Boyfriend crying because of me,am I really horrible?

[redsblacksoranges]

So today

Honestly that seems extremely dramatic. The op and her partner read like they’re both young and childfree. Both seem to work (happy to be corrected on all that). So taking a few days off for a trip, including a concert is really not that odd. If you’re going to have a holiday why not do it over your birthday? Annual leave isn’t just for random times. Why on earth is it something to cry over just from suggesting it? I’d be certainly reassessing if I’d want to be such with an unadventurous person who emotionally manipulated me anytime I wanted to go away for a few days.

We are both 31
No kids yet and were hoping to start a family soon
My point to him was why don't we live now and have fun times before any babies come along

On reading the sentence where you said that you did everything on his terms, that is when I thought that you should walk away. A partnership is not a one way street but traffic running in each direction with give and take... currently you are giving and he is taking. Leave before you are completely worn down, you deserve nice things to happen, as much as he deserved the things you have done for him.

This is not a man you should have a baby with OP. Run for the bloody hills!

He’s not the one for you op. He’s your bf. If it’s not working it’s time to move on. You clearly have different priorities and ideas. Better split now than end up marries with 3 kids and miserable as he won’t go anywhere or do anything.

Please don't have babies with this man; you'll be tied to him forever and he's really not going to change. You're perfectly young enough to walk away now, and find someone who respects and values you.

Do not have a baby with him!

Oh OP, you don't want a baby with a man that won't even put a ring on your finger and won't do anything you want to do unless it suits him.

The imbalance in your relationship is palpable.

I’d rather do a nice hotel in my home town and Sunday lunch than two cheapo nights in Blackpool.

Get a ticket for the gig and go alone. I've camped at metal festivals alone. You'll be OK at a gig.

Don't have kids with him! He'll make them feel like shit for their decisions too. He's a bag egg. Find someone better.

Oh God, don't have children with this man.

Bad egg...

When we were young and child free we went to Spain for the weekend just because. It’s not really unusual.

Unless he has a big surprise party planned or is going to propose at this hotel he is a complete manipulative prat - I had one of those and he sucked the joy out of everything that wasn’t his idea.

And the crying???

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, could there be something else going on with him?

A few months ago I asked boyfriend to put a few days in from work so we could go to a gig with my fav band (a few hours from home )

Before you get to any of the rest of it - are you sure this isn't the root of the problem?

People are different I know but if someone expected me to book a FEW DAYS (!!) off work so THEY could go to see THEIR favorite band, it would really really annoy me.

My attitude would be you like this band, you go and see them; I'm happy to come with you to see them if you want me to come but I'm not taking several days off work for this, it's excessive and it's an unreasonable request.

It's also quite another thing to say to someone it's my birthday, this is what I'd like to do (See this band) and float the idea of them supporting that desire as a birthday gift but expecting someone to take time off work is a bit much to me.

Like I said, people are different and have different attitudes to work, even particular bands so who knows. This would piss me off though as unreasonable and entitled and very self-centred. Me: Why should I fuck about with my work and career so you can go and see some crappy band that you like?

He’s a manipulative selfish man child. I honestly thought you and he must be about 20 from the posts. And not mature 20 year olds at that, his behaviour is so immature and selfish.

Do not have children with this pathetic manchild.

Do not stay with him.

Find someone better. You will regret it if you stay and have kids with him.

This

I don't think this relationship has legs. At least it wouldn't for me. Either he's an utter twat or has some kind of 'issues' but I wouldn't stick around to find out what exactly. Sorry if that sounds selfish. My advice: DUMP.

Apart from the fact he is a manipulative, controlling xxxxx, I am struggling to see how Sunday lunch and a night at the Malmaison will cost significantly less than two nights in a cheap B&B in Blackpool.

He's nasty and a bully OP, please don't continue with this relationship. He is trying to make you the Cinderella in your relationship, think about what that says about how much he values and respects you and your ideas. As others have said, it will only get worse in the future , this is not somebody you want to be married to or raise a family with.

Apart from anything else, can you imagine what a nightmare he'd be to get divorced from?

Good luck, you deserve better. We all do.

Sounds rather like my exh. You can never win no matter how you try to please — if you do make a point and he agrees it will be a pyrrhic victory and he’ll ruin it for you.
I know it feels like you’ve invested a lot in this relationship and you love him but he’ll kill that love and you’ll wish you’d left sooner.
Good luck.

You are in a unique position to have hindsight to your future with him
Every occasion that means something to you has to be on his terms.
He knows he's ruining your birthday as that's how he's playing it it's your punishment
Don't have kids with him you will be trapped and feckin miserable
Leave and find a less controlling miserable fuckwit op
I had one of these made my life miserable

@SirQuintusAureliusMaximus then surely if BF thought it was unreasonable then that would have been the time to say so.

@MrsSkylerWhite Blackpool was because I used to go with my mam when I was young and she passed away when I was 13
My happy memories before she got ill was going to Blackpool so for me it's a nice place to go -I know some people hate Blackpool tho ha ha