Page 3 | Age on OLD profiles...

Livelifelaughter · 2023-07-25T17:02:54+00:00

I have my age listed as 47 on my OLD profile and I am actually 54. In the messaging stage at say message number 2, I explain what my real age is. I also only consider men in the 50 -62 age group. I have literally never had anyone think I am as old as my age, all my pictures are recent. Most of the men I tell this to are surprised but nice about it. I explain that it's because some men use age 50 as a cut off on the age selection profile, maybe I am wrong. A guy messaged me today, and I told him my real age he was really annoyed and felt there was a big gap between my real age and my profile age, I don't think there is, and also he is 52....so we are two years apart, but he thought because of my age I might not keep up with him sexually...well he's wrong on that assumption - I have blocked him anyway. To what extent do you think men are bothered by age on dating apps and want to date youunger in their late 40s, 50s, 60s...

AMuser · 25/07/2023 20:34

Late 40s btw.

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 25/07/2023 20:37

AMuser · 25/07/2023 20:33

@Livelifelaughter it’s a tricky one. When I was OLD two years ago I had a fake first name (professional reasons) and took 3 years off my age.

I told anyone I went on a date with my real name iafter chatting in messages and my age on first proper date. None inc my current DP (who is nearly 3 years younger than me) cared - as I fessed up immediately. I think a v large proportion of women do lie about their age online because there is a significant cut off at certain points and women “devalue” as they age in a way men are perceived not to. I was totally open and truthful about everything else.

So I don’t blame you at all. Seven years is a bit of stretch though mate. Respect 😎

Show quote history

Thank you!
I confess before I meet them in the initial messages. It's because of the cut off as you say.

OP posts:

Vegandiva · 25/07/2023 20:41

You perceive that men don´t care because most men on OLD are primarily just looking for sex and are therefore not picky, but the few interested in a relationship probably would be put off by the lie.

Speaking for myself, I also instant left swipe on anyone whose profile text starts with [my real age is [...][ so if you are sincere about wanting to be honest and you want a relationship, I would scrap your current profile and start over with your real age.

Lonelylonelylonely · 25/07/2023 22:47

You obviously don't find a problem with lying about your age on your profile, so why ask?

I think if you're honest early on its not a problem - these people are strangers, but taking 7 years off is a lot.

Fwiw when I was doing OLD I didn't have my first name on my profile and I did knock a couple of years off because I didn't want to advertise too much personal information online, but like you I did say so within the first message or two unless I wasn't especially keen anyway.

A male friend of mine had a profile with a fake name and actually added a couple of years onto his age. No idea why other than to maintain privacy. I never did tell him I knew as I came across his pics when swiping.

hattire · 25/07/2023 22:54

I think if I ever used OLD I would follow the example of using a fake name initially as that sounds sensible. I think the advice is also to keep children off profiles.

Sorry if that's a derail, OP, but it's been useful.

aurynne · 26/07/2023 00:41

Men, same as women, have the right to not want to date above a certin ag. If they don´t find any woman who wants them for that, then that´s their own problem.

Regardless what age you believe you look, like you´re still your age.

And regardless of the reasons you lie about your age, you´re still lying. I will immediately block any guy I catch on a lie, because liars always think there is a reasonable cause they´re lying. Problem is, the cause is only reasonable to them. For everyone else, it´s just a lie.

Ergo, you´re a liar. That´s why guys get angry, and they are damn right to get angry.

QueefQueen80s · 26/07/2023 00:47

hattire · 25/07/2023 20:04

I've never done online dating but I've lied about my age my whole life, even my children don't know how old I am.

If I have to say I knock off five years. I don't think that's pushing it too much.

I know it's tragic etc but I've always done it. I thought I would feel ready to stop at some point but it hasn't happened yet.

Wtf.. why!? Did your mum do the same?

nomoretoriesforme · 26/07/2023 02:22

Livelifelaughter · 25/07/2023 20:02

The comments are fair enough but what is honestly interesting me is that none of the guys except for " Mr 52 sex fiend" were remotely bothered but most of the women on here are ?

I'm with you OP. I don't think you have done anything wrong..

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 26/07/2023 14:47

aurynne · 26/07/2023 00:41

Men, same as women, have the right to not want to date above a certin ag. If they don´t find any woman who wants them for that, then that´s their own problem.

Regardless what age you believe you look, like you´re still your age.

And regardless of the reasons you lie about your age, you´re still lying. I will immediately block any guy I catch on a lie, because liars always think there is a reasonable cause they´re lying. Problem is, the cause is only reasonable to them. For everyone else, it´s just a lie.

Ergo, you´re a liar. That´s why guys get angry, and they are damn right to get angry.

The only true reason I man in their mid 50s would not want to date a 54 year old rather than a 47 year old is because they want someone who they think looks better. They see my pictures, know what job I do etc and decide to pick me. When they know my real age they don't care because they see how I look. The only ONE person who was annoyed wanted a woman younger than him was because he was a twat who thought I couldn't keep up sexually.
So basically you're mistaken, men don't get angry one twat did, the others saw a woman they liked the look of.

OP posts:

HamBone · 26/07/2023 15:19

@Livelifelaughter I’m 48 and to be brutal, I’ve noticed a huge difference looks-wise in our age group, depending on whether you’re looking after yourself or not. Lack of exercise, too much alcohol, sun damage, etc. really catches up with us at this age. A 47-year-old can def. look older than a 54-year-old if they’re not looking after themselves.

I’d still put your real age, but it all comes down to good maintenance now, we’re like vintage cars. 🤣

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 26/07/2023 16:34

HamBone · 26/07/2023 15:19

@Livelifelaughter I’m 48 and to be brutal, I’ve noticed a huge difference looks-wise in our age group, depending on whether you’re looking after yourself or not. Lack of exercise, too much alcohol, sun damage, etc. really catches up with us at this age. A 47-year-old can def. look older than a 54-year-old if they’re not looking after themselves.

I’d still put your real age, but it all comes down to good maintenance now, we’re like vintage cars. 🤣

I agree with this...but I also didn't lie below the age of 50.

OP posts:

northernlight20 · 26/07/2023 17:47

my ex h lied about his age when we first met and stupidly i let it slide, over the years, i realised he was a compulsive liar, would literally lie for no reason. so, i would automatically block anyone i found out had lied about age on a dating site

Lonelylonelylonely · 28/07/2023 04:30

Just to turn it around for a minute though. You've said your upper age limit is 62. Would you be happy to date someone who said they were 62 on their profile, but at message number 2 confessed they were actually 69? Would you consider that a little old for you, or perhaps they couldn't keep up sexually even if they looked really good for their age in the pics?

People have a cut-off for lots of different reasons and if someone decides they don't want to date anyone over 50, that's their business. You might look really good for your age, but 7 years is a lot to lob off. Surely better to use your real age as a filter to lose the guys who are not going to be interested in the real you?

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 28/07/2023 08:17

Lonelylonelylonely · 28/07/2023 04:30

Just to turn it around for a minute though. You've said your upper age limit is 62. Would you be happy to date someone who said they were 62 on their profile, but at message number 2 confessed they were actually 69? Would you consider that a little old for you, or perhaps they couldn't keep up sexually even if they looked really good for their age in the pics?

People have a cut-off for lots of different reasons and if someone decides they don't want to date anyone over 50, that's their business. You might look really good for your age, but 7 years is a lot to lob off. Surely better to use your real age as a filter to lose the guys who are not going to be interested in the real you?

My point is that while most on MN mind the men don't bar one which everyone seems to think is representative. And interestingly when age differences are a topic on MN no one thinks 7 years is too much. I really don't think it is....and the men don't.

OP posts:

okiedokie1 · 28/07/2023 08:21

@Livelifelaughter My point is that while most on MN mind the men don't bar one which everyone seems to think is representative. And interestingly when age differences are a topic on MN no one thinks 7 years is too much. I really don't think it is....and the men don't.
So back to the question, you would or would not be disappointed when the 62 year old man turned out to be 69?

Lonelylonelylonely · 28/07/2023 08:29

An age difference in a relationship of 7 years is not that much, but you're not talking about an age difference in your relationships being 7 years, you're talking about pretending to be 7 years younger than you are. My question was whether this be ok with a man of 69 pretending to be 62 (which was your personal upper limit)?

Obviously you are ok with what you're doing and all the men you've chatted to bar one are ok with it, so why not just crack on and keep doing it? Were you expecting everyone to pile in to say how unreasonable the one man who objected is?

parker06 · 28/07/2023 08:35

You're incredibly defensive of the fact that you're lying about a very significant detail. I would block you instantly

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 28/07/2023 10:42

parker06 · 28/07/2023 08:35

You're incredibly defensive of the fact that you're lying about a very significant detail. I would block you instantly

Are you a guy ? Because while you say that they aren't blocking me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 28/07/2023 10:45

Lonelylonelylonely · 28/07/2023 08:29

An age difference in a relationship of 7 years is not that much, but you're not talking about an age difference in your relationships being 7 years, you're talking about pretending to be 7 years younger than you are. My question was whether this be ok with a man of 69 pretending to be 62 (which was your personal upper limit)?

Obviously you are ok with what you're doing and all the men you've chatted to bar one are ok with it, so why not just crack on and keep doing it? Were you expecting everyone to pile in to say how unreasonable the one man who objected is?

I wouldn't be bothered at 62 with a guy at 69, but I don't know for certain because I am not 62 so my answer is hypothetical as that is the best I can give. But l am 55 meeting up with men who are 62.

OP posts:

TheDuchessOfMN · 28/07/2023 10:47

I would block you instantly too for lying.

Also, why on earth would you be interested in seeing a man who has 50 as his cut-off? (Granted, unless he’s younger, but you’ve said that your preference is 50+)

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 28/07/2023 10:48

Lonelylonelylonely · 28/07/2023 08:29

An age difference in a relationship of 7 years is not that much, but you're not talking about an age difference in your relationships being 7 years, you're talking about pretending to be 7 years younger than you are. My question was whether this be ok with a man of 69 pretending to be 62 (which was your personal upper limit)?

Obviously you are ok with what you're doing and all the men you've chatted to bar one are ok with it, so why not just crack on and keep doing it? Were you expecting everyone to pile in to say how unreasonable the one man who objected is?

I am now interested in knowing why the majority of people on Mumsnet object, may be I should set up a separate post. It sightly reminds me of a scene in Sex in the City when an older women objected to a younger woman dating a man the same age as the older woman and she said "you're fishing in my pool"

OP posts:

Oatycookies · 28/07/2023 10:58

Livelifelaughter · 28/07/2023 10:48

I am now interested in knowing why the majority of people on Mumsnet object, may be I should set up a separate post. It sightly reminds me of a scene in Sex in the City when an older women objected to a younger woman dating a man the same age as the older woman and she said "you're fishing in my pool"

Show quote history

I think Mumsnet is fairly supportive of age gaps involving the woman being older tbf but in this case it’s maybe thy are triggered having had men do the same to them. I was contacted by a guy my age who said he entered his age as 30 ( 6 years younger than his real age) by accident and couldn’t change it. I immediately became suspicious and blocked him.

I can understand shaving one or two years off to protect your identity and to “beat” the age filter but personally for me seven is a bit too much even if the person immediately announces it. I can slightly understand why women don’t disclose if they have kids on their profile (due to male predators) but for me it’s a real turn off if a man claims he doesn’t or doesn’t mention it and then tells me during conversation.

it is a shame there’s so much ageism and men in their 50s and 60s are constantly trying to date significantly younger women.

Oatycookies · 28/07/2023 11:01

I know the kids thing is off topic, but my point was it’s a similar in the sense of not disclosing something important in the profile.

But knowing so many people are “creative” on their profile it makes me think I may get a bit more creative with mine 😂 I’d like to keep my real age but change my profession- for anonymity purpose. I’m already using my middle name instead of my first name for that same reason.

Original poster

Livelifelaughter · 28/07/2023 11:09

Oatycookies · 28/07/2023 11:01

I know the kids thing is off topic, but my point was it’s a similar in the sense of not disclosing something important in the profile.

But knowing so many people are “creative” on their profile it makes me think I may get a bit more creative with mine 😂 I’d like to keep my real age but change my profession- for anonymity purpose. I’m already using my middle name instead of my first name for that same reason.

That's interesting. It doesn't matter to me at 55 if someone doesn't mention they have children until I meet them as sometimes it's nice or helpful to have context such as the children's age; but saying that I don't make assumptions anymore having gone out with a guy with a grown up daughter who seemed to need more attention than an infant...
With jobs, I can understand lying if it's something like Police, M15 something that has a security level.

OP posts:

WineAndMassage · 28/07/2023 11:52

So many men are lying on OLD about their age, marital status, height!! , etc... Do what's best for you. You are not doing anything wrong .. Ignore the pile on..