Dh had a lapdance. I feel broken

[Rabbithole90]

I always thought I would be ok if he ever did it. Never goaded him doing it whatsoever or encouraged but he's come home from a stag do and spent OUR money on it. £40.

I feel cheated on. I know I've not been. But I can't help how I feel. I'm so upset

I know more about addiction than you think. Which is why I know the first time is a choice, and you can choose to get clean and stay clean.

Other posters have made similar comments.

Your level of extremity and your total fixation on blaming sex workers for men's decisions suggests it.

I think I'm not the only one wondering how rose you could hold these insane views.

*how else

You're absolutely right .... Men choosing to go into a strip and buy "dances" choose to do that.

That's where the comparison ends.

There is no addiction in the form of a class a drug to make them repeat that

So it's a choice for them from start to finish.

It's only a choice for addicts the first time.

Hence your analogy DOES NOT WORK.

DS cost us shy of 16k a year at university. He did have a bar job at home earn around 4k a year. God knows how many hours he would have worked at a McDonald's. It wouldn't have paid for his fees, accommodation, food and travel.

Sorry but your post falls flat because if there is no heroin there to use, ergo a heroin trafficker, there is no addict.

Clear and simple.

@BathroomOnTheRight going along with this ridiculous analogy of yours, you don't think that if there was no heroin then people wouldn't just move onto other substances like alcohol or gambling? So those who would usually go to strip clubs would either move to watching arguably even more vulnerable women strip online or just go straight to old school prostitution?

@BathroomOnTheRight @TheoTheopolis23 isn't defending the sex industry, she's defending the sex industry workers. There is a massive difference. I hate child abuse, I would defend the abused.

Yes the poor poor menz, addicted to strippers.

That's ridiculous, it's like saying 'oh they'll do something else anyway', it sounds like an excuse. Even if they move onto something else, it still does not justify, and never will justify, the sex industry.

No, there is no difference because the sex industry workers are the sex industry. There would be no sex industry without the workers.

@MrsMarieMopps as you say it's choice and many are in it for lots of money and minimal hours. Let's not pretend they all don't have choices, it's just those choices don't much appeal to someone wanting fast bucks. However I have a horrible feeling plenty of them might be on here on 20 years moaning about their partners participating in this industry and feeding it. The issue is undoubtedly with the men , but women are feeding it by working in that industry. Not all have no other choices . They restrict their choices long term in many cases by having nothing on their CV that they care to be open about for short term gain .

Do child sex sellers also create a market? Rather than the men who'll pay to abuse them?

@Crikeyalmighty it's all very well to say that as an educated woman who lives in a nice area. Try living in Newport with a kid and no GCSEs, no access to computer and fuck all people to help you to write a cover letter.

Ah, words from the wise .... The sex industry *is" the sex workers.

No, dear - it's the pimps, the customers and the workers.

I have no idea why I'm back trying to communicate with someone and twisted and you.

Good luck anyone who is unwise enough to waste their time on her.

This is a chilling idea -- that if all women refused to do it, men would just force them into it through human trafficking. It's clearly already a part of the industry, even if there are many women on here touting it as a great way to put themselves through law school.

And I'm not sure the OP calling a sex worker who rubbed her naked body over and dry humped her husband a tart is the ultimate anti-feminist act. But yeah, she should focus on her husband's behaviour because apparently strip clubs aren't going away.

Omg these threads always end up the same! Women telling other women what they should be thinking/saying/accepting yet criticising men who do the same.

No wonder MN is full of women who's husbands have fucked off when they're not permitted to go to the pub, stag do or ever look at another woman 😂
Let's lead them round with blinkers

Tale as old as time, people pay for sex.

Stop trying to be the most self righteous of the thread, what you accept or believe has no bearing on anyone else and all this 'I'm just thinking about the poor women' with 'that tart put her tits in my dhs face' is laughable

Also I may be alone in this but although I object to the ethical side of my hypothetical DH or DW having a lap dance, I don't feel any jealousy about it. It's a facade right? It's not cheating as there's not a mutual connection?

if he WAS dancing with her it is cheating.
if HE did not dance too, he is not cheating and has done absolutely nothing wrong.

Love how you’re criticising women for telling other women what to think and say… by telling them what to think and say. Looks like you are just the same as every other mumsnetter.

But then I forgot that all of Mumsnet are married to men so good looking they put Ryan Gosling to shame, no wonder these 25 year old strippers are dying to tempt them!