Page 6 | Argument 4 days ago..no contact but hasn't changed profile picture of us

Littlemisslonley · 2023-07-30T18:15:41+00:00

Sounds childish I know.... We had a huge argument 4 days ago over contact he's having with his female friend which I deem inappropriate sending her love hearts and saying stuff like "you look gorgeous darling" lots of voice notes and videos sent to each other. We argued he left and since then we have had no contact however he's not unfriended me on socials or changed his WhatsApp picture from a picture from us and it's driving me insane as to what this means?! It sounds so childish writing it but I really don't know where I stand anymore with this

Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 12/08/2023 09:13

YoSof · 11/08/2023 19:57

You’re very welcome. I’ve been exactly where you are right now.

I had counselling
Did the freedom program
Spent hours reading on abuse, codependency and trauma bonds.

Followed a lot of accounts relating to the above on Instagram
Cried a lot
Got angry
Cried a bit more

But I got there, and you will too. I kept going back for years - years of my life wasted on a piece of shit. He made me feel crazy.

I’m happy now. He isn’t. Because the problem wasn’t me, it was him. It will always be him, whoever he is with. Take good care of yourself x

Thank you I'll follow your lead and do this

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Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 12/08/2023 09:16

Sueveneers · 12/08/2023 07:40

Wait, so you still haven't even attempted to get your daughter's bike back? I think your daughter deserves her possessions back. This isn't fair on her.

No I didn't and he didn't attempt to get any of his sons or his stuff back from mine I assumed we would talk about that on Wednesday when he "didn't feel upto talking" however I have ordered her a new one and my dad's building it for me so she will not be without...the weather has also ment she hasn't been able to use it anyway should I have it or not plus holiday clubs etc so she's really not missed out. Believe me I've ensured this

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Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 08:29

Hi all just wondered if you guys are still here and want an update?

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Sueveneers · 17/08/2023 09:13

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 08:29

Hi all just wondered if you guys are still here and want an update?

Yes.

YoSof · 17/08/2023 09:25

Still here x

Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 09:36

Thank you.
So after messaging me on Wednesday saying "I'm not upto talking" after asking me to ring him on Wednesday he messaged me from a different number on Sunday it basically said he's thought about everything but keeps coming back to the same conclusion and that he can't trust me any more ....he can't trust me what?! He's the one who's crossed my boundary with other women 6 times that I am aware of loads of times that I don't even know about also obviously!! And he went on to say can I get his sons switch and games back to him and he will do the same I replied the following day (posted his sons switch and games) and said
"Posted sons switch and games today should be with you tomorrow. Can you collect all my stuff including ds game dd bike and all my things and drop them at my sisters you can leave them out front"
He then agreed. However said it may take him upto 3 weeks he's going to Ireland Saturday so he might not be able to do it before he goes leaving it 3 weeks for my stuff to come back (and my daughter to get her bike and son to get his game thingies?!) I didn't reply
He sent another messaging saying I could go around and collect if I didn't want to wait
I didn't reply
He sent a message the following day saying please can you let me know if you can collect your stuff you can go and get it while I'm in Ireland I don't mind.
I didn't reply.
I don't need to reply I've already asked him what I need and he's already agreed surley that's that.

He's removed me and my family off all of his socials.

I've thought about this alot and the fact he played the nice guy for 15 months has floored me because I should of left and I didn't when he broke my boundaries 8/9 months ago he then continued to break my boundaries then go on to hide breaking them....he's in the wrong here 100% how am I the one who can't be trusted?!

I'm not going to reply to him. As soon as my stuff is back I will block him. Or should I just block him now? He may not return my things or my ds or dd things but I can replace if I need too?

Am I in the wrong?!

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Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 09:39

I didn't order my dd replacement bike in the end as when I ordered it they emailed to say currently out of stock but my order will be put through when back in stock estimated 6 weeks. I've cancelled it for now as ex may bring it back. Either way she isn't going to be bikeless ill make sure of it. Ds switch and his games are not important as he doesn't play on it anyway and when he wants it I'll replace if not brought back. My stuff doesn't matter at the moment

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YoSof · 17/08/2023 09:57

Block him, and order a new bike.

This is the start of his games, he expected you to apologise and beg again when he said he’d been thinking and didn’t trust you. You didn’t, we’ll done.

He will keep dropping crumbs pretending it’s about the bike, wanting you to react or prove yourself to him and “convince” him you can be trusted.

Youve done really well! Block and ignore x

Mmhmmn · 17/08/2023 10:08

Littlemisslonley · 31/07/2023 21:02

Oh and he changed his profile picture from us to a pic of him and his son tonight.... its just a picture but I feel like that's communication he's also online alot...

I'd just turn up at his door and say I've come for my daughters bike. Get your stuff and that's it. Done.

Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 10:22

YoSof · 17/08/2023 09:57

Block him, and order a new bike.

This is the start of his games, he expected you to apologise and beg again when he said he’d been thinking and didn’t trust you. You didn’t, we’ll done.

He will keep dropping crumbs pretending it’s about the bike, wanting you to react or prove yourself to him and “convince” him you can be trusted.

Youve done really well! Block and ignore x

Thank you so much. I am super proud I didn't get suckered back into it by even acknowledging what he said about me.... following me sending that message and not replying to the following 2 messages he sent the same evening he then removed my family off his socials almost like he was having a tantrum because I didn't reply?!

Going to email the bike people and reinstate my bike order. And block him the new number he messaged from.

You don't do this to someone you care about. You don't just vanish and ignore them and treat someone who was willing to work through the problems like this! Someone who you have said "is the best thing that ever happened to me and ds " etc etc it was so lies clearly

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Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 10:23

Mmhmmn · 17/08/2023 10:08

I'd just turn up at his door and say I've come for my daughters bike. Get your stuff and that's it. Done.

Show quote history

I would but I don't want to go backwards and start crying again and being mentally not ok so I don't want to see him at all for risk of my peace

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Mmhmmn · 17/08/2023 10:29

Totally understandable, apologies I hadn't read down far enough to see all of his pathetic and ridiculous behaviour. Best not to bother. If he wants to find a crumb of decency he can return your stuff to your sister's as you had requested. But decency doesn't sound like his thing at all. Hope you're doing OK and looking forward.

jannier · 17/08/2023 10:31

So you want him back....you know your not his priority he's been too busy with his other woman to think of the rediculous social profile

Kezhoust2586 · 17/08/2023 10:35

The silent treatment is him trying to make you feel bad for questioning him over it. Keeping the pic the same is almost like he wants you to feel bad for even bringing it up.
Pure narcissistic behaviour, ditch the Mother F*er, and move on with someone who tells YOU that you are gorgeous .

PimpMyFridge · 17/08/2023 11:26

You're doing well.
Given what you're saying, I think cut your losses on the like stuff, for the benefit of being able to shut the door and never open it again is worthwhile (seems you can afford replacements)

If this guy was telling me I couldn't be trusted I'd just be thinking okayyyyyy 🤨
YOU know you can be trusted (if you were going out with you, would you be worried? I assume the answer is no).
Him saying you can't therefore isn't based on any actual reason, because there is no reason... So it is just manipulation.

The fact his foundless remark didn't just slide right off you suggests he's still really in your head... Not a good situation under which to go to his house for any reason, because he still, rightly or wrongly has the power to get under your skin.

We can see it, and you will in time, that his opinion is so worthless you might as well carve it on an ice cube and watch it melt for all the value it has.

Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 15:21

PimpMyFridge · 17/08/2023 11:26

You're doing well.
Given what you're saying, I think cut your losses on the like stuff, for the benefit of being able to shut the door and never open it again is worthwhile (seems you can afford replacements)

If this guy was telling me I couldn't be trusted I'd just be thinking okayyyyyy 🤨
YOU know you can be trusted (if you were going out with you, would you be worried? I assume the answer is no).
Him saying you can't therefore isn't based on any actual reason, because there is no reason... So it is just manipulation.

The fact his foundless remark didn't just slide right off you suggests he's still really in your head... Not a good situation under which to go to his house for any reason, because he still, rightly or wrongly has the power to get under your skin.

We can see it, and you will in time, that his opinion is so worthless you might as well carve it on an ice cube and watch it melt for all the value it has.

I love this response so much thank you!
I'm not rich or flush by any means and replacing stuff will hit the bank however the cost of replacing is so worth keeping my mental health!!

Yes you assume right I'm 100% trustworthy and mega mega loyal! And your right he's manipulating things isn't he thanks for making me see this...

He 100% is in my head at this point and he could and would get under my skin your right about this too!

Carving it on ice right now..thank you so much you've been so great and helpful sometimes you got to read it off someone else to be like "ohhh yeah!!!"

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Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 17/08/2023 15:22

Mmhmmn · 17/08/2023 10:29

Totally understandable, apologies I hadn't read down far enough to see all of his pathetic and ridiculous behaviour. Best not to bother. If he wants to find a crumb of decency he can return your stuff to your sister's as you had requested. But decency doesn't sound like his thing at all. Hope you're doing OK and looking forward.

Thank you...he kept the act up for 15 months so hats off to him for faking his niceness for so long hahaa x

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Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 22/08/2023 14:16

Update
He went to Ireland on Saturday he's back this Saturday coming and my stuff has still not been returned...

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lunaalice · 22/08/2023 16:32

Just go get your stuff and block him. He offered you a time to go get it when he was out. You are prolonging it.

You keep saying dd won't be without a bike. I'll make sure if that. Then don't do anything about it.

PimpMyFridge · 22/08/2023 16:36

Littlemisslonley · 22/08/2023 14:16

Update
He went to Ireland on Saturday he's back this Saturday coming and my stuff has still not been returned...

So far so predictable. Everything about his attitude pointed to this.
Have you stopped hoping for a change or still vigilant to his moves and glancing at your phone?

Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 22/08/2023 16:36

lunaalice · 22/08/2023 16:32

Just go get your stuff and block him. He offered you a time to go get it when he was out. You are prolonging it.

You keep saying dd won't be without a bike. I'll make sure if that. Then don't do anything about it.

I can't because I have no time without DD and if I drive over there she will get excited thinking she's going to his house and seeing his son so don't want to bring him back into her mind

Luckily the weather's been awful so she hasn't missed her bike because we haven't been able to go anywhere that would require her to have it so for now it's OK and next week it the end of the summer holidays anyway which Is typical

If I could get 1hour and a 30/45 mins spare (we live a fair whack away from each other) without dd I'd go and get my stuff alone but no childcare or support for that unfortunately hence why I asked he took it to my sisters

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Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 22/08/2023 16:40

PimpMyFridge · 22/08/2023 16:36

So far so predictable. Everything about his attitude pointed to this.
Have you stopped hoping for a change or still vigilant to his moves and glancing at your phone?

Show quote history

I feel after the way he has treated me after he left is awful and I don't want to be with a man like him so not hoping for a change now because these are his true colours clearly !
He text me off another number when I blocked his haven't blocked the new number and I've archived his chat so if he messages me it doesn't pop up. Back from Ireland on Saturday so hope my stuff returns this week !!!

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sodthesodoff · 22/08/2023 17:05

Honesty. It's been over three weeks since you first posted. And it's still dragging on. And you're still invested. And you still know his whereabouts. And you still haven't blocked him (just archived it)

Let it go. Let him go. Let the stuff go.

Get your sanity back.

Original poster

Littlemisslonley · 22/08/2023 17:06

sodthesodoff · 22/08/2023 17:05

Honesty. It's been over three weeks since you first posted. And it's still dragging on. And you're still invested. And you still know his whereabouts. And you still haven't blocked him (just archived it)

Let it go. Let him go. Let the stuff go.

Get your sanity back.

I only know his where abouts because I was suppose to have gone also with my dcs. I just want him to bring my stuff back and close the door 😧

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sodthesodoff · 22/08/2023 17:17

But he's still got all the power here

Just block and move on

You know he's got no intention of giving you your daughters stuff. He's making you wait deliberately.

He also knows this leaves him in your thoughts

I take it from that post you're not going to block him and still holding out that he'll just nicely hand your stuff over?