Husband has lost our kids savings

[Helphusbandmessedup]

I am so so so annoyed/angry/upset/fuming.

my husband has invested all our kids savings in crypto mining and lost the f*ing lot £14,500.

I’ve told him he personally needs to pay it all back, he thinks he’s just going to replace it from our other investments. Telling me he’d be poor if he takes it from his monthly money. I’ve long suspected he has a borderline gambling issue. I’m absolutely raging, when I said I don’t think it’s fair it come from our other investments he tried to overbearing me because I said it wasn’t an option.

I’ve said his other options are take a personal loan that he pays for or pay back every month but he’ll need to calculate the lost interest.

I’ve also told him I want to split our money going forward so we split bills but then have our own money. I earn more than him btw.

am I being unreasonable or just full of red mist.

The fact that he chose his DCs money to gamble with, rather than his own, would put an absolute end to staying with him; I would never trust him again.
He has effectively stolen your DCs money, I suspect he thought he could put it back without you noticing, when he made his fortune.
Stupid, irresponsible idiot.

What if he was "pretending" to have been scammed to trick you.
He need to give you hard evidence if true not just take his word for it.

There’s a world of difference between taking risks with your own money and taking risks with your kids.

He’s not a good man.

I typed the word ‘stealing’ in my post originally but then remembered that he told the OP he was doing this with the DCs’ money, so she knew he’d targeted it for something.

Good point about removing all savings from his grasp. I wonder if he’s tapped into his own pension yet? House equity?

Why didn't he invest his own money?

I believe that there are no other investments.

I’m so sorry this happened.

I agree.

But the scam the ops husband fell for was one that is widely warned about and anyone investing money could google it in two seconds flat.

Let's not forget the money was savings for his children's future not him taking a punt on a horse in the Grand National putting down a tenner at 20/1.

The golden rule of investing is not to invest what you can't afford to lose.

He didn't give a toss about that as it wasn't his money.

I know a family member who took out a huge loan on his ex wife's flat. The property was repossessed and she ended up in a 50 plus housing association flat full of older people.

Don't trust him, he's sold his kids down the river savings wise the house really isn't a stretch.

If there were really other investments then he would have covered it up.

The bottom fell out of crypto a year ago when the billionaires pulled out. I’m amazed he got sucked in. I would assume he was incredibly naive and I too would probably be wondering about the future with someone I had no respect for.

That's where my Bitcoin profit came from. And hence my advice to anyone (it's free though ...) to steer well clear.

Now the blockchain - that's a different kettle of fish. Much more interesting, technically and academically. But there's no money in that.

People can do WTF they want with their own money. Sadly it's telling the OPs DH wasn't using his money.

YANBU X

The bottom fell out of crypto a year ago

It never had a bottom. It was - and still is - a scam to fleece suckers. It's MLM without the hun, really.

Surely this is a dealbreaker?

"Lost" seems way too mild a term, like accidental...
he took kids money and gambled it away.
Does he have other savings in his name?
Get them transferred to you

I would be incandescent with rage. His assurances that the money was safe were nonsense - no investment that brings in a decent return is 100% safe.

My OH used to play thew stock market - mainly because he hated his job and thought he might get a windfall that would change his life. We agreed a sum that he could use for this and ring-fenced the rest of our money safely. He neither lost nor gained, but he enjoyed the buzz.

It was your children's money too. I'm sorry but there's no way I'd have allowed my husband to use my children's money for an 'investment' without having checked it out thoroughly myself.

He's been an idiot, but frankly, you have a degree of responsibility here, too. And just accepting "I'll pay it back if it loses money" was incredibly naive.

Everyone's saying it was really obvious that this was a scam. So if you'd looked at it at all, surely you'd have seen it and stopped him putting the money in?

If you want to stay together...

First I would pay a small amount out to a credit check agency and check both your current profiles, it will list any debts from regular loans, mortgages, banks and show if he has been trying to obtain further credit and if there are any outstanding debts there.

Then I would go through all the current financial products you own and check they are all up to date and paid, so mortgage, bills, insurances, pensions etc.

Then I would separate financially from him, probably the mortgage is held jointly, but everything else, I would separate. Separate bank accounts, separate credit cards. Everything is calculated fairly but paid separately.

If it's 'just' this one loss, then he can pay that back.

If it's bigger and worse, contact StepChange or Christians against Poverty and get advice on reducing debt.

Don't hitch your wagon to this horse.

I did all of this when my husband's debt spiral was revealed, we did eventually pay back everything and I kept my own credit rating good and was able to get a mortgage easily.

The fact that you KNEW he was investing the children's money in crypto puts a different slant on it.
Yes, he's been completely irresponsible with money that isn't his - a huge amount of money - but now you say that you were aware that he was investing it, but he told you it was ''safe''
I don't know much about crypto, but I would imagine that no investment is completely safe.
And he was scammed.
But you were okay with him investing the money until he lost it all?

I couldn’t forgive this. What a cunt.

@BBno4 😂😂😂 no lol although still waiting for an update on that one

I think posters are getting ahead of themselves here.

Yes, investing in crypto is a stupid thing to do, scams are rife, and many of the banks block transactions to various crypto firms for a reason.

But…

OP knew he was investing this money. He told the OP he was investing it, and that if he lost it he would pay it back.

This isn’t a case of the man suddenly fessing up that he’s lost the kids’ savings, the OP was already aware that he’d taken it to “invest” it’s only now that he’s lost it that she’s fuming.

It’s all very well saying that he and only he was responsible for this, but the fact is that the OP went along with it. Presumably because she also believed that there was money to be made. It’s only now that the money has gone she’s decided to blame him and only him.

They’ve both been stupid here.

A lot of people have lost money on crypto. But a lot of people have been sucked in by the promise of high returns, which is why it’s been so easy to scam people out of money.

This doesn’t necessarily point to a wider gambling habit or his having lost elsewhere or his needing help with his gambling problem. It’s entirely possible that he’s fallen for this, and that the kids’ savings was the easy starter because it wasn’t taking out of the family pot iyswim.

Yes. I would be fuming about it.

But this hasn’t happened in isolation.

This is unforgivable.

I can't see how it's okay to use the kids money and not his money. Is it because he knew they didn't need it yet? Or he thought he would make millions and put it straight back?

You say you knew about it too which is a bit mad. I'm not sure why he would risk £14000.

What a bellend though. Even if he does pay it back he's still lost a huge amount of money.

Did he do this without talking to you? If not, and he has money in his name, then yes, he should make amends.

I manage most of the money here as I'm home more. Over the years the investments for DD have generally been in my name as they can't be held in joint accounts, but I've never moved any of the money without talking it over with DH and letting him know the options I've looked at in case he has any comments.