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Original poster

He went on a date with someone else

146 replies

usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 07:30

I've been dating a man for a while snd everything had been great (about 8 dates in) chemistry and I really thought we were on the same page snd he liked me, we have been sleeping together and before that happened I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!! I'm pretty gutted and now see that actually he isn't very interested in me snd is just keeping me around while he looks for the right one.

I'm battling with myself now, if I say something or not.... do I have a right to say anything

OP posts:
KatyKopykat · 10/06/2023 07:58

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:42

I don't understand. You told him you weren't interested in a sexual relationship, and was still seeing others. And he's seeing others 🤷‍♀️

Then slept with him. At that point, did you have another conversation about exclusivity, or did you expect him to be a mindreader?

If you want to change the status of your relationships, you need to communicate that.

Just having sex doesn't automatically change things imo.

You've not read the post properly.

standardduck · 10/06/2023 08:01

Are you sure it was a date? Maybe it was a friend / relative / colleague.

If you are sure and you discussed being exclusive then I would break it off. Don't waste time on someone who is not that into you.

Aprilx · 10/06/2023 08:02

Flustercuckoo · 10/06/2023 07:44

I had stated I wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone that was still seeing others and he agreed.

Last night I saw him on a date with another woman!!

I'm not sure what else you expected tbh.

She didn’t expect him to be on a date. You know after the two of them agreed that they would not see other people.

Didimum · 10/06/2023 08:05

Are you certain it was a date?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 10/06/2023 08:09

thats a shame and probably very gutting x I’m sorry

id do nothing actually as he’s proven himself to be a liar and deserves nothing

I’d just delete him totally 💯
delete contact and do nothing

he’ll come back for sex likely
don’t reply , delete again

im not saying this is the right thing to do
but it’s what I’d do

solice84 · 10/06/2023 08:11

Did he definitely not see you ?
If not I'd casually ask him what he got up to yesterday
See what lies he comes up with ?
Or he might say he met up with his sister

Obi73 · 10/06/2023 08:22

Are you sure it was a date? My brother is divorced and we’ll meet up just the two of us for lunch/dinner and cocktails - people do get the wrong end of the stick and assume it’s a date which makes us laugh especially when word gets back to someone he’s seeing or my husband - doh!
Ask him then you know for sure.

LemonjeIIo · 10/06/2023 08:31

@usersunisdulltoday
This sucks, what a creep. My advice would be to send him a text saying, 'Sorry, I have just met someone who I want to be exclusive with'

billy1966 · 10/06/2023 08:34

Thisisworsethananticpated · 10/06/2023 08:09

thats a shame and probably very gutting x I’m sorry

id do nothing actually as he’s proven himself to be a liar and deserves nothing

I’d just delete him totally 💯
delete contact and do nothing

he’ll come back for sex likely
don’t reply , delete again

im not saying this is the right thing to do
but it’s what I’d do

This.

I wouldn't bother with any discussion, he has shown you who he is.

Just delete and ignore.

ladygindiva · 10/06/2023 08:41

Are you 100% sure it was a date? He wasn't having dinner with his sister, or catching up with an old friend? I'd check that and if definitely a date then yeah, ditch him.

ladygindiva · 10/06/2023 08:42

Obi73 · 10/06/2023 08:22

Are you sure it was a date? My brother is divorced and we’ll meet up just the two of us for lunch/dinner and cocktails - people do get the wrong end of the stick and assume it’s a date which makes us laugh especially when word gets back to someone he’s seeing or my husband - doh!
Ask him then you know for sure.

Same here! I thought the same.

Original poster
usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 08:51

Yeah 99% sure it was a date by the body language and way there were.

Finning thing is he had actually just texted me before and i replied then I saw him and he then replied to me while he was with her about seeing me tonight. I then replied casually and he said he was home sorting shit out... do he lied about where he was if it was innocent he could just say having a beer with a mate/sister etc

So far I haven't said anything but I'm going to, either by text or face to face.

OP posts:
johnd2 · 10/06/2023 08:55

Must be a massive disappointment and lunch in the gut!
It won't feel like it now, but logically it sounds like a mis communication in both sides really, I think once the emotional response has died down you will think of a few tips to help yourself avoid this situation in future (although I'm sure one or two bad ones will still slip through the net!)
Take care!

Agapornis · 10/06/2023 08:59

I take it he doesn't have a twin brother?..

KatyKopykat · 10/06/2023 09:00

After the update then message him saying you know he's a two faced arse and then block him.

Guavafish1 · 10/06/2023 09:01

Just delete him.

He has multiple women on the go, he does no care.

payaklw · 10/06/2023 09:01

I found out recently (don't ask how) that my partner was still trying to find women about a month after we first met - it only stopped when she didn't reply to his last message. If I had known at that time that he was still on the hunt for women, I would have called it day. A month is very early into the relationship so I partially understand not being exclusive at that point but we count the day we met as our 'anniversary' each year and makes me sad that he was still looking for other women after this date.

I don't know if I'm saying for you to end it now or to take your chances and see if it works out (like in my case), but I think you defo need a discussion about exclusivity.

Joeylove88 · 10/06/2023 09:08

You definitely have a right to say something. That is horrible! He's trying to keep his options open clearly so I would say your piece then walk away. What is wrong with men! What happened to just being honest!

mommatoone · 10/06/2023 09:13

So , not only is he seeing someone else but he lied about where he was?
Run for the hills!

CaribbeanCupcake · 10/06/2023 09:13

Make sure you say something face to face and not over text- harder for him to lie

RudsyFarmer · 10/06/2023 09:15

usersunisdulltoday · 10/06/2023 08:51

Yeah 99% sure it was a date by the body language and way there were.

Finning thing is he had actually just texted me before and i replied then I saw him and he then replied to me while he was with her about seeing me tonight. I then replied casually and he said he was home sorting shit out... do he lied about where he was if it was innocent he could just say having a beer with a mate/sister etc

So far I haven't said anything but I'm going to, either by text or face to face.

So he’s proved he is a liar. That’s honestly all you need to know. If he’d straight up told you you were not exclusive and he was saying other people that’s different. I played that game myself but was honest about it. He wants to be a player so he played the game and lost. Throw him back.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 10/06/2023 09:18

What a keeper... on a date and texting another woman too.. I would have taken a picture of him on his date and sent it to him to be honest or walked over and asked how they were getting on and ask her if she wanted tips but then I am a peri menopausal bitch right now and have no tolerance for shite anymore.

Dump him and find a nicer one OP.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 10/06/2023 09:22

Fuck that shit. Dump and run

Sothisisitthen · 10/06/2023 09:46

This happened to me.

I sent a text saying “I know you are seeing other people. Delete my number and don’t ever contact me again.”

We had some mutual acquaintances, but not enough crossover that I saw him at parties etc. thank god.

A year or so later he was asking the mutual acquaintances for my number as he thought I would have “cooled down”. They each explained to him I was in a long term relationship and no way in hell would they pass on my number.

Quite satisfying really.

MsRosley · 10/06/2023 09:50

OP, please dump his shitty arse. Apart from anything else he lied to you. Even if he chooses you, that means you can never trust another word that comes out of his mouth from now on.

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