My partner just slapped me

[yvonneb13]

I'm in shock maybe disbelief I'm a little drunk after being at a festival and my partner phoned me to say our little boy wasn't settling I said I'd get the bus home which I thought was 9pm turns out it was 9;15 so I got home late he went absolutely mental doesn't want to be with me anymore called me so many names and then slapped me across the face and saying if I don't get out his way he's going to batter me I've been with this man for 13 years and this is the first time ever I've seen this side of him I'm currently crying in the living room and he's in the bedroom and I'm just in shock I'm gonna leave him I never thought in a million years he's ever hurt me and hear I am with a sore cheek that's all red it's not fair because I never go out in always the one who looks after the baby and the one night I don't rush to be home when he said I get this I honestly can't believe it

Ah yes you were "triggered" weren't you

You see, your reaction was unreasonable... Not "her" statement.

As a mum and a grandmother please let your mum look after you both for a while.
She's got your back xx

Good decision. No need to speak to him he'll only confuse or upset you. speak to the police tomorrow and let them provide you with the resources available to help you make decisions that are best for you.

Just hope I manage to get some sleep tonight I didn't sleep at all last night and I'm just very emotionally drained I honestly thought I'd be with him forever

Have a good cry, a nice warm bath. Maybe do a bit of reading to take your mind off of it until your eye shut and the book lands on your head..... or is that just me that happens too?

You will be fine OP, it will hurt, but hurt fades over time. You are doing a great job at protecting yourself and your babe.

In proud of you even though I don’t know you
you haven’t wasted your life !! You are starting your life right now and are doing a very brave and most honourable thing for you child (hugs and also you your mum for being so good)

Can I give you a bit of advice? I see a lot like this and worse at work as I deal with divorces on a daily basis .
Call the police non emergency number , they will book a time to see you or for you to go to them and it will make the situation more controlled . Do not underestimate him , people who react this way often after over a decade or more into a relationship are very dangerous , he is about to loose all control he has over you and this will make him mad and angry . Please keep safe .
Unfortunately I lost 2 clients in the last year and both when the husbands realised there was no going back . Women and children are killed often at this point so please please if you remember any advice from MN I hope it’s this one ( that so many already gave ) keep you and your baby safe . Do not underestimate his anger .

I'm not surprised you feel drained. But at some point in the hopefully not too distant future, you're going to look back at this moment and feel so proud for how strong you are being in the face of your partner's abuse. You are being the absolute best role model for your son too, showing him that women don't have to put up with men hitting them just because they're in relationship.

Penny's dropped off be received a text message like a book saying all the sorrys I haven't replied

I'm wishing you lots of love and strength @yvonneb13 . The love bombing is about to start. Hold fast to your self-worth. Remember those threats. They'll be repeated too - first to himself, then to you. Please don't cave. You are 1 million % better without him.

Stay strong. Remember how much the slap hurt and the shock you felt afterwards, and the fact he buggered off without so much as a backwards glance, as though YOU were in the wrong. Remember how much you would hate for your son to think that what his dad did to his mum was okay.

I'm so proud of how strong you are!
Carry on ignoring him and don't let the sorry's and begs for forgiveness change your mind.
You and your baby deserve better than that scumbag.

Stay strong.

Don't text back.

Don't ask why or engage in any conversation.

Stone cold wall.

Put you first.

Feelings are always temporary and time really is a healer. It's hard to see now but it's true. Let your mum take care of you and baby and guide you.

Get to the police tomorrow and start the ball rolling.

You will never regret it! You will 1000% regret going back. And it's too big a chance to take for you and baby.

Keep pushing forward one step at a time one day at a time xx

Don't know what I'd
So without this thread so glad I posted definitely keeping me strongish thank you all ♥️♥️

Yes, he's gone into Mr Nice phase, with the apologies and the love-bombing and promises.

This is very very common when men realise they have lost control of their partner.

Please be careful and don't fall for it - better not to read them or any other messages. Stay clear and focussed and make your appointments with the police and the doctor. Do you have your photo of the mark?

Hopefully mum will go with you. Anyone else around you can be with?

He’s shitting himself because he knows that once people find out he’s a domestic abuser, he’s finished. No one will want to know him.

Don’t engage. He’ll minimise and weasel his way back in. Next time, he might do you or your baby very serious damage.

If he was genuinely sorry he wouldn't have left it till now to say so. He's just worked out that this could get him into big trouble.

Yeah he didn't expect you to leave. His goal was to put the fear in you so you would never go out with your friends again. So you would stay in, frightened to do or say anything incase he went nuts again. Looking to change yourself in order to change him. Which of course, isn't possible.

Just remember, he wasn't sorry when he came home. Because he isn't sorry.

He's just pretending to be now you've left because his violent sharade didn't illicit the response he wanted from you. And because he's shiting it that you've had the balls to leave and might pursue charges against him.

Good on you.
Fuck him.

Absolutely this.

He underestimated you.

This is who he really is.

You just didn't realise this because you do everything.

He slapped you and absolutely had no regrets afterwards or the following day.

Remember that.

His only regret is now your mother knows and he doesn't know who else.

He couldn't care less about you or your child.

He will promise the moon, cry for himself, and threaten to self harm.....anything to get you back.

He is a thug, no more, no less.

Both you and your child deserve so much better.

Report him to the police.

Thugs like him often threaten 50/50 childcare of children they have never done a thing for, just to regain control.

If you report him for DV to the police, I believe you can access Legal Aid, (i think this is true) which would be very helpful for supporting you.

Stay strong

The penny's dropped that he's going to be a single man, that he's going to be dumped by his partner, that people might know why, that he'll have to look after his child on his own if he ever takes them etc. ...... Not that he's done anything wrong.

He no doubt still secretly thinks he's right. He'll have had a huge amount of righteous rage that he was left looking after a child (the mothers job, women's work) while the mother was out enjoying herself; that makes her a bad person, that would be her taking the piss out of him.

(Neither of those are the case if it's him out drinking and her home alone doing childcare, of course).

His values and character remains the same, the tune coming out if his mouth will say otherwise though, while he still thinks he's got a chance of getting op back & smoothing things over. If he thinks he really doesn't, the threats will probably start.

You're doing great and you are stronger than you think
Listen to your Mum and let her support you
Hard I know, but ignore every call and text.
He's not sorry he hurt you, he didn't even speak after he hurt you and nothing he can say will change that
I know you don't see it now, but I promise you there is a happier life there for you
Hope you managed to eat some pizza
Stay strong

Good morning! Hope you are feeling better?

Today needs to be about appointments, with the police and the doctor.

All the very best.

This is what I had in mind to post x

Morning my mum had little one all night so I could try sleep didn't really help tho I've not slept great again he's phoned again this morning as he knows my little boy gets up at 6:30.

Tbh I would block his number and speak to the police.

He’s just reeling you back in. Then the punishment will really start.

Stay safe.