My 4.5 son HATES his name!!!

[Thefirstime]

It’s causing huge tantrums in our house - he hates it and is learning to write another name altogether.. such a shame.. my DH becoming frustrated with it..

someone mentioned to me that it could be to do with self esteem issues, already??

any advice??

Having just remembered that I gave myself a middle name because both my brother and my sister had one and for some unaccountable reason I didn’t ( hard stare towards long gone parents). I always introduced myself with my new middle name, but it didn’t catch on. Signed Viques Rose

Don’t change it but perhaps let him choose a nickname.
My dd wanted to be called Emma when she was 5.
We told her that her name was beautiful and she soon got over it.
She did however like the name her 3 initials spelled and sometimes used that!

You need to tell us the name so we can comment properly.

Could he just use a nickname?

Until we know the name it’s difficult to say. Have you given him a silly name that he will struggle with in the future?

Maybe let him go by whatever for now and when he is older and before bank accounts etc let him decide to change.

What's the name? What's the friend's name?

@SemperIdem I couldn't find a male name equivalent to the middle name hence the example. Lol. What I meant was somewhat similar Jude Law = David Jude Heyworth Law.

My daughter hated her name and wanted to change it. I said ok when you are older you can do what you like. She’s 9 now and hasn’t mentioned hating her name for a long time. He’ll grow out of it or if not he can change it when he’s an adult.

Choose a nickname and wait it out, it's likely just a phase.

You obviously won't say what it is, but he may well be right. So this entire thread is a bit pointless, suggesting he has self-esteem issues is a bit silly, if you've picked an uncommon name, he may well just dislike his name. Maybe let him have a nickname or start going by his middle name. One of my children goes by the shortened version of his name, he chose to do that when he was a similar age, we expected this give his name, we left the decision up to him though.

Or he may as what is said want to have the same name as his pal.

One of mine wanted to be called angel ribbon when he was 4. He hated nursery because they insisted on using the wrong name. He’s now 24 and no longer called angel ribbon.

He is 4 op. He will probably want to be named after another friend next week.

I wanted to be called something completely different when I was younger. I actually got my parents to refer to me by the new name for ages. But I never even think about that now, until this jogged my memory anyway.

I would leave things for now. They all want to be like their friends, and learning to write/spell can be frustrating no matter what your name is.

He's 4. You could go to all the trouble of changing his name, only to find as someone said above that he makes a new friend and wants a new name.

And it may be that you've saddled him with a dud name, but there are a lot more 'unusual' names about nowadays so he should hopefully fit right in. Whereas 30 years ago, Peregrine, Alfred, Phoenix or Ocean might have stood out in a sea of Toms, Marks and James's, this is much less likely to be the case in your average nursery/reception class nowadays.

Could he be referred to by his middle name?

I definitely wouldn't change it unless it persists for years! My son wanted to change his not very common name for the most common name at the time because 'it was more cool'. That did not last.

This. When DS was a similar age he begged us to paint his bedroom orange, so we did. Turned out he’d chosen orange because it was his friend’s favourite colour. He was then struck with an orange bedroom for 5 years.

He’s 4. It’s fine that he’s interested in the possibility of other names and unsurprising that he likes his cool friend’s name. None of that means his actual name is bad or that you change it.

Don't change his name-just use his preferred name until he changes his mind. Don't make. Big deal out of it.

Slightly going against the grain but I hated my name as a 4 year old and still hated it as an adult. So it depends on his reasons. I agree his reasons do sound like transitory ones, but don't dismiss his views just because he's young.

It depends what his name is, if it’s something like “bispitath” then maybe have a rethink.

Whereas one of our mates is still happily answering to Digger aged 56.

Is it a long name? If it is he could be frustrated with having to learn to write it. His friends name is probably shorter and therefore easier. Is there a shorter cooler nn potential?

My nephew insisted he should be called Jeff at the same age.

I would be surprised if he’s bothered by how ‘normal’ his name is at 4. 4 year olds have quite small worlds really and any name of someone they know is ‘normal’.

Four year olds try out different roles. It's normal. We had Mr. T. and Uncle Brenda for a while. Let him be Batman, or whoever, he will revert before long.

It's possibly just a phase. Let him use a nickname/alternative name, there's no need to officially change it right now on the whim of a 4 year old.

Not quite the same, but my 5 year old only wants to be called his name recently, no nicknames or anything. He gets upset at being called anything but his full first name.