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Original poster

He went on a date with someone else

146 replies

usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 07:30

I've been dating a man for a while snd everything had been great (about 8 dates in) chemistry and I really thought we were on the same page snd he liked me, we have been sleeping together and before that happened I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!! I'm pretty gutted and now see that actually he isn't very interested in me snd is just keeping me around while he looks for the right one.

I'm battling with myself now, if I say something or not.... do I have a right to say anything

OP posts:
OwlsRock · 10/06/2023 07:36

I'd just break it off. He's obviously not that into you sadly.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 10/06/2023 07:38

I couldn’t not say something. I wouldn’t sleep with him again that’s for sure.

KissKissMollysLips · 10/06/2023 07:39

Yes, as above. I’d end it if I were you.

Muncha · 10/06/2023 07:39

Just block him

AprilDecember · 10/06/2023 07:40

Yep. Block and delete.

SpringleDingle · 10/06/2023 07:40

Ditch his ass and go!

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/06/2023 07:41

I'm so sorry but agree with the others, you need to block him now.

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:42

I don't understand. You told him you weren't interested in a sexual relationship, and was still seeing others. And he's seeing others 🤷‍♀️

Then slept with him. At that point, did you have another conversation about exclusivity, or did you expect him to be a mindreader?

If you want to change the status of your relationships, you need to communicate that.

Just having sex doesn't automatically change things imo.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 10/06/2023 07:43

Are you sure it was a date and not a female friend or relative?

doozledog · 10/06/2023 07:43

Ahh how utterly disappointing for you. Block and delete!

Berlinlover · 10/06/2023 07:44

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:42

I don't understand. You told him you weren't interested in a sexual relationship, and was still seeing others. And he's seeing others 🤷‍♀️

Then slept with him. At that point, did you have another conversation about exclusivity, or did you expect him to be a mindreader?

If you want to change the status of your relationships, you need to communicate that.

Just having sex doesn't automatically change things imo.

Read OP’s post again.

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

Savoretti · 10/06/2023 07:46

I would just tell him based on the fact he is still dating others, you won’t be seeing him anymore. I don’t understand this culture of just blocking, it’s running away without ending things. It’s fine to do it by text but just blocking seems rather childish in my opinion

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 10/06/2023 07:46

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

Op said she didn't want to sleep with someone who was seeing other people, he agreed therefore he was saying he's not seeing other people.
OP as others have said, block him

NeverThatSerious · 10/06/2023 07:46

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

How are you still reading this wrong?! She said she wasn’t interested in sleeping with someone who was still seeing other people and he agreed with her, they then slept together, and he continued to see other people.

That’s so shit OP, I’m sorry. Sucks when someone you like lets you down.

Carryonkeepinggoing · 10/06/2023 07:47

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

You’re still misreading it.
OP had the conversation about exclusiveness. She told him she only has sex once dating becomes an exclusive relationship. He agreed. They had sex. Then she saw him out on a date with someone else.

hugefanofcheese · 10/06/2023 07:48

You'd agreed exclusivity so I'd break this off straight away if you're sure what you saw was a date and not drinks with a pal or sister.

You might not be boyfriend and girlfriend at this stage but it's not right to breach exclusivity. Certainly doesn't bode well for his trustworthiness.

Sorry to say but if he's still casting around then he is either not that keen (don't take it personally) or has no integrity so I wouldn't bother with much of a conversation as he will probably make excuses to keep you around for sex and company.

There was a recent post where OP was getting on well with a man and saw him out on a date (holding hands I think so not his cousin). He made an excuse, she gave him a chance and he ended up being a let down anyway. I wouldn't give this guy that opportunity. Onwards.

WimpoleHat · 10/06/2023 07:49

Are you sure it was a date and not a female friend/colleague or whatever? What exactly did you see? I would give him a chance to explain at least. But that’s pretty rubbish of him if that’s true, as you’d been pretty clear where you stood on that and I wouldn’t be sleeping with him again on that basis.

FinallyHere · 10/06/2023 07:50

Sorry this has happened to you OP

Absolutely, why would you continue when he has at best lied by omission, letting you think he agreed with not sleeping together unless exclusive?

I'm only concerned that your post reads as if you are asking yourself whether you are right to bin him off for this. Sorry if I have misunderstood, why ever would you not him him off for this?

And count yourself lucky to spot his cheating ways 'only' eight dates in rather than years and several DC later?

hugefanofcheese · 10/06/2023 07:51

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

Read it again. Before having sex, OP said she didn't want to sleep together if he was still seeing others. He agreed and they proceeded to have sex. That is exactly what agreeing upon exclusivity is.

EVHead · 10/06/2023 07:51

I think people are reading the OP thus:

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone , that (I) was still seeing others and he agreed.

Whereas what she means is:

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Notamum12345577 · 10/06/2023 07:52

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:42

I don't understand. You told him you weren't interested in a sexual relationship, and was still seeing others. And he's seeing others 🤷‍♀️

Then slept with him. At that point, did you have another conversation about exclusivity, or did you expect him to be a mindreader?

If you want to change the status of your relationships, you need to communicate that.

Just having sex doesn't automatically change things imo.

Eh? She said she told him that she wouldn’t sleep with anyone that was still seeing other people, and he agreed (that he wouldn’t see other people)

Notamum12345577 · 10/06/2023 07:54

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

That he would behave as he agreed?

LolaSmiles · 10/06/2023 07:54

EVHead I think you're right on the confusion. I had to read the first paragraph of the OP again to check.

If they've agreed exclusivity then he's in the wrong and OP is better cutting her losses.

Sorchamarie · 10/06/2023 07:56

Like another poster mentioned, I really hope you're not considering still seeing this man. If you're sure it was actually a date, he's proved himself to be a lying piece of shit and absolutely does not deserve a second chance.