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Original poster

My 4.5 son HATES his name!!!

241 replies

Thefirstime · 16/07/2023 14:10

It’s causing huge tantrums in our house - he hates it and is learning to write another name altogether.. such a shame.. my DH becoming frustrated with it..

someone mentioned to me that it could be to do with self esteem issues, already??

any advice??

OP posts:
ZoyaTheDestroyer · 16/07/2023 19:40

Oh give over, the lot of you. As if a 4.5 year old knows that his name is ‘chavvy’ / ‘youneeq’ / pretentious. Just own your nosiness. You do not ‘need to know the name’ to advise OP to ride out this first of many fads and phases.

PlantsHaveTakenOverMyHome · 16/07/2023 19:40

GarlicGrace · 16/07/2023 19:19

<off topic> @PlantsHaveTakenOverMyHome, I had a Marigold! She started off adorable but evolved into a whiny bitch Confused so I dismembered her.

😂😂😂

GiddyGladys · 16/07/2023 19:45

Find a nn he's happy with and use that till he grows up a little. He's 4.

CurlsandCurves · 16/07/2023 19:50

Instead of agreeing to change it if he really doesn’t like it (he’s 4, kids like and don’t like different things every week at that age!)….

Hows about you big his name up, talk positively about it, make sure everyone uses it. Is he in nursery? I’m sure positive affirmation from a key worker he especially likes would do wonders ‘Hi Xxxx! You’ve got such a cool name, I do love it!’

Sounds corny but we all know people care about what other people think.

PinkyFlamingo · 16/07/2023 20:00

This is completely ridiculous, the usual replies obviously and 100s of replies asking what the name is. What's the point OP in not saying what the name is.

Southlondoner88 · 16/07/2023 20:04

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 16/07/2023 19:40

Oh give over, the lot of you. As if a 4.5 year old knows that his name is ‘chavvy’ / ‘youneeq’ / pretentious. Just own your nosiness. You do not ‘need to know the name’ to advise OP to ride out this first of many fads and phases.

This

70sTomboy · 16/07/2023 20:07

I wanted to be George. Famous Five featured strongly in my life. I was also older than 4! DM had the right approach, 'that's nice, tea is in half an hour '

Stompythedinosaur · 16/07/2023 20:09

I don't think a 4yo is in a good position to choose the change his name. He's too young to make a decision of that type.

Choosing a nickname and letting him know he can choose to change it when he's older is a good compromise.

RubertRoo · 16/07/2023 20:11

I hated my name from age 4-7 as its really unusual and it was the 90s so all the girls in my class had personalised headbands and I could never find one with my name on it.
I was desperate to be called either Emma or Sarah and called myself that for a while.
Once I was older, I loved having an unusual name.
It's just a phase I'm - it will soon be forgotten about.

LulooLemon · 16/07/2023 20:12

What is his name OP?

Threenow · 16/07/2023 20:14

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 16/07/2023 15:36

You’re giving a 4 year old way too much control. Unless you saddled him with a stupid name, you tell him he can change it when he’s 18 and that’s that. My DD hated her name (slightly old fashioned but beautiful) at primary but now as a quirky teenager she loves it.

This!! I can't believe anyone would even consider changing a 4 year old's name because he didn't like it. Lots of people go through stages of not liking their name, he's hardly unique. No wonder there are so many entitled people in the world when their every whim is given into.

Canthave2manycats · 16/07/2023 20:23

I imagine it's a phase.

What if you change his name and he decides later he doesn't like that one either?

Meowandthen · 16/07/2023 20:23

Who is the parent?

I do hope he hasn’t been given a daft yooneek name though.

Meowandthen · 16/07/2023 20:24

Thindog · 16/07/2023 16:20

Four year olds try out different roles. It's normal. We had Mr. T. and Uncle Brenda for a while. Let him be Batman, or whoever, he will revert before long.

Loving Uncle Brenda! 😂

ikno · 16/07/2023 20:28

Thefirstime · 16/07/2023 14:29

He wants to be called the same name as his friend.. as it is a ‘better’ and ‘cooler’ name..

I do think someone in his nursery may have said something to him about his name!!

his name isn’t common but is lovely (to me)

if he really dislikes it I will look to change it

As someone who had an uncommon “unique” name, it honestly can be a burden. Your son is only 4 and may grow out of this, but I remember being teased about my name and it does stick with you to adulthood. Plus all the people who would struggle to spell or pronounce it, or would use it to ask where I’m “from from” - it was a genuine ballache. I hated it and changed it!

Thegoodbadandugly · 16/07/2023 20:29

Some people these days give their children cringey names but it's done. Parent your child.

MumblesParty · 16/07/2023 20:33

I think we need to know the name to advise.
If it’s something like Josh or Ben, but he wants to be called Charlie or Oscar, then I’d just ride it out as it'll almost certainly be a passing phase.
But if he as a wacky name like Prince or Rain then you should maybe take his concerns seriously.
Kids aren’t stupid, and they start to realise quite young if they’re “different”.

Mikimoto · 16/07/2023 20:34

Maybe an interim "trendy initials" nickname for now?
e.g. if his name is Jesus Christ, see what he thinks of JC?

Mumtothreegirlies · 16/07/2023 20:40

Without knowing his name nobody can decide whether his feelings are justified or not.

JudgeRudy · 16/07/2023 20:42

Without knowing his name it's hard to say if it's reasonable for him not object so strongly. I'm guessing you feel it would be too outing which makes me think it is something 'embarrassing'.
Some years back l knew a lad called Jordan. Just as he hit his teens Katie Price, who was known as Jordan, became pretty big and her t@t* were everywhere. He was teased relentlessly. I also went to school with a girl called Fleur. As a child she was anything but girlie....quite overweight and aggressive. People would remark on her name ie how unmatched it was to her...but she didn't give a shite, because she had a great personality and good self esteem.
I didn't know my name was especially unusual until I started nursery but I loved being different. My friend who had a double barrelled name didn't.
So is it the name, and lots of kids would feel that way....or is a more a self esteem issue and wanting to fit in? Depending which it is will affect how you tackle it.
It's worth bearing in mind though that at anytime a name can become the source of ridicule or speculation. I mean who could have predicted Karen would take on another meaning.

maddiemookins16mum · 16/07/2023 20:48

He’s 4. When I was 4 I wanted to be called Hamble.

Thankfully my mum (being the adult), didn’t put up with my nonsense or tantrums.

thegreylady · 16/07/2023 21:15

My son was born in the 70s and when he was 4.5 he wanted to be called Neil or Stuart like his friends.

thegreylady · 16/07/2023 21:17

His name is Guy.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 16/07/2023 21:31

Do not change his name, he is a small child. I would ask him about a nickname. Maybe his initial s "JT" or some other nickname?

caringcarer · 16/07/2023 21:32

Could he use his initials? Tom Goodman as TG.

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