Page 25 | Dating Thread 242 - Mid-Summer daters

qqq82 · 2023-07-11T16:33:52+00:00

The Rules: 1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

NervesOfCotton · 28/08/2023 18:00

NellyTheCakeThat's true, & seeing as he says he's working until 8pm every night then there must be a whole load of other people who aren't managing their own gardens!

Itssnotunusual I'm sure he won't mind what you are wearing, just make sure you are comfortable

Nugg Aah lovely, I'm so glad it went well.

SamW98 · 28/08/2023 20:10

Well just home after a very good date. He was shorter and older than he’d said on his profile - aren’t they all. But much better looking than his photos - I was very pleasantly surprised.
Went to a nice bar and chatted non stop then onto a pub when that closed.

A 6 hour date that could have gone on even longer if we both didn’t have to get home as we are working tomorrow and a kiss at the end.

He’s already messaged saying he really found me attractive born in looks and personality and hopes I want a second date.

Im really smiling - an unexpected positive date after I was a bit half arsed about it.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 28/08/2023 21:09

SamW98
😊

Nugg · 28/08/2023 21:15

@SamW98 that's lovely! Sounds very promising

NervesOfCotton · 28/08/2023 22:58

Lovely updateSamW. 6 hours is a nice length for a date! Had he lied about his age by much?

So, my mammoth Right swiping session on Bumble has got me nowhere. 3 matches, one after sex, one was just very strange & one, only when I asked him, revealed that he has 7 children ages 2-10.

WtP · 28/08/2023 23:19

Glad it went well @SamW98 😊
I guess dating a taller woman can be awkward for some?

SamW98 · 28/08/2023 23:36

He said he was 54 and he’s 58 and 5’11 and I’d say more like 5’9 but it actually didn’t bother me.

Conversation was very easy and it flowed which I’ve not had from previous dates. He asked me if I would visit his town next Saturday but I’ve already got plans with friends but said I can do Sunday. We’re just over an hour apart - but it’s a pretty easy journey either by car or train. I’m Essex he’s Suffolk but on same train line. So it’s very doable.

I don’t ever get overly excited about anything but it’s definitely the best date I’ve had in years and let’s left me smiling to myself all evening.

Starseeking · 29/08/2023 00:45

Good to hear your date went well @SamW98, here's hoping the relationship continues progressing well!

Nugg · 29/08/2023 08:36

I got a "not going any further" text. shame as he was the first guy I have met and liked!

Onwards and upwards. No other irons atm, work crazy busy so will concentrate on that for a little while again before striking once more lol

NervesOfCotton · 29/08/2023 09:20

Oh Nugg I'm sorry. That's always the way isn't it, when you like them. At least he told you quickly I suppose. Hugs from me

Nugg · 29/08/2023 10:47

Thanks @NervesOfCotton am ok, nothing invested!

However. SEVEN children....!!

NellyTheCake · 29/08/2023 10:47

@SamW98
Sounds like a great first date. I hope the second date is just as good.

It's funny how people feel age/height etc is so important when swiping. But if you find that connection then those things are no longer so relevant.

@Nugg sorry to hear that's happened.

Itssnotunusual · 29/08/2023 11:07

Nugg · 29/08/2023 08:36

I got a "not going any further" text. shame as he was the first guy I have met and liked!

Onwards and upwards. No other irons atm, work crazy busy so will concentrate on that for a little while again before striking once more lol

That's a shame. At least he said something early on rather than ghosting or letting you invest for a few dates.

Onwards and upwards!

Itssnotunusual · 29/08/2023 11:14

@NellyTheCake
I really don't get lying about height or age either. Age as long as its within my 'acceptable range' is something I'm not remotely bothered about. Though weirdly dating someone younger than me isn't something I'd do! Older is fine 😅

Height is such a none issue for me. Such a silly thing to lie about too- as if it's not the easiest thing to suss out when meeting someone for the first time! Then again I know for some people height is a big deal and would potentially write people off for having the wrong numbers without having even met them first so I can kind of understand why people do lie.

NellyTheCake · 29/08/2023 12:10

@Itssnotunusual
I have lied about my age before. I knocked 4 years off to put myself under 50.

Why? Because so many men seem to be unable to date women older than them. A quick look through profiles on Match, for example, shows the majority of men in their 50s saying they are looking for women aged 39-49.

I don't like it but I understand why people do it. I'm thinking of paying for tinder just so I can hide my age.

I'm happy to date 10yrs either side of my age. Younger or older doesn't bother me. It's the connection/spark that's important.

Until the apps stop showing people's age then people will continue to lie about it.

Lying about height on the other hand, makes no sense. Although I think some just guess/over estimate.

Itssnotunusual · 29/08/2023 12:16

NellyTheCake · 29/08/2023 12:10

@Itssnotunusual
I have lied about my age before. I knocked 4 years off to put myself under 50.

Why? Because so many men seem to be unable to date women older than them. A quick look through profiles on Match, for example, shows the majority of men in their 50s saying they are looking for women aged 39-49.

I don't like it but I understand why people do it. I'm thinking of paying for tinder just so I can hide my age.

I'm happy to date 10yrs either side of my age. Younger or older doesn't bother me. It's the connection/spark that's important.

Until the apps stop showing people's age then people will continue to lie about it.

Lying about height on the other hand, makes no sense. Although I think some just guess/over estimate.

Definitely a slightly different situation here- I'm in my mid 20s so I'm happy to date up a few years (eg Mr Analogue has 11 years on me) but dating down is a definite no. I have a toddler and few terrible years worth of baggage that I doubt anyone younger than me would be equipped to understand. I wouldn't go near anyone under 20 with a bargepole for a multitude of reasons!

SamW98 · 29/08/2023 12:37

I’ve been completely honest about my age and height on OLD because I don’t see any point in lying. However it has probably put some off as they presume most people knock a few years off.

I didn't mention either to him but he did very quickly tell me his age so it was out there straight away . It doesn’t bother me as he’s only a few years older than me and within my age range. Didn’t mention his height either but it was obvious he’s only a couple of inches taller than me. Though had he put his real height I may not have swiped as it’s right on the borderline.

Main thing for me was he was instantly recognisable and actually better looking than his photos.

We really did click and yes there was a spark. And he was very open about a previous health problem that he said he’d rather tell me from the start.

So there’s definitely potential there and time will tell but I’ve put my profile on ‘taking a break’ for now while I see how this goes. I know a lot say multi dating is the way forward but that’s not for me.

Itssnotunusual · 29/08/2023 13:18

SamW98 · 29/08/2023 12:37

I’ve been completely honest about my age and height on OLD because I don’t see any point in lying. However it has probably put some off as they presume most people knock a few years off.

I didn't mention either to him but he did very quickly tell me his age so it was out there straight away . It doesn’t bother me as he’s only a few years older than me and within my age range. Didn’t mention his height either but it was obvious he’s only a couple of inches taller than me. Though had he put his real height I may not have swiped as it’s right on the borderline.

Main thing for me was he was instantly recognisable and actually better looking than his photos.

We really did click and yes there was a spark. And he was very open about a previous health problem that he said he’d rather tell me from the start.

So there’s definitely potential there and time will tell but I’ve put my profile on ‘taking a break’ for now while I see how this goes. I know a lot say multi dating is the way forward but that’s not for me.

Edited

I'm not up for multi dating either. I'd rather put my energy into one solid relationship prospect that half arse several

ThePredictableScript · 29/08/2023 15:20

Ahh.. I went on my first tinder date 4 months ago, had a 4 month relationship off the back of it then got dumped a week ago! I tried to end it a few times and he asked me not to then just went cold and ended it after a bicker. We was incompatible tbf but reading this has me scared! Are the men really that bad out there on the Tinder Streets😮‍💨 I'm not looking forwards to it😣

Bowbobobo · 29/08/2023 17:32

Username changed so checking back in. Off to read the thread

WtP · 29/08/2023 17:51

SamW98 · 29/08/2023 12:37

I’ve been completely honest about my age and height on OLD because I don’t see any point in lying. However it has probably put some off as they presume most people knock a few years off.

I didn't mention either to him but he did very quickly tell me his age so it was out there straight away . It doesn’t bother me as he’s only a few years older than me and within my age range. Didn’t mention his height either but it was obvious he’s only a couple of inches taller than me. Though had he put his real height I may not have swiped as it’s right on the borderline.

Main thing for me was he was instantly recognisable and actually better looking than his photos.

We really did click and yes there was a spark. And he was very open about a previous health problem that he said he’d rather tell me from the start.

So there’s definitely potential there and time will tell but I’ve put my profile on ‘taking a break’ for now while I see how this goes. I know a lot say multi dating is the way forward but that’s not for me.

Edited

I have always been totally honest about height and age + any pictures on OLD profile have been within the lasts 3 months.
I guess as I'm 6'3" (1.91m) height isn't an issue but I will be 58 in 2 weeks time and can't see what hiding my age will achieve other than make me look a bit of an idiot.
I did set a min height for dates at 5'8" though I prefer taller women anyway, but as to age I was quite happy up to 6 years older and met some beautiful ladies at that ceiling along the way.

@ThePredictableScript I don't know much about Tinder but I got dumped after a very passionate 3 month relationship and bloody hell it hurts but as I'm a forgiving soul we are still friends and she's very happy I'm in a new relationship that IMO is going really well 😊

NervesOfCotton · 29/08/2023 18:03

Nugg Yeah, I think I should have just unmatched because I said 'I'm really sorry but with my 2 & the ages of your 7, it's just not what I'm looking for. I wish you all the best'

& I got a barrage of abuse back 'So I'm not allowed to date just coz I've got 7 & you have the perfect 2, Like I'm sure all of your life is so perfect'. Etc. Yikes

Nugg · 29/08/2023 18:31

@NervesOfCotton you dodged a bullet 😂😮

Slothmomma · 30/08/2023 08:20

@NervesOfCotton 7! Wow! And he thinks that you're unreasonable to think that wouldn't work for you - hes delusional.

Good news on the date @SamW98

SamW98 · 30/08/2023 14:39

NervesOfCotton · 29/08/2023 18:03

Nugg Yeah, I think I should have just unmatched because I said 'I'm really sorry but with my 2 & the ages of your 7, it's just not what I'm looking for. I wish you all the best'

& I got a barrage of abuse back 'So I'm not allowed to date just coz I've got 7 & you have the perfect 2, Like I'm sure all of your life is so perfect'. Etc. Yikes

And why are these prime catches single? It’s a mystery 🤣