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Original poster

Dp wanting anal more often…

427 replies

Forums4321 · 15/07/2023 22:56

Hi all, I’m not sure the rules on MN about certain words language (anal etc) so let’s hope this isn’t taken down!

looking for some opinions. My dp of 8 years, has resorted to anal the past 3 times we have had sex. I was the type of person that said I’d never do anal, until last year when we were a bit freaky and he wanted to do it so I tried it out. He had done it with other women before me but as I said I’d never do it we hadn’t gone down that route. When we tried it out for the first time I was quite open to it as I’ve been with him for so long, feel comfortable and open to more sexual experiences if it makes him happy.

we only did it a few times here and there over the past year but last week during sex he started ‘playing around’ down there and went for it again. I wasn’t bothered and just took it as another one-off. Then this week it happened again and tonight it has happened again. So the last 3 times we have had sex, we have started normally and it has ended up in the other ‘place’.

He kept saying how amazing his orgasm was from it etc due to it being ‘tight’. Tonight when he was finishing he mumbled that it’s so much better (meaning better than the vagina I assume). I instantly felt a bit annoyed with that comment but thought he had just said it in the moment. However after he had finished and stood up he repeatedly was telling me how amazing it was and ‘so much better’ ‘way better’.

He hasn’t realised this has caused me any offense, he’s just happy at the moment. But I feel quite upset about this. I feel like my vagina is not ‘good enough’ after he’s now CHOSEN to switch to anal for 3 times in a row! The comments about it being so much better is making me feel like im not tight down there so he’s preferring anal. Ofcourse it’s natural the bum hole would be much tighter I know this but if he’s deliberately choosing now to go down that route i feel I must be quite loose.

also, I don’t want this to become a regular thing. I’m happy to do it once in a while, ‘spice it up’ etc but I don’t want it to become normal.

what do you all think?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Tribblesarelovely · 16/07/2023 20:44

I visited a medical museum at the end of my nurse training. There were all kinds of preserved bits of bodies on display. One of them was the anus of a Victorian prostitute (weird I know). It was completely broken because she had so much anal sex, obviously resulting in faecal incontinence. I’ve never forgotten it.

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 20:48

Mermaidparades · 16/07/2023 20:24

I’m dubious about how helpful it is to the OP to drag out a pro/ anti anal sex debate all day on her thread.
@Forums4321 please think about how you would like your future relationship to pan out and what your sex life would contain. Only you can decide that.

Keep trying to scrape a recovery from all your previous posts; you're convincing noone, but don't let that stop you.

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 20:50

Tribblesarelovely · 16/07/2023 20:44

I visited a medical museum at the end of my nurse training. There were all kinds of preserved bits of bodies on display. One of them was the anus of a Victorian prostitute (weird I know). It was completely broken because she had so much anal sex, obviously resulting in faecal incontinence. I’ve never forgotten it.

Welcome to the 21st century - where women in "loving" marriages and partnerships get to be treated like 19th century prostitutes were treated by their punters (or forced themselves to do to try to avoid repeated pregnancies).

Such progress.

Ohmygiddyauntie · 16/07/2023 20:59

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 20:36

It's not helpful for the AA to suggest her insides are about to collapse and a 101 other doomsday scenarios.

Does AA stand for "anti anal" lol.

The average crown you mean
Not anti anal. Just typical.

That's a bit like trying to call women, cos women.

Nobody said her insides are about to collapse - you obviously can't hold an argument without trying to use extreme hyperbole and exaggeration.

We've quoted facts and warnings from medical professionals who get an overview.... Which I doubt the anal cheer leading brigade are or have. Those facts and warnings are relevant.

One of you is so dumb you're trying to say it's child birth, not anal sex .... Whereas the whole fkg point is that it's both, and that most women will go through pregnancy and childbirth. They don't need damaging their anus etc on too of that. Those professionals have outlined the factors clearly ; pregnancy, hormones, spincter, structure etc. It's the combination.

Maybe a woman regularly or even irregularly having anal sex will escape without ABT detrimental effects, or maybe she won't. It's a stupid idea to increase the likelihood however .... Above all when you yourself don't enjoy it and are only tolerating for a selfish (in this case abusive) partner.

Lol
Hyperbole, ranting, swearing.

You seem rather invested in this particular sex act.

FriendsDrinkBook · 16/07/2023 21:02

Could the bickering please stop. I think the op would really benefit from coming back to her thread and that's unlikely if this continues.

jannier · 16/07/2023 21:12

Ohmygiddyauntie · 16/07/2023 19:29

Have you missed the ops post were she wrote the ops partner had anal sex with other women.

We get it you don't like anal sex. Some of us do. Get over it.

Show quote history

Or maybe he just says loads do it to make the op feel abnormal and agree rather than risk his scorn....or he's coerced previous partners too.

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 21:14

Ohmygiddyauntie · 16/07/2023 20:59

Lol
Hyperbole, ranting, swearing.

You seem rather invested in this particular sex act.

Show quote history

No, I think that's you, dear.

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 21:15

jannier · 16/07/2023 21:12

Or maybe he just says loads do it to make the op feel abnormal and agree rather than risk his scorn....or he's coerced previous partners too.

Show quote history

Nail on the head.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/07/2023 21:26

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 21:14

No, I think that's you, dear.

Show quote history

I agree. It is extremely important to point out the risks of anal sex. These can alow inoperable and therefore irreversible.

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 21:30

Ohmygiddyauntie · 16/07/2023 20:59

Lol
Hyperbole, ranting, swearing.

You seem rather invested in this particular sex act.

Show quote history

I'm invested in women not being conditioned, abused & mistreated.

You, in the other hand .... Well

porridgeisbae · 16/07/2023 21:43

How do you feel about the conversation you had @Forums4321 ?

gemstoneju · 16/07/2023 21:49

Interesting that the writers of this report mention that the risks to girls and women are underplayed by doctors who don't want to be accused of heteronormative bias. This seems to be the case with PHSE as well, where the girl's 'choice' to have VI/AI is presented as simplistically as the choice to wear a skirt or trousers on any given day. Rise in popularity of anal sex has led to health problems for women | Sexual health | The Guardian

Rise in popularity of anal sex has led to health problems for women

Incontinence, bleeding and STIs among the consequences, say two surgeons, who want doctors to have open chats with patients on the topic

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

justasking111 · 16/07/2023 22:09

FriendsDrinkBook · 16/07/2023 21:02

Could the bickering please stop. I think the op would really benefit from coming back to her thread and that's unlikely if this continues.

It's always at the weekend the pot stirrers appear. Oh and school holidays 🙄

Emz6103 · 16/07/2023 22:23

I'll bet your a guy!!

Emz6103 · 16/07/2023 22:36

Agreed!! Do you think we should tell her that the thread is nothing to do with her liking anal at all so there's nothing to "get over"? Lmao might stop all the crazy replies of "oh you sound like you secretly enjoy it" bla bla bla......no wonder men treat women with such disrespect when you have women like this helping it all along

Emz6103 · 16/07/2023 22:39

😂 omg excellent retort!!!

mrwalkensir · 16/07/2023 23:11

Dad was an anaethetist and mentioned (apologetically and politely as we were young) that when men came into A & E who were "straight", they were fairly obviously not when it came to normal procedures (guessing taking temps). Anal is damaging. Even worse if your female.

Jennybeans401 · 16/07/2023 23:16

@gemstoneju this is true and AI is increasingly presented as something perfectly normal nowadays when in times gone by it really wasn't!! It's not nature's way for a woman, our bodies create natural lubrication and its pleasurable to have vaginally intercourse.

Hawkins0001 · 16/07/2023 23:28

Considering the activity has noting to do with reproduction how and why did the practice begin of people having at it, up the wazoo ?

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 23:52

Hawkins0001 · 16/07/2023 23:28

Considering the activity has noting to do with reproduction how and why did the practice begin of people having at it, up the wazoo ?

Historically it was sometimes used as a form of contraception by women who were in no position to either refuse penetrative sex, or bring another mouth to feed into the world.

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 23:58

There were also quite a few classical cultures in which slaves of both sexes (Rome) were sexually abused and raped, and sometimes subordinates in a military/social hierarchy of the same sex (Sparta etc) were sexually abused and raped. It's possible that the only type of penetrative sex men could have and became accustomed to having with male slaves and subordinates transferee across to slaves of both sexes.

Seryse · 17/07/2023 00:03

Maybe she hasn't updated the thread cause she took the advice and is pegging him as we speak... well, type.

ImaginaryDragon · 17/07/2023 00:26

Seryse · 17/07/2023 00:03

Maybe she hasn't updated the thread cause she took the advice and is pegging him as we speak... well, type.

😂

Sunsetandsunrise · 17/07/2023 00:58

TheoTheopolis23 · 15/07/2023 23:00

"However, women who engage in anal sex are at greater risk from it than men. “Increased rates of faecal incontinence and anal sphincter injury have been reported in women who have anal intercourse,” the report said.
“Women are at a higher risk of incontinence than men because of their different anatomy and the effects of hormones, pregnancy and childbirth on the pelvic floor.
“Women have less robust anal sphincters and lower anal canal pressures than men, and damage caused by anal penetration is therefore more consequential."

That's what I think

Yep alladis!

Hawkins0001 · 17/07/2023 01:44

TheoTheopolis23 · 16/07/2023 23:58

There were also quite a few classical cultures in which slaves of both sexes (Rome) were sexually abused and raped, and sometimes subordinates in a military/social hierarchy of the same sex (Sparta etc) were sexually abused and raped. It's possible that the only type of penetrative sex men could have and became accustomed to having with male slaves and subordinates transferee across to slaves of both sexes.

Much appreciated for the analysis.

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