said any money invested in crypto should be considered lost.

Investing a low amount that can be easily replaced and seeing what happens can be fun and sometimes lucrative.

Investing all your children’s savings is unacceptable and idiotic at best.

Don’t be ridiculous of course he can get private work! There’s a huge demand for most trades right now. He needs to get off his backside and earn back the money that he stole from his kids.

He could get £400-500 working 16 hours at the weekend . He could do that twice a month and pay it back in 12-18 months .

And Id be moving ALL my money out of joint investments with him .

Do a credit check on you both asap.

I wouldn't trust him for a minute.

Poor children.

How do you trust him with any money after this?