Dp wanting anal more often…

[Forums4321]

Hi all, I’m not sure the rules on MN about certain words language (anal etc) so let’s hope this isn’t taken down!

looking for some opinions. My dp of 8 years, has resorted to anal the past 3 times we have had sex. I was the type of person that said I’d never do anal, until last year when we were a bit freaky and he wanted to do it so I tried it out. He had done it with other women before me but as I said I’d never do it we hadn’t gone down that route. When we tried it out for the first time I was quite open to it as I’ve been with him for so long, feel comfortable and open to more sexual experiences if it makes him happy.

we only did it a few times here and there over the past year but last week during sex he started ‘playing around’ down there and went for it again. I wasn’t bothered and just took it as another one-off. Then this week it happened again and tonight it has happened again. So the last 3 times we have had sex, we have started normally and it has ended up in the other ‘place’.

He kept saying how amazing his orgasm was from it etc due to it being ‘tight’. Tonight when he was finishing he mumbled that it’s so much better (meaning better than the vagina I assume). I instantly felt a bit annoyed with that comment but thought he had just said it in the moment. However after he had finished and stood up he repeatedly was telling me how amazing it was and ‘so much better’ ‘way better’.

He hasn’t realised this has caused me any offense, he’s just happy at the moment. But I feel quite upset about this. I feel like my vagina is not ‘good enough’ after he’s now CHOSEN to switch to anal for 3 times in a row! The comments about it being so much better is making me feel like im not tight down there so he’s preferring anal. Ofcourse it’s natural the bum hole would be much tighter I know this but if he’s deliberately choosing now to go down that route i feel I must be quite loose.

also, I don’t want this to become a regular thing. I’m happy to do it once in a while, ‘spice it up’ etc but I don’t want it to become normal.

what do you all think?

Trauma in childbirth can weaken, tear or permanently damage the anus and perineum, and so can anal sex, whereas vaginal intercourse rarely does, unless the woman has very rough sex/ is raped. The body needs to be treated with care whether in labour or sex. I really don't see the point you're making.

Women's bodies aren't a sex doll orifice free for all/buffet for men .... In the last two weeks or so on here, we've had a man pressuring his new Mum wife for anal sex because she has a bad tear from birth and can't have vaginal intercourse. He thinks it's just a matter of him swapping to another hole ... One that's not evolved for sex.

Now this man pressuring for/assuming anal sex is on the menu - cause he finds it tighter and gets a better orgasm.

I don't know if this is due to porn use or what, but the attitude towards sex and women's bodies is fucked up and frightening.

We've gone from an attitude of entitlement to penetrative sex with their partner ... To an automatic assumption & entitlement to anal sex, something that is not easy, not natural, often unpleasant to painful, and risks damage. It is an outhole for shit ateotd.

Babies don’t come out of your bum. Just FYI

Jesus Christ, I hope no women with actual life changing birth injuries turn up on this thread. Your post needs to come with a trigger warning. How minimising.

I would suggest any women upset by this post don't take pelvic floor advise from a poster with this level of dismissiveness over the realities of the impact of childbirth on female anatomy.

I don't normally call 'hairy handed troll', and that is so deeply offensive, but... anybody who has actually pushed a baby out of there knows how academic the claim feels when you are the one actually doing it...

These men are porn sick imho. That's where the "normalcy" and assumptions are coming from about anal sex.

Also extremely entitled and selfish.

Some men might want h porn, which currently includes anal sex as much as vaginal, but would be capable of recognising that porn sex is not real sex, and not transferable to their sex lives and relationships. These men are so "dumb", they don't recognise that, or don't want to.

Have you missed the ops post were she wrote the ops partner had anal sex with other women.

We get it you don't like anal sex. Some of us do. Get over it.

These men should be made to have a dildo the proportions of an average penis or larger shoved up their arses repeatedly.

(And they have bigger anuses, a prostate, and as the article I quoted stated, more robust structure there).

You replied directly to someone talking about anal sex. They stated about it being as damaging as putting a pencil in your ear. You stated that babies don’t come out of your ear. Well they don’t come out of your anus either.
Stop pretending to be outraged to cover up your embarrassment from a really shit come back.

What the fuck does that signify??

He could easily have had it with other women because he saw it and thought it's normal from porn. It's been common in heteronporb for years now

Strong logic luv.

Must by the same logic that caused you to think it's a good idea to take dicks up your shitter.

I don't need to get over anything sweetheart.

Oh and this op's partner is an abuser ..... As evidenced by her other thread.

Cheer leading for anal sex and going on ....
Yaaawn - about you liking anal sex, has no place here.

Read the fkg room.

Whether you like it or not isn’t the point-the OP doesn’t, finds it painful and doesn’t want to do it. Instead of being a loving, kind husband, he asks when she’ll be ready to do it again after her clearly feeling bad about refusing him. I wouldn’t put up with that crap from my husband. But it’s not helpful to the OP to hear some of you love it.

I agree about the ops husband however the thread has been swamped by the AA mob.
It's not helpful for the AA to suggest her insides are about to collapse and a 101 other doomsday scenarios.

If you don't like something don't do it. Simples.

Ahhhh youre so cool, i wish i was like you 😍

I don't normally check old threads op , but as a few have mentioned your partner's previous behaviour I decided to have a look.

He's not a good partner is he? Please keep posting and thinking about what you want.

Op says she finds anal sex painful and tries to lessen the pain and "handle" it by being the one to move.

She says she's hurt & offended by how much her partner goes on about how much better he finds her abuse than her vagina.

Posters relate that in her other thread she' days she's unhappy and also that her partner's behaviour sounds v abusive.

I've quoted an example of his abuse.

The anal sex cheer leaders feel the need to go on about how they like anal sex..

Nobody fucking cares.

You are completely missing the point.

And pointing out that's it's enjoyable is just making things worse for op trying to deal with her abuser.

She's in the type of relationship where she can't even express that she doesn't enjoy something and doesn't want to do it without offering him "compensation" by saying she"ll still do it occasionally.
So now he's marking off the ass day on a calendar.

What shitty (pun intended), irresponsible, selfish people you are.

*And pointing out that's it's enjoyable

By that I obviously mean pointing out that you think it's enjoyable.

all the anal virgins on this thread @User1789 tells me that you don't care about women's health and well-being.

This is about a woman who does not want, does not enjoy and - most importantly - did not consent to anal sex and you and the other cheerleaders are calling us prudes.

I'd rather be a prude than a fucking rape apologist.

"If you don't like something don't do it. Simples"
Or if you're wife tells you she doesn't enjoy it and finds it painful don't coerce her into doing anyway!

I’m dubious about how helpful it is to the OP to drag out a pro/ anti anal sex debate all day on her thread.
@Forums4321 please think about how you would like your future relationship to pan out and what your sex life would contain. Only you can decide that.

You're right. Shame you were so busy waving the flags for men's sex rights earlier that you missed that the OP is in an abusive relationship

It's not helpful for the AA to suggest her insides are about to collapse and a 101 other doomsday scenarios.

Does AA stand for "anti anal" lol.

The average crown you mean
Not anti anal. Just typical.

That's a bit like trying to call women, cos women.

Nobody said her insides are about to collapse - you obviously can't hold an argument without trying to use extreme hyperbole and exaggeration.

We've quoted facts and warnings from medical professionals who get an overview.... Which I doubt the anal cheer leading brigade are or have. Those facts and warnings are relevant.

One of you is so dumb you're trying to say it's child birth, not anal sex .... Whereas the whole fkg point is that it's both, and that most women will go through pregnancy and childbirth. They don't need damaging their anus etc on too of that. Those professionals have outlined the factors clearly ; pregnancy, hormones, spincter, structure etc. It's the combination.

Maybe a woman regularly or even irregularly having anal sex will escape without ABT detrimental effects, or maybe she won't. It's a stupid idea to increase the likelihood however .... Above all when you yourself don't enjoy it and are only tolerating for a selfish (in this case abusive) partner.

@Clymene please don’t be rude to me again 🙄
I based my responses on this post.

Hear hear.

Also such typical cool girl idiocy that anyone who says anal sex is shite (pun intended) is called an "anal virgin". How the fk do we think found out it was shite?
They really should be careful having anal in future, given their brains appear to be in the vicinity of their arses instead of their heads.

Lol.

Where in earth do you think are?

*That's a bit like trying to call women, cis women.

@TheoTheopolis23 sorry, I don’t understand what you mean.