Boyfriend crying because of me,am I really horrible?

[redsblacksoranges]

So today

He can say what he wants, that's his feeling about the situation. Don't let his feelings define you, it's how you feel that matters.
Your feeling is you wanted something nice to do for your birthday so you tried to make it happen. His feeling was he didn't like to do that for some reason he is unable to discuss.
Everything said after that is just noise/hand grenades to blow up the situation.
Either way it's his problem and you're both making it your problem. Remember it's not your problem unless you invite it in.

Is this out of character? It seems to be quite an extreme reaction if he isn’t usually like this.

This sounds exhausting. You're not on the same page financially as you seem to think you can afford a getaway easily while it's making him anxious. And yes, you tried to override the gift he actually did book for you because you didn't think it was good enough, and you made that screamingly obvious.

If you don't think his gifts are good enough you're free to leave him but it's rude to override it.

No you weren't wrong. What he booked for YOUR birthday wasn't what you wanted to do. You got a generous gift and wanted to put it towards doing something more special. Look, he doesn't want to do what you want to do, probably because it's what you want to do. Decide if you want to tolerate that or not.

Btw, maybe you should shit in his cornflakes

Or eat his hamster

Maybe he's planning to propose and you keep scuppering his plans?

He's sent me a text saying
"If you want to go ,go
I don't want to go to (hotel name ) now because it won't feel special like I had planned it now-you've made sure to ruin that "

Actually calling you sly when he was the sly one tips this into full DARVO territory. That's Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.
He's messed up and he's turning it around onto you. He seems utterly determined to ruin your birthday.

The hills are that way >>>>>

Spoiler alert, he never intended to go in the first place.

@gannett he only booked that quickly to stop me booking Blackpool
He wasn't arsed about going to this hotel at all
He thought if he booked that it would shut me up-I know what he is like

He clearly wanted to put the breaks on and you weren’t listening but you clearly wanted to go away and he wasn’t listening
he actually booked something though
And it’s your birthday

if you’re paying anyway can you take someone else?

@BookLover7777 deffo not going to propose ,he won't fork out for a ring

He's an abusive bastard. Go to the concert, have fun, and dump his ass.

Gross. I’d dump him just for that pathetic text to be honest. Full ick.

He's awful. Just awful. Every part of this decision making process about your birthday has been about him manipulating you and tainting everything for you. You would be very foolish not to dump him immediately.

He's being totally manipulative.

You know what I feel sad now that I probably wouldn't enjoy it
Sad as it sounds I had my headphones on this morning listening to my music getting all excited thinking about it
Didn't have a clue he would object

OK you clearly don't think much of him so there's no point continuing this relationship is there.

How old are you both
How long have you been together

He doesn't sound invested in you and your relationship

Sounds like he is hurt because hos suggestion wasn't good enough. I do sympathise to an extent but he kind of put himself in that situation by not listening to you about what you want to do on your own birthday. Hopefully if he has no form for being controlling or dramatic, he will come to his senses and realise he got it wrong this time and have a conversation about what YOU want to do. If he doesn't, well, you jave a bit of a problem there.

I also agree that you should find a way to get to the concert if that's what you want to do. Life is too short and having fun experiences while you have the cash to do it are really precious.

How long have you been together and is he usually like this?

Personally, I'd use your aunties vouchers and take a friend and have a lovely time!!!

He sounds worse with every update.

I know this is going to sound hardline but I developed a rule to dump anyone who cried when I did something perfectly normal (e.g. make a plan, refuse sex). Some people (including men) use tears as a control thing. So you want to organise yourself a fun birthday trip? Wow, hardly worth another person crying over is it. What could be the real reason for the tears? It's not the effort he's put into his "plan" is it (seriously his plan is what's a waste of money - hotel in your home town?). The only likely answer is that he's just in a pet because you're an independent person who has decided what she wants and is going ahead with it, rather than doing what he wants.

I'd dump him, go on the trip alone or with a friend/relative. And have a lovely birthday!! whiny boyfriends are a very bad thing

Is there a chance he's got money issues you're not aware of?

I love him but everything is on his terms
We have been together 3 years and live together.