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Original poster

Age on OLD profiles...

157 replies

Livelifelaughter · 25/07/2023 18:02

I have my age listed as 47 on my OLD profile and I am actually 54. In the messaging stage at say message number 2, I explain what my real age is. I also only consider men in the 50 -62 age group.
I have literally never had anyone think I am as old as my age, all my pictures are recent.
Most of the men I tell this to are surprised but nice about it.
I explain that it's because some men use age 50 as a cut off on the age selection profile, maybe I am wrong.
A guy messaged me today, and I told him my real age he was really annoyed and felt there was a big gap between my real age and my profile age, I don't think there is, and also he is 52....so we are two years apart, but he thought because of my age I might not keep up with him sexually...well he's wrong on that assumption - I have blocked him anyway. To what extent do you think men are bothered by age on dating apps and want to date youunger in their late 40s, 50s, 60s...

OP posts:
Maiden2021 · 29/07/2023 20:09

OP look.

What you put on your profile is a matter for you. However, do expect to date similar men.

Like one poster said there, my DH also said I was the most genuine, natural woman he met and we were married within 3 months.

Not to sound ageist, however, having done lots of OLD, I would say, most men there are a waste of space so some will be DELIGHTED at matching with a 50 yo woman presenting herself as 47 yo, as they will instantly think, you did this so you can get more s3x offers. It's why, sorry to break it to you, they continue to meet you. Or they are liars themselves so this is an excellent introduction to them as they will take it as a license to also tell what they will argue are small fibs, during any relationship you will form with them.

Why take the risk if you really want to meet a decent man?

5128gap · 29/07/2023 20:18

I don't know why people insist everyone looks their age. I work with two women who are the same age and one looks at least 15 years younger than the other, if not more. So which one looks 50? The OP clearly passed for 47 multiple times so i think it's reasonable to suppose she looks it.
As for the lying, well, I think your research in the field gives you a better idea than the theory on MN. On here most people will be women who don't want to be lied to. Your target is men, the majority of whom have shown you it's not an issue. So your call.

unfairopinionmaybe · 29/07/2023 20:34

@Oatycookies yes I learned his true age quite a while in, I obviously suspected from the beginning- I just didn't suspect quite as far as it actually was

It felt very sinister when I did find out and I've kicked myself for thinking "oh it's a few years he's hiding, how bad can it be?" plenty in hindsight

I would no longer trust anyone for the smallest lie I uncovered on social media

mildlydispeptic · 29/07/2023 20:56

I think a lot depends on context.

When I was still doing OLD and in good shape I lied plenty of times about my age on based on the assumption that I had a right to date men my own age. Outside of OLD I was dating guys 5-10 years younger. Most of them just said: "wow, you look amazing for your age" and that was that.

I did have one guy throw a massive tantrum because I was only 6 months younger than him instead of 4 years younger.

As I neared my 40s I made it very clear on my OLD profile that kids were not an option, because in my view that would have been a material lie if the guy was looking to start a family.

When someone (and it's usually a man) knocks 5 or ten years off their age on the assumption they're entitled to be dating someone 15-20 years younger, that's a bit different imo.

Oatycookies · 29/07/2023 22:34

@mildlydispeptic yeah you should be entitled to date men your age and it’s gross how so many men hit 30 and start going out their way to date significantly younger, so I do have sympathy with women reducing their add on like but I’m in my 30s and I only get men in their 30s or early 40s contacting me and I haven’t lied about my age.

Most men I’ve spoke to are my age or 5 years younger. I’m sure the pool is smaller but hey at least I’m attracting men decent enough to date close their own age.

@unfairopinionmaybe that’s sooo scary 😧 my first thought would be to immediately run if I found out that kind of lie, because if a man can carry on such an elaborate lie -which taking 20 years off your age is - I’d be worried about what else they could lie about and how lacking in conscience they were. Perfect traits for a serial killer IMO but I do watch a lot of true crime 😆 I do get people being turned off by even minor lies as well as it could be a pattern.

Oatycookies · 29/07/2023 22:35

Grrr excuse the typos

Reducing their age on OLD

Maiden2021 · 29/07/2023 22:39

@mildlydispeptic OP did not say she is doing it so she can date younger men- again that would be anyone's prerogative. However, she says she is doing it because of 50 cut offs men have so she wants more matches. Hence comments like men have a right to match only with who they want- up to 49.

mildlydispeptic · 29/07/2023 22:41

Sadly, IME for women the dynamic starts changing when you hit 35 and then at 40 you really start getting screened out.

PurposefulBear · 29/07/2023 22:44

OP did he actually say ge didn’t think you’d be able to keep up with him sexually?? What an absolute knob, that would gross me out tbh… the guy thinks he’s some kind of porn star??

Maiden2021 · 29/07/2023 22:50

@mildlydispeptic hahah you made me laugh. So brutal but honest.

Or those of us who get shown interest (it is even excessive) it is because they see we have wealth and want some of it. I literally had a man want to break up his young family, the moment he CLOCKED (after 2 years in my vicinity) that I had a few bob. I was so disgusted my friend talked me out of not disliking him entirely. She knew all the sacrifices I made it earn it all.

Luckily also met my DH soon after but that wouldn't stop him trying not to give my few months old marriage a chance. It was confusing and draining. I doubt I will remarry after DH (slight older than me) and don't even mention OLD to me later in life.

tothelefttotheleft · 29/07/2023 22:58

QueefQueen80s · 25/07/2023 19:30

Yes I know. I meant like the man who is 52 who has a cut off age younger than him!

This is depressingly common.

Oatycookies · 29/07/2023 23:03

Considering so many men just want sex it’s weird and kind of gross they screen women over 40 out. I’d understand it more if they were looking to have kids?

Well…OLD filters are not on my side as far as that because irl I get men aged 25-35 approaching me and they’re not fazed when they find out my age because men are very visual I guess so in their head I’m still the age they assumed I was despite me telling them I’m older. Sometimes I wish I’d started OLD earlier but a close friend of Mine has been using it since she was about 28 and she’s only had about 3 (useless) boyfriends and countless situationships and weird encounters from it, so even though age does Increase the pool it also means opening yourself up to more arseholes lol

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 29/07/2023 23:39

Livelifelaughter · 25/07/2023 18:02

I have my age listed as 47 on my OLD profile and I am actually 54. In the messaging stage at say message number 2, I explain what my real age is. I also only consider men in the 50 -62 age group.
I have literally never had anyone think I am as old as my age, all my pictures are recent.
Most of the men I tell this to are surprised but nice about it.
I explain that it's because some men use age 50 as a cut off on the age selection profile, maybe I am wrong.
A guy messaged me today, and I told him my real age he was really annoyed and felt there was a big gap between my real age and my profile age, I don't think there is, and also he is 52....so we are two years apart, but he thought because of my age I might not keep up with him sexually...well he's wrong on that assumption - I have blocked him anyway. To what extent do you think men are bothered by age on dating apps and want to date youunger in their late 40s, 50s, 60s...

I got annoyed when men did this to me when I was OLD- I think I actually did have 47 as my cut off so when men appeared in their 50s (I was 34 and wanting kids) I'd just think go say you time wasting liar

nomoretoriesforme · 29/07/2023 23:50

5128gap · 29/07/2023 20:18

I don't know why people insist everyone looks their age. I work with two women who are the same age and one looks at least 15 years younger than the other, if not more. So which one looks 50? The OP clearly passed for 47 multiple times so i think it's reasonable to suppose she looks it.
As for the lying, well, I think your research in the field gives you a better idea than the theory on MN. On here most people will be women who don't want to be lied to. Your target is men, the majority of whom have shown you it's not an issue. So your call.

Absolutely this...

mildlydispeptic · 30/07/2023 07:22

@Maiden2021 ah yes, the money angle. Interestingly the guy that kicked off about my being nearly the same age as him said: "How can I trust anything you tell me? Do you even own this house?"

Maiden2021 · 30/07/2023 13:23

mildlydispeptic · 30/07/2023 07:22

@Maiden2021 ah yes, the money angle. Interestingly the guy that kicked off about my being nearly the same age as him said: "How can I trust anything you tell me? Do you even own this house?"

I like your humour.. really making me laugh. Thank you. I don't easily like any humour but yours navigates towards my liking.

I didn't't want to spoil those making reasonable comments on this, however, I have always looked 20/15 years younger than I am ( my mum was the same, so good genes have a lot to do with it). I now look 10 years younger than I look as I eat very cleanly although have completely stopped gym trips to go easy on my joints and only occasionally limited yoga/pilates and some light strength at home.

However, I would still put my correct age on OLD - in the unfortunate event I find myself in future.

For the older and feeling bad, I recall I once met an older gentleman so we had a lovely coffee but he made it clear he wanted someone his age or less or more on either side. I thought that was noble and genuine.

I am clear, I will want men my age or less or more on either side too when older and find myself on OLD.

PousseyNotMoira · 30/07/2023 13:24

mildlydispeptic · 30/07/2023 07:22

@Maiden2021 ah yes, the money angle. Interestingly the guy that kicked off about my being nearly the same age as him said: "How can I trust anything you tell me? Do you even own this house?"

🤣🤣🤣

Maiden2021 · 30/07/2023 13:36

Also fair comment to those saying by 45/46/47 some women-not all- age very badly after years of exposure to sunny exotic holidays. I am lucky I avoid the sun like a plague and only get expose to it on occasion, very lightly for vitamin D.

Have seen many women whose yearly summer holidays were spent lounging in French Riviera ageing very very badly and are now using hair to cover their faces and walking with their heads bowed down so none looks at their faces. Very sad.

So, avoid too much sun ladies.

5128gap · 30/07/2023 15:36

PurposefulBear · 29/07/2023 22:44

OP did he actually say ge didn’t think you’d be able to keep up with him sexually?? What an absolute knob, that would gross me out tbh… the guy thinks he’s some kind of porn star??

Lol. As if a 50 year old woman couldn't 'keep up' with a 50 year old man! Any man who think this is clearly unable to differentiate between lack of capacity for the act and lack of enthusiasm for his own charms and performance.

heartbroken40 · 30/07/2023 18:23

@Maiden2021 I was the poster who was told how genuine I am. And just like you, I'm also wealthy so I was only looking for someone self sufficient and with a good and professional job. I don't need my partner's money but definitely I wouldn't have wanted to be his meal ticket

Maiden2021 · 30/07/2023 18:54

@heartbroken40 Bravo. I learnt early on that you should be the man you want to attract. So I ensured I had my career, house, honest from start so if my self-sufficiency and independence frightened anyone, I would be rid of them ASAP etc etc before demanding the men I was matching with had similar qualities. I was and remain clear I won't ever be anyone's mail ticket, so much so, although I have a prenup, DH still doesn't know I own another (mortgage- free) house abroad worth only £200K but it is a lot. The rent is sitting there. I am not hiding wealth and would disclose if we divorced - we both say we did not want a divorce from day one and we each own a house so no one will be made homeless - but since we married very quickly, I needed to experience how he was with his money, so that's the hedge a waged (keeping an emergency fund quiet)- if only to need it in any emergency for me or for us.

My independence is everything as I knowingly and intentionally sacrificed a lot to gain it, so I have no plans to lose it to a man, married to him or otherwise. And he know this. I also have no plans to subsidise anyone.

okiedokie1 · 30/07/2023 22:46

mildlydispeptic · 29/07/2023 20:56

I think a lot depends on context.

When I was still doing OLD and in good shape I lied plenty of times about my age on based on the assumption that I had a right to date men my own age. Outside of OLD I was dating guys 5-10 years younger. Most of them just said: "wow, you look amazing for your age" and that was that.

I did have one guy throw a massive tantrum because I was only 6 months younger than him instead of 4 years younger.

As I neared my 40s I made it very clear on my OLD profile that kids were not an option, because in my view that would have been a material lie if the guy was looking to start a family.

When someone (and it's usually a man) knocks 5 or ten years off their age on the assumption they're entitled to be dating someone 15-20 years younger, that's a bit different imo.

So you have all sorts of justifications for why it's ok for you or other women to knock years off but when it's a man it's bad. That just weird. Surely the reasons are exactly the same. You and everyone knocking years off for OLD are doing so in order to attract younger people than if you stated your real age. That's it. That's the sole reason.

QueefQueen80s · 31/07/2023 20:29

@okiedokie1 No.. She wants to date men her own age, which is normal.
Men are the fucking weird ones trying to go younger

Original poster
Livelifelaughter · 31/07/2023 21:40

Me again! Yes it's to date people in my own age bracket. I had a date over the weekend, very interesting, well presented nice guy. He said I easily passed for my original profile age (47) although he knew before he met me I am 55. He said he could understand why I did it because people use 50 as a cut off. He also said I looked exactly like my photos... apparently that's what's annoying is when people use photos that don't really look like them....

OP posts:
Maiden2021 · 31/07/2023 21:45

Good to hear you are doing well- op.

I just didn't even realise it was 55 yo for 47 yo. I thought it was 50 for 47.

Anyway, well done for looking after yourself, but my point still remains ( as to what I would do). You do you.