A sex one...

[bloodydoublestandards]

I've been seeing this guy for about 7 months. Long story short, he said a few weeks ago that he's never given oral to a woman and couldn't consider it. It's because he's quite a clean freak, not that he finds me unatttractive. Maybe because he's from a different country so perhaps a cultural thing? As it goes I don't particularly like receiving oral but when the mood takes me to do it I quite enjoy giving it.

Anyway I've been chuckling to myself at the hypocrisy. Not angry about it, it's just comical to me how men are. I've stopped giving him blow jobs since then.

I have plenty of my own stuff going on so I only see him occasionally even tho we're exclusive. Don't particularly want it to go anywhere. He's funny, sweet, sexy and attentive and otherwise the sex is great. He sent me an Insta earlier of a comedian joking about how you don't get blow jobs as you get older. Going to talk to him about that when he comes over later. Any ideas of how to calmly and intelligently explain this? Do your classy best mumsnet...

I have never liked it much as the 'main' thing. I don't dislike it as a 'side dish' it but it has never done much for me in terms of orgasm. I can but it takes ages and there are other things I much prefer.

I’ve had this before and he also was from a different country and culture. He said it was because he would get a rash from doing it previously 😂 I think (was a while ago) I found out from research that it was considered unclean in his religion.

Ask him if the joke he sent was a joke or a hint?

I don’t think anyone should do anything sexual they don’t want to.

Agree with this 100%

It's possible misogyny. You can do it because of course men's genitals are much cleaner than women's. He wants your vagina for his pleasure, yours is secondary /less important

Agreed

Muslim men will not do it

That it's completely off the table, even in the moments, however fleeting they may be, that the mood takes her.

Why are some posters being cunts to @EAP who is doing a sterling job raising awareness? I have seen some shocking lack of sexual health knowledge on here.
Honestly some of you I'm amazed are still alive judging by the risky casual sex some of you are having. So blaze about life changing and threatening infections for 5 minutes of a man's pleasure. There is no way any of you actually enjoy sucking on a salty meat stick you're just copying porn to please your men.

Some black and Asia men also won't do it.

What’s the point of a man that won’t munch the minge.

@AmeliPoison Realistically it's a risk and nothing wrong raising awareness at all. However, a lot of people don't care or think about it and nothing will change that but some will take note.

I have no problem doing it if a woman enjoys that but I wouldn't be going around doing it to just anyone for the sake of it. Likewise, I suppose some do like it but I can fully understand why women wouldn't want to do it because I can't see how that would be a nice experience for them to be honest. Not quite the same to me.

Fair enough he doesn't want to do it but then he should t have a problem with you not putting his genitals in your mouth.

I'm not a major fan of giving but I love receiving and luckily my husband enjoys giving so I also give as it would be unfair otherwise. If you don't like it I don't know if it is

But no issues with receiving?

That's the kind of double standard that makes me vom.

If you are not keen on it anyway, and you sound happy in most respects, why worry? Everyone has likes and dislikes when it comes to sex, it's not a hang up, it's natural.

I agree that no one should feel like they have to perform a sex act they are not comfortable with but the hypocrisy and misogyny is what would ruffle my feathers.

He considers yours and all other vaginas unclean... no less unclean than any males genitals yet is dissatisfied you won't put his in your mouth and sends you "jokes" about it so very obviously has a problem.

Men like this live by double standards in all areas of life, I don't find that an attractive quality.

Salty meat stick?🤣

this is my experience as well I’ve only dated black men and a lot of them won’t do it (not all obviously but the major it I met are very against it) I’ve met more men that won’t do it and have said they never have or would than those that do (again not all before anyone says anything just speaking from my personal experience)

Religious/cultural indoctrination has a lot to answer for, I dated a guy briefly who held the same beliefs. I'm firmly of the belief everyone can say no and no one should ever be coerced into an act they're not comfortable with, male or female.

The real question here is whether it is a deal breaker for you or not.

Exactly.
@BananaSlug That’s interesting, what reasons do they give if any?

Just that it’s nasty, there are lots of songs about not doing it… if they admitted it to their friends they would be called names. It’s very ingrained in certain cultures

I like a salty meat stick when I'm.in a loving relationship. My choice not porn fueled. Not that bothered about receiving oral tbh,but my ex loved giving it so would happily participate.

@BananaSlug It's also from my experience fairly common among men socially too in general. Idgaf myself but I've come across a fair amount who don't openly admit doing it because of some perceived shame and some that take the piss out of others for those doing so.