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Original poster

A sex one...

152 replies

bloodydoublestandards · 12/08/2023 09:36

I've been seeing this guy for about 7 months. Long story short, he said a few weeks ago that he's never given oral to a woman and couldn't consider it. It's because he's quite a clean freak, not that he finds me unatttractive. Maybe because he's from a different country so perhaps a cultural thing? As it goes I don't particularly like receiving oral but when the mood takes me to do it I quite enjoy giving it.

Anyway I've been chuckling to myself at the hypocrisy. Not angry about it, it's just comical to me how men are. I've stopped giving him blow jobs since then.

I have plenty of my own stuff going on so I only see him occasionally even tho we're exclusive. Don't particularly want it to go anywhere. He's funny, sweet, sexy and attentive and otherwise the sex is great. He sent me an Insta earlier of a comedian joking about how you don't get blow jobs as you get older. Going to talk to him about that when he comes over later. Any ideas of how to calmly and intelligently explain this? Do your classy best mumsnet...

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 12/08/2023 09:40

I'd be tempted to reply to the video link with "?" And let him bring it up.

I would absolutely not go down on someone who refused to go down on me. But then you don't like receiving oral, I do.

Also 'clean freak' is a pathetic excuse. He didn't say 'I only go down on freshly washed foofs', did he?

JibbaJab · 12/08/2023 09:46

Some men are like that and I think cultural it's frowned upon in some but dunno seems pointless to me.

I've never had a problem in it, I actually quite like doing it and will willingly and although I like it too I don't expect it back. Nothing dirty about it, to me it's the same either way. I couldn't expect someone to do it to me but refuse to do it back.

I can also understand why women wouldn't want to, it's not quite the same is it lol.

I dunno you may not be able to get that through because if already sees it that way, likelihood is won't be willing to or if did, probably wouldn't be worth it anyway. It is hypocritical though, yes but then a lot of men are I find.

EAP · 12/08/2023 10:05

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Castall · 12/08/2023 10:10

@bloodydoublestandards

This shows he is ignorant and closed minded to be honest.

if he has access to the internet and was sensible ( ie goes to serious medical sites) he could see there are no hygiene issues.

if you like it or want to try it and he does not do for you that says so much about him.

So you really want to be with such a person upbringing or not.?

I would ditch instantly to be clear.

Castall · 12/08/2023 10:10

@bloodydoublestandards

also it's very immature of him.

Newusernameaug · 12/08/2023 10:11

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Oh FFS 🙄 talk about fear mongering

StarlightLady · 12/08/2023 10:11

I have always agreed with the argument that not everybody likes the same thing. There's a but coming along here. But I can never understand how any woman would not enjoy recieiving oral if it dleivered properly.

For me this situation would be a deal breaker, but I always have a little conversation about oral beofre anyone crosses the threshold into my bedroom.

OP, a slightly different scenario though because you say that you don't particularly like receiving oral. If oyu are sure that is the case, that paints a rather differne picture.

But for me it's no oral, no entry! And I make that clear.

ZebraD · 12/08/2023 10:12

Clean freak?! Is he calling you dirty?! Cheeky! Bin him!

Newusernameaug · 12/08/2023 10:13

I’d say something along the lines of….. ‘that video you sent me, but of a dog about not getting BJ’s….. you’re aware I’ve stopped since our discussion and has fuck all to do with age right? Just so we’re clear and you don’t feel the need to make any more digs. If you want to discuss it further more than happy to hear your thoughts….’

Newusernameaug · 12/08/2023 10:13

Dig!

No dogs are involved in the BJ discussion 🤣

BoobyDazzler · 12/08/2023 10:20

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😂 Jesus Christ.

melissasummerfield · 12/08/2023 10:24

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This is up there with one of the most ridiculous things ive read on mnet, and I have been here about 12 years 😆😆😆😆

Ladyoftheknight · 12/08/2023 10:27

A practical answer if he's funny about germs- he could try using a dental dam.

ZekeZeke · 12/08/2023 10:29

If you don't like receiving but don't mind giving what's the problem?

Watchkeys · 12/08/2023 10:33

What's wrong with saying 'You won't do it for me, so I won't do it for you'? Why do you need suggestions for other ways of saying it? Why are you having sex with someone when you look to a forum to find out the best way to talk to him?

Elizadoloads · 12/08/2023 10:50

He shouldn't do anything in the bedroom that he feels uncomfortable with. You have that same right.
The blowjob video is out of line though.

CurlewKate · 12/08/2023 10:55

Nobody should do anything sexual they are not enthusiastic about.

FlamingYam · 12/08/2023 11:09

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If we are going down that route, isn't it a cancer risk wherever you put/receive it if HPV is present?

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 12/08/2023 11:10

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😂

blahblahblah1654 · 12/08/2023 11:13

I'm surprised it's an issue after 7 months? I'm assuming he never gave oral before then?

BoobyDazzler · 12/08/2023 11:14

EAP · 12/08/2023 11:10

Well yes I think we all know oral sex can give you HPV but so can kissing someone who has it. Are you advocating for never doing that, too?

liveforsummer · 12/08/2023 11:20

EAP · 12/08/2023 11:10

I'd assume though she is also having intercourse with this man so risk already there 😅

Kabbalah · 12/08/2023 11:25

Castall · 12/08/2023 10:10

@bloodydoublestandards

This shows he is ignorant and closed minded to be honest.

if he has access to the internet and was sensible ( ie goes to serious medical sites) he could see there are no hygiene issues.

if you like it or want to try it and he does not do for you that says so much about him.

So you really want to be with such a person upbringing or not.?

I would ditch instantly to be clear.

You would dump somebody because they won't perform a sexual act they are not comfortable or happy with. There's gotta be a word for that.

Parky04 · 12/08/2023 11:28

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I'll take the risk!

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