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Original poster

Trigger warning...if you died would you want your partner to find someone else?

181 replies

Addicted2LoveIsland · 02/07/2023 00:51

Genuine question. I understand this might be sensitive to some, but I am genuinely curious. If you passed away would you want your partner/bf/husband to move on and find someone else? Or would you want them to always hold a torch for you and only you?

OP posts:
BatshitCrazyWoman · 02/07/2023 17:17

WtP · 02/07/2023 15:39

@BatshitCrazyWoman
"I'm with a widower, as I said up thread. If I could change one thing about him, it would be to make him divorced 😂 I'd certainly NOT be queueing up to date another widower."

In what way?

Very fortunately my widower is very pleased he met me, as are his friends and family, but I know of women (on another group) who are constantly compared to the late wife, whose partner's adult children are rude to them, who are faced with houses full of the late wife's belongings, like she's just stepped out.

Wouldn't want to risk being involved with someone if those things were the case.

WtP · 02/07/2023 17:23

Ah I understand @BatshitCrazyWoman

Yes that would be awkward, apart from a few pieces of art work my late wife did there is nothing on display of hers.
I have always checked about mentioning her right at the beginning & would never compare! That's just rude.

WasJuliaRight · 02/07/2023 20:08

user1469908686 · 02/07/2023 10:26

If I was the survivor, no, I wouldn’t marry again. Boyfriends perhaps, but I’ve not the energy for another marriage!

For DH, yes I’d definitely like him to move on.
We are fortunate enough to have significant assets that I’d like protecting for our children from any new wife though!

That’s the thing, my husband’s cousin married a widower in 1994 who had two adult daughters, he was 20+ years older than her. They had a son in 1996. They remained happily married until last year when he died. I don’t know whether his daughters were left anything but after nearly 30 years married I don’t know how things would be split to be fair to everyone. I agree that the daughters should have something but then so should family 2 whose marriage was longer than the first.

Flashingtealights · 02/07/2023 20:43

If you genuinely loved your DP, and you went before them, why would anyone not want them to go on and live a happy and fulfilled life with someone else. I think it's really weird to say they wouldn't be happy with it. It goes without saying you wouldn't want them to be making moves on someone a couple of weeks later, or to introduce someone unsavoury into your DC's lives , but apart from that surely you'd want them to be happy.

EggInANest · 02/07/2023 23:17

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/07/2023 17:11

I'd haunt him until I was satisfied that any new woman genuinely loves him and equally importantly, the twatcats.

There would be a lot of poltergeist activity before that point. Not eating properly? Clatter goes the pans. Going anywhere near OLD? Oh, the wifi keeps cutting out. Feeling down and lonely? Let's have that spooky scent of flowers on a summer breeze. Somebody who was mentally totting up the value of possessions? Let's have a dark, overwhelming sensation of being watched. A woman complaining about 'That bloody cat, can't you get rid of it'? Clatter goes the kitchen knives.

I like your style!
😂

brunettemic · 03/07/2023 10:22

I would want DH to be happy, whether that’s by meeting someone new or worshiping a shrine to me every night, either is fine.

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