Dating Thread 242 - Mid-Summer daters

[qqq82]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Can anyone advise...I just joined Match. My bloomin' exH is on there and showed up as someone I might like! I don't want him knowing I'm on there. It's none of his business. I activated incognito mode so I could go onto his profile and block him. Does that mean my profile will now be invisible to him? I won't show up but show as 'blocked' will I?

MumLass
😵‍💫😱

the apps must be designed around this
once blocked your ok I reckon

how was he selling himself or did you dare not read it

I have never paid for OLD and have been seeing someone I met on there for over six months and am very happy. I'm also in my fifties. I found Bumble and Facebook dating were the best for me. I honestly couldn't see the point of paying for Bumble, I didn't want to see who had liked me if I hadn't liked them, what's the point, and if we'd both liked each other then we'd matched and could message anyway 🤷‍♀️

@Stepcount sending you hugs xxxxxx

@Iveforgottenwhatitwas two of my friends in their early 50s have paid the lifetime membership on Bumble and they just prefer not trawling through the site. I'd say try the day ones so you can breeze through everyone for 2.99

There's day costs? ive only seen week as the minimum so far

@Iveforgottenwhatitwas if you log in via the Web, sometimes they have a day rate available

Ha! I did read his profile. His abusive behaviour and 99 red flags weren't mentioned funnily enough...

MumLass

ugh
had a horrific run in with my ex today
Still a cxxt I can safely say

albeit on WhatsApp , better than face to face

Stepcount I'm glad you finally know, & I hope you are ok.
MumLass Myself & my ex both saw each other on OLD, Having just signed up I didn't really know about blocking yet. He was an absolute arsehole about it.

I was chatting to this new man, lovely at first but I realised that he was being twatty about everything that I like, Taste in music, TV, hobbies etc. Everything I told him, his reply was 'LOL, really?!' Or ' Surprised you admit that' etc. Worst one was 'I'd rather be dead than do that'.

I told him that we had 0 in common & he said he likes chatting to me & when we actually meet, we might find we have loads in common', but then I thought well I don't like the things that he likes, but I'm answering with things like 'Oh I'd like to know more about that' or 'Not really my thing but sounds like fun'

Why do some men have to be so rude!

Well I’ve hit a date tomorrow. We’ve spoken 3 times on phone this week over 2 hours each time and had a lot to chat about.

Meeting midway between where we live (about 45 minutes apart) in a nice bar I’ve been to before so let’s see how this one goes

Well more fool me. Apparently blocking a number on WhatsApp doesn't block it on the your actual phone so yday I got another message from MrNoEffort asking for my thoughts on some 'naked cuddles' ffs 🙄
Today I received a huge bunch of flowers from MrLocal and then some fancy chocolates in a separate delivery
I'm honestly not used to someone being so nice to me
The blip we had seems to have been forgotten about.

SamW98 That sounds lovely, I hope it goes well.

Update from me. Had a lovely weekend with Mr Music. He said he wanted to see me during the week. I hadn’t heard from him by Wednesday so I sent a quick message. He suggested Thursday, then cancelled as he was too tired to do something. Moved to tonight and he cancelled an hour before suggesting we push to Saturday as he was wrecked from a tough week. I can’t do Saturday (which he knew), so I have deleted his number and our WhatsApp chat. Not blocking at this stage, as to be honest I doubt I’ll hear from him! All makes me feel a bit odd and disappointed as he didn’t seem like that, but lesson learned. Can’t remember who said it but it’s true, if he was that interested he would make time. I have closed my dating profile too so that will have unmatched me with him anyway - did that at the start of the week, knowing I would take a break if this didn’t progress.

I am on a dating break, but still going to follow this thread.

@LittleFloatingGhost oh no it's always so frustrating isn't it
It's going to take me a long while before I'm not expecting to be dropped and ghosted all of a sudden
Because it doesn't matter how 'interested' they seem at the beginning it can still happen and it's really unsettling

LittleFloatingGhost

he may well reappear is is doing that annoying retreating after intimacy thing that men do
Sorry !

qqq82

gosh !
naked cuddles 🤢

and chocolate and flowers 💐
he’s a charmer isn’t he !

Thank you. At least this one hasn’t sent a semi naked photo the day before so looking more positive than the last couple of idiots 🤣

Oh no LittleFloatingGhost How disappointing! He might actually be knackered but yeah, it's not difficult to put a bit of effort in & not muck you around. I hope you are ok.

SamW Haha, even better then

@NervesOfCotton @qqq82 @Thisisworsethananticpated

Having slept on it, I know he is super busy at work and goes away for a few weeks weeks next week - so has to get something finished. But he needs to improve his communication and he needs to make more effort with this. So by not having his number it is on him and if he doesn’t then there we go.

Yes LittleFloatingGhost That's what happened with my brief one wasn't it, they might have 'reasons' for the crappy communication, but it's perfectly fine for us to say 'No, I need more effort than that'.

I hope you've got something fun to do/some lovely self care for you today.x

@NervesOfCotton yep. I am feeling okay, no self care needed, just a period of reflection 😂

The whole things has been enlightening though. I know I much prefer relationships to random fun or hook ups, which is what my intention initially was. I would like to be someone’s person again, but not just anyone’s. But I am also content in me, I have a lot going for me (as we all do!!) and I don’t need a man to make my life complete. I also have an amazing vibrator which will tide me over for now 🤣🤣🤣

Sounding promising for the date @SamW98 look forward to the update

@qqq82 get that number blocked in contacts too. At least your other iron knows how to act appropriately

@LittleFloatingGhost good call on deleting and waiting to see if he puts any effort in.

Not much to update from me as not much going on. Doesn't seem to be going anywhere with Mr snap despite a good start. He just doesn't seem to have much free time or more not prepared to free up any time. We had discussed a date at beginning of this week but then the day came and went and he messaged about something else he'd done. I wasn't fussed so didn't say anything about it. He then messaged later in week saying he'd realised what he'd done. I replied that it was fine and it seems our childfree clashes are going to be a problem. I sent a message yesterday morning and for first time in 6 weeks didn't get a reply so am assuming he's disappeared now and won't be chasing up. Started chatting with a new iron yesterday who seems buce but not sure if the 19 miles apart will work (he matched when he was closer for work within my distance settings).

Heading out into the wild today (city centre 😄) so will keep my eyes open for some in flesh flirting which I'm very fond of 😄

Heading out into the wild today (city centre)

🤣Enjoy!

@Slothmomma @NervesOfCotton @qqq82 @Thisisworsethananticpated

He has messaged apologising this morning and are going out this afternoon. Won’t save his number back just yet!